to provide a specific gift list for kids Christmas presents

[ForeverDrowningInClutter]

I am incredibly lucky to have the most wonderful and supportive family and friends, for which I am beyond grateful. However, this also means lots of gifts for my kids at Christmas (most of the a fore mentioned family and friends love buying gifts as much as I do - I'd rather give than receive any day!).
My kids have so much stuff that I feel quite overwhelmed by all the things in our house - most of the toys of which my kids don't even play with. I find it hard to keep our house tidy.
Would I be unreasonable to provide a wedding gift list style list of suggestions to people kind enough to want to buy presents? Would that be considered rude?

My dd's have an amazon wish list each with various priced toys/books or dvds they would like/have mentioned. Great thing with amazon if they buy via the list it automatically removes itself so no duplicates :)

Otherwise why not suggest a day out instead? "We have lots of stuff buy they would love to see xx on the cinema" my mum buys a small token gift (up to £10) then takes my girls out for a day trip in December. Last year was a local farm :)

We do it! Surely kids writing Christmas lists is not a new concept, so where's the problem? My niece and nephew have new stuff all the time, if I didn't get a list of specific items to choose from I wouldn't know what to get.

My extended family all do this, for adults as well as children. In general it's great - we are often really specific, which means that I get given clothes which I like and which actually fit! A couple of years ago we suggested Brio (or knockoffs!) for DD, and that meant that in total she got enough to make some really good layouts. Once someone has suggested a list, the rest of us co-ordinate so they only get one of each item. It works for us, I'm happy to be generous, but much keener to be generous when I know the recipient really wants what I'm getting them. The only downside is being nagged for ideas. But it's definitely worth discussing as a family first I think, so it doesn't come across as grabby.

Thanks all of you!
I think I am panicking, and guess maybe I am getting ahead of myself. I have started my Christmas shopping, and have sent several texts to family and friends asking for gift ideas. We have a several birthdays between now and Christmas too (including one of mine), and I guess people are thinking about those first.
Thanks for stopping me making a tit of myself - I would HATE to come across as grabby .

But don't you write Christmas lists for parents/Santa? I think it would be unusual to send them out to wider family.

I do get all the points about my suggested email - so easy to offend.

Whatever you do, don't do this

www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3043579/Online-backlash-mum-sends-gift-requests-invite-son-s-birthday-party-says-receipts-included.html

First and hopefully last time I ever post a link to the Daily Fail!

Yes Beans, that's definitely worse!

We have always done lists in our family. DC'S family were dismayed at the idea of one and of course ignored any helpful suggestions for Christmas presents the first time I spent Christmas day at theirs....

I opened my present from MIL. A lovely book. I opened my present from FIL. The same book.

At this point they were squirming. But it got worse- I already had that book.

It's been lists every year ever since. I hate waste. If social convention dictates that we have to give presents, they might as well be something useful or enjoyable - for the person receiving the present . Anything else is indeed throwing money away in most cases.

Beans Holey moley - I was most certainly NOT thinking about that lol! What an arsehole pushy parent!!

This one splits MN ever year.

Many of us think it is eminently sensible, and only wish everybody would do it so
a) it makes shopping Sooooooooooooooo much easier
b) you know the recipient is going to like what you get them
c) you and yours also end up with things they want rather than stuff they have to politely smile and thank people for when really considering it to be something they really don't want.

I hate waste though - I'd MUCH rather the recipients gave me a wish list to select from and then I'll know I've got it right.

I think these things are either part of your tradition or they aren't - there seems to be few fence sitters on this question

BeansMcCready Thu 20-Oct-16 19:44:21

^^ cunning - like it!!

I always put together an Amazon list for my DC (partly to help remember things for us too). If anyone asks I always reply "A book would be great, or I am sure anything you choose would be lovely. If you are really stuck DC has an Amazon list" and then make sure there is a range of stuff on the list including books". Only if asked though.

We always do this, it's so much easier for everyone. I'd much prefer to buy someone something I know they'll be happy with

I'm having this argument at the moment I'm drowning in shite over here and I've said no more big toys if they are bought they are keeping them at there house they have countered with the demand to buy them clothes I've now countered with we don't need any vouchers for clothing later in the year will be better I bet they buy a houseful of shit for Christmas and I will be sending it back! The joys of a divorce and former inlaws!

If the kids don't use it get rid of it. Simples.

I am but I realised in July we have a huge problem eight bags of toys gone and we still have loads

I have a similar family situation and 2 years ago it got ridiculous so now we tell each other what the kids want. Saves mountain of stress and wasted money on gifts that they don't want/need. Brilliant idea for all involved

IME it's only rude and grabby on MN. EVERYONE I know IRL does this to avoid the issue of space and stuff they aren't interested in. I am usually badgered for a list at the end of the October half term. Most people are pretty good at sticking to lists, but DH has a v generous aunt and an annoying arrogant sister who usually go off list and get the DC something that they are just not interested in. It's only the thought that counts if the gift involves some thought!

I am usually badgered for a list at the end of the October half term

But people are asking for the list, which is fair enough.

OP is asking about giving out lists to people without them asking or even knowing I'd they are planing to give them in the first place

Think its rude and takes away any pleasure in choosing gifts, which is something you supposedly like yourself.

Also, sometimes relatives buy really good, interesting, personal presents which you're stopping them doing. Its all a bit boring and also grabby really.

I don't even give ideas to family anymore. The IL's on a couple of occasions said they had no idea what to get the kids so I would tell them what they had asked for (generally the only thing they wanted) and they would say they would get it. Then on Xmas day it would turn out that they decided to get something completely wacky that the kids have no interest in and we haven't got them the one thing they actually wanted because IL's said they were getting it. When asked now I just say I'm not sure and I'm sure they'l like whatever they're given and frantically practice the polite acceptance with my brutally honest asd son

I would be most comfortable emailing saying 'if anyone wants gift ideas, 'then people can opt in or out.

Yanbu. I've sent my family a list because they couldn't think of anything themselves. I did ask them if they wanted me to write one first, though.

If people ask you can make a suggestion but that's it. Why not have a clear out of toys to your local charity shop ?

I wish my parents would read a list instead of gifting whatever random bargain they happened across.