Friend's Friend drinking all the time.!

[OutnumberedMomma]

AIBU? My friends best friend is almost 6 months pregnant and seems to be drinking quite a lot and my friend is no help to her as she is the one going out to the pubs with her feel like I am being so judgemental but if that was my best friend I would be having a stern word with her not enabling her. I myself am also pregnant and would never dream of having a drink whilst pregnant not judging anyone else for having a glass here or there but this girl is out most weekends and even adds stuff to her social networks apps like 3 bottles of cider for £5 etc...As I said she is almost 6 months and is so small you wouldn't even think she is pregnant, could this be from all the drinking she does?
I suppose we have different views of pregnancy and I feel so lucky and blessed to even be able to carry a child I would never jeopardise that. Kind of pisses me off she is taking it for granted as there are so many women in the world who would do anything to be in her shoes!

AIBU?

GCHQ are you serious? OP doesn't even know for a fact that she's drinking too much!!

You need to step up and tell her to stop drinking whilst pregnant. I have in the past, and she took it well really. Just give her the facts and dont be aggressive doing it and hopefully she will listen

Your friend drinks in the pub with her then reports back to you so you can sit and slag her off together? You sound like a lovely bunch of people

^ this

You're not involved in her situation and it really isn't your business how much a distant acquaintance drinks. It's her body, her choice. You can think she is an idiot but it's odd to go as far as you go here.

But it's not just her body is it?

No grip: It is quite shocking that people are prepared to instruct people they barely know in this way. You really spoke to someone and 'told' them to stop drinking?

Yes, it currently is just her body. I'm pregnant and I would go mental if virtual strangers started telling me how to act. Legally, she can do whatever the hell she wants.

GCHQ: You would interfere in the medical care of another adult? Jesus.

Sorry, but you sound utterly sanctimonious. I don't think you're concerned / upset at all. I think you started the thread to be told how much better than this woman you are, for not drinking & appreciating your pregnancy etc..

And just for the record, I'm pregnant & enjoy the odd drink but don't condone pregnant boozing.

Unbelievable. Honestly all of you confining drinking to excess in pregnancy need to give your heads a wobble.

*condoning

No-one is condoning it. We are acknowledging that we don't control the lifestyle choices of other adults, whether or not we agree with them.

So you would also not step in if you saw a child being abused outside the womb? This woman is a friend of the OP. Not a great friend but a friend. Why would it be unacceptable for her to say to this friend that she was concerned? Perhaps the friend has no idea that drinking in pregnancy can cause Foetal Alcohol Syndrome and that she may be left caring for a child that has additional needs.

I agree with GCHQ. It's not an easy decision to make but having seen personally the effect FAS has on a child I would do anything to prevent another child suffering like this.
However realistically the alcohol effects the baby's development so maybe by 6 months the damage is done.
If anyone harms a child after birth it is not seen as a lifestyle choice and should not be seen as such before birth.

All the op has is second hand information from a two faced gossip.

I think she should stay well clear of saying anything about it. She certainly shouldn't go and tell tales to her midwife.

Stepping in to challenge child abuse is a completely different situation. Women's bodies are not covered by laws that prevent them from drinking whilst pregnant, because, legally speaking, a foetus isn't a child. You may not like that but it is the reality. What a woman chooses to do whilst pregnant is her own business.

What trifle said, with bells on.

Bodily autonomy does not - and quite rightly so - extend to an unborn child. This is why abortion is illegal. The woman's rights are paramount and that's exactly how it should be.

None of us think it's a good idea to drink to excess in pregnancy however the law is clear.

There's the law, and then there's doing what feels right.

What trifle said.

And there's doing what feels right, and there's completely overstepping normal boundaries into someone else's personal life.

Hang on. I thought abortion after 24 weeks was illegal unless terminating for medical reasons. I can't believe I didn't know you can abort at anytime up until the due date!!

So is your argument that it's okay to drink up until the point when you're not allowed an abortion because of how far the pregnancy has progressed? Dodgy ground.

How is that possibly my argument!?

Why else would time limits on abortions be relevant to this?

Because after 24 weeks 'I thought' the child had rights but I assume that's incorrect as you said it is still just deemed a foetus.