To think this is beyond weird!?

[FameNameGameLame]

This is driving me nuts and I've NC to post. My DS went to the zoo with his class last week. Came home with lots of stories and a new pencil and notebook. They had a really fun day.

A bit later via the class group text a message comes in from a parent saying thanks to the mum who anonymously phoned the zoo and bought them all a souvenir pencil and book.

For the next multiple hours there are messages from mum after mum after mum thanking this anonymously gifter.

No one knows who it was. Then yesterday there was a note from the teacher saying thanks to the mum who anonymously did this.

AIBU to be weirded out by this. I mean, why