to provide a specific gift list for kids Christmas presents

[ForeverDrowningInClutter]

I am incredibly lucky to have the most wonderful and supportive family and friends, for which I am beyond grateful. However, this also means lots of gifts for my kids at Christmas (most of the a fore mentioned family and friends love buying gifts as much as I do - I'd rather give than receive any day!).
My kids have so much stuff that I feel quite overwhelmed by all the things in our house - most of the toys of which my kids don't even play with. I find it hard to keep our house tidy.
Would I be unreasonable to provide a wedding gift list style list of suggestions to people kind enough to want to buy presents? Would that be considered rude?

Surely you wait to be asked, before suggesting anything?? If anyone asks; think of something you want and tell them, don't proffer an entire list of suggestions, it comes across as extremely grabby.

I don't think its rude if people ask for ideas. My kids are old enough to write their own xmas wish lists these days. I put it all on Amazon lists (most of our relatives alive some distance away), but always put a note at the top of the list that says 'surprises are best and they should only use the list if they really want to'; I'd hate to come across as pushy. Most are the yellow sticky note type ideas, some are there, wit ha note saying it is an example only, a few things are specific things the kids want.

Some relatives start asking me what the kids want for xmas as early as October, most prefer open ideas like 'they'd like PJ's'. I always love the 'off list' gifts the kids get, as do the kids, but some people, especially those who don't see them much, like to see ideas.

To be honest, with so many gifts to buy each year, I find it so much easier when people have lists of ideas, I am someone that pesters others for ideas! Amazon wish lists have saved me so much time pre xmas!

My family is quite small, and they generally ask for ideas, which I'm happy to offer (within a reasonable price frame). I mean, if you're buying for a child, you want that child to get pleasure from their gift, right? I don't know about a list, per se, but again, I have a small family so it's easier to offer suggestions verbally .

My only concern is that it could become a thing and then every childrens' party invite we receive will come complete with a wedding-style-list of 'acceptable' gifts...... aaaarrrrgggghhhhh!

I've asked for gift ideas 3 times so far, each time I've been ignored. I'd love a list!

I have an amazon wish list for DD. Anyone asking what she wants gets given the link. It has expensive and cheap things on it, clothes, toys, bedding etc. A huge range for people to choose from.

If they don't ask then they get her whatever and that's fine, but at least this way I don't have to think on the spot!

We use lists. It works well

Otherwise is we say the kids would like a book for example, there's a good chance they already have it. Using Amazon gift list we can tick which books from a series they haven't got for example.

Otherwise it's a waste surely? Buying people stuff they won't use

We had a gift list when they were babies also to prevent 10 blankets being bought! From Our family and friends many live abroad also so this is easier

Firstly you are being unreasonable to have toy in the house your dc don't play with, donate them to families where they would be greatfully received and we'll used. The other thing to consider is people may be regifting or picking up toys/clothes heavily reduced as and when they can, so by suggesting a list may be a little tricky for some. I would just say how much you appreciate the gifts but you are completely overwhelmed with too much stuff. Maybe suggest that they make a donation to a toy appeal instead and give their time doing something special with your dc instead.

If you're drowning in stuff, I'd suggest you steer anyone who asks to vouchers/days out. But, yeah, only if they ask.

I'm in a similar situation, DP's family loves giving presents and while I don't want to be ungrateful our house is starting to look like a copy of MIL's house with little bowls and cushions etc that we get, and I would also like to choose showergel/soap/perfume/bath oil for myself sometimes. They get expensive things too, which we can't hope to reciprocate (one year I had an expensive bath oil in my stocking - to my horror I got MIL the same as the "main" present). Also DS is the only GC/nephew so gets showered with gifts (including MIL's neighbours) and we can't move round the house for all the toys, books, clothes etc that never get used.

Last year we tried to pre-empt mountains of toys by requesting books for DS and he would get 10-12 from everyone! This year I'm going to suggest secret santa for adults and one present only from each family member for DS.

We use a list but we dont send it out ( I dont think I could it seems rude to me personally) If people ask what should we get you and DD I always say dont worry about me just get DD something shes written a list of things that she would like if you would like to to look at it? Most would like to look tbh.
I always try to be reasonable with the price range (£3 and upwards) so people can get something DD would like but also can choose how much they would like to spend.

I'm going to ask my sister about her kids lists and what I can get or what I can give them the money to put towards a more expensive item on their lists.

My mum asks for the list but then pays absolutely no attention to it or she says shes getting this and this, Tick it off! so I do then when shes there she buys something completely different! - I still am Grateful for everything DD receives DP isnt though as he's the one that always almost breaks his neck on it as shes got too much stuff.

We have this every year for birthdays and Christmas. Family members seem to buy so much junk for the girls - I have insisted to both sets of parents that they check before they buy anything as most of the time it just gets forgotten about and it's so wasteful. I always worry I'll look ungrateful but I'd rather be honest that have someone buy something for the sake of it.

