Or are my neighbours complete IDIOTS 😂

[Lilianna123]

Another neighbourly dispute, same neighbours that claimed our cat was teasing their dog, and the same neighbours who accused us of stealing blackberries off their bush that happened to grow over my fence.

Well if I hadn't thought they were ridiculous before, I definitely do now.

Woke up this morning to find a note through the door saying they have had a new piano delivered and due to space they were limited on places it could go indoors (not our problem) they are saying where they have placed it is under a window and their view from the piano is a large oak tree which is in our garden. Their problem is that they are saying the many birds nests that are in this tree are distracting and these wild birds are making too much noise therefore distracting them from the piano.

There isn't even a suggestion in the note of what they'd like us to do about it. Not that I would even consider taking any action towards the tree but FFS what on earth are they doing? They don't have a bloody leg to stand on??

"Their shit don't stink" - yes, very odd.

You were wanting a delivery of horse manure I take it? A whole ton or just a half?

It's alright Andy - our shit doesn't stink, remember?

He is so deranged and illogical I would be very worried. It seems so personal!

I hope you do order a ton of odorless manure to coincide with their return!

The phrase refers to people who think they're better than you, so 'their shit doesn't stink'.
I'm now wondering if it's an East Anglian saying?

OP I guarantee that you will come home one day and find that Batshit Andy has posed as the owner of your land and had your tree chopped down. Get a preservation order on it and inform the neighbours.

A tree preservation order really isnt a good idea. It wont prevent the tree being cut down either.
But it will prevent OP pruning it in the future.

He needs a hobby, one outside of the home. Might be worthwhile mentioning that to his wife and see what she can come up with.

I think you need some sort of Non Molestation Order for the poor tree.

Sounds bonkers.

'Their shit don't stink' isn't an East Anglian phrase. So far as I know it's an Americanism, I've heard it a lot on TV etc, not so much irl but it's not uncommon.

Andy's priceless .

I assume his holiday in Bora Bora is a little bit boring if he's filling so much of his time on FB.

I feel sorry for you OP, having to live next door to Andy. But I feel sorrier for Mrs Andy, her life must be hell.

Andy needs to be encouraged to get a time consuming hobby that keeps him out the house. Mrs Andy needs to drink wine with the OP then leave him.

I cannot believe this is still ongoing

But it's brilliant to hear that the "friends" he has on FB think he's a loon

I feel more and more sorry for Mrs Andy every day. Andy really doesn't like people not doing precisely what he demands does he?

Oh dear OP. After reading your update, it would appear poor deluded Andy is in this for the long haul. He's going to have you in court every couple of months for spurious reasons (representing himself of course with reams of pointless "evidence").

Cling film their house while they are away.

It will give him something different to moan about.

Am I the only one searching for Andy Bora Bora on Facebook?!!

Love that his friends have told him he's being batshit too!

Where I live there aren't 'tree protection orders' per se, but certain native trees care designated as a 'heritage' tree based on age and type. We have two 'heritage oaks' on our property. They cannot be removed without permission (which entails planting X number of oak trees in our area in its place), but we can prune them using licensed arborists. I kind of like the term 'heritage' when applied to a tree.

I think you need to put a big sign under your tree with fancy lettering saying "Heritage Oak" and see what Andy makes of that.

When is Andy back? How dare he go on holidays whilst everyone is sitting here waiting for more tales of madness.

I'd personally be tempted to shove a bunch of flyers through their door for triple glazed windows and new blinds.

Andy is turning out to be an unexpected pot of gold. The mad neighbour who just keeps on giving. So can't wait for him to get back. He is clearly the type who will think everyone who disagrees with him is the unreasonable one and will never question his own sanity.

You've got screen shots of the FB roasting, yes?

He's probably catfishing people on FB. He's not on a tropical yacht - he's doing a short sentence for breaching a restraining order. ;o)

The classy phrase "Their shit don't stink" was a favourite of my late, unlamented MIL. She was from Bedfordshire. I'd never heard it before - so I assumed it was a Southerner thing.