ImYourWoman, secret santa sounds like a great idea!

You could send a 'pre-list' email / text to family/friends who always buy stuff for your kids, along the lines of "hi, I'm trying to be organised and start Christmas shopping early, is there anything particular you/your kids would like? And do let me know if you're plannning to get something for our kids this year and need some ideas, they've asked for a few things so if it helps I could send you some suggestions?"

A few years ago I started Amazon wish lists for DDs. If anyone asks for ideas (as my side of the family tend to do), I'd make one or two generic suggestions and mention the wish list - if they asked for the link, bingo!

My entire family now does the same thing, and no longer just for the kids. It makes Christmas sooo much easier - even if you don't buy 'off list' it gives you an idea of what might be appreciated. It seems to work very well.

However, DH's family prefer to do their own thing, which is fine too. I ask my nephews for ideas, but they never give me any, so they end up with vouchers!

(As an aside, the 'wish list' thing also prevents the kids from demanding lots of stuff throughout the year - I just say "shall we add it to your wish list?" and that seems to satisfy them. Might not work once they're a little older, but it works wonders for now!)

I have a friend who does that and it works really well. I was dubious to begin with when she told me what she did, but she brought their list up one year to show me and I thought it was a fab idea. Kids look through catalogue/online and give all relevant details. Range of presents to suit all budgets and when you decide which one you want to get you put your name next to it. Wish I'd done that for my kids as they were growing up. Used to get so much rubbish from some people that it used to go in the bin or recycled to charity shops. Doesn't suit everyone but it can work well.

I do an Amazon wish list for my little boy. (He's only one). I only pass this on if people ask if there is a list or for ideas.

I would say by all means make a list but don't give it unless asked as that would be rude.

As for the stuff... depending on how old your children are you could either have a sort out of old toys that they no longer play with and you could do it with them under the guise of sending to Santa so he can give to other children who need toys, or just sort through while they are out or asleep and get rid of some to a charity shop.

I would get the kids to do a list and then casually drop into conversation that lists have been done by the kids. I have a dd (2yrs) and get asked by in laws if there's anything in particular she needs so tend to give a short list of 5/6 things that in laws divvy out between them. Personally I love surprising my friends kids with their prezzies but there are a couple of friends that I ask for ideas

It sounds pathetic, but I have struggled to remove things from my house - my kids intercept, I haven't the time (I am a full ime student with shift work placements) or I am too exhausted.
I feel it's somewhat unfair of you voteforpedr0 to call me unreasonable - I haven't had the oportunity to clear out - I would LOVE to clear stuff out - you re welcome round anytime to do it for me if it bothers you that much.
Stripyblanket I love your idea of swapping toys out - that might totally solve the interception issue :-) thank you!!

I don't think it's unreasonable to send a list to close family. Mine usually ask anyway so I've made an Amazon wish list this year

I have an Amazon wish list for DS. Mostly because I see great stuff but he's not old enough for it or I can't afford it so I put it there for later to remind me. DH's family live far away and they always used to say "we want to buy him something but don't know what he needs or what you have". So now we get little surprises from the list every so often. It's great!

I got sent a list in reference to a friends impending newborn and things they wanted, I found it offensive ass some items on there were ridiculously priced and for them not their child, I was amazed they had done something so crass and grabby. Additionally, I bought off the listand it was met with ingratitude, yes I could have bought off the list, but I found the idea of what brands were acceptable, clothing named brands etc repellent.

On the flip side, I have recently asked what my friend would prefer for her children this Christmas and will act accordingly.

REQUESTING suggestions is so much different from having certain gifts DEMANDED of you. Do it, but only to those who request.

Unsolicited is rude and entitled and people will talk about it in a way.

Didn't I see something on here a while back about kids toys.

Slide stuff that doesn't get played with away into a box. It stays there for 4 weeks. If not noticed/remarked on/asked for in that time it goes. I thought it was good.

I send family an amazon list they pick from it. Same as we pick of there amazon list for there kids easy and they get what they want so do we.

This year the in-laws and I have communicated really well as to what the children would like. Helping MIL by ordering things on click and collect. Ringing SIL to say I'm in toys r us and have seen this toy and sent pics on messenger. It's worked well.

My children have too much but this Christmas they'll actually receive very little in comparison to last few Christmases. However the gifts they get will be well loved and what they want.....

Apart from one part of my side of the family who take very little direction and buy age inappropriate toys and clothes which are too small or out if season. I've tried go get in their early with suggestions ( in July) to be told wrapped already. For these family members Christmas is something to be suffered and overcome. There is no joy in their gift giving. If for once they actually took direction from me then maybe they'd enjoy it more as they see a genuine look or delight or squeal from the children instead of false wows and polite thank yous. It was the same when I was a child......

Gosh excuse typos. Tired eyes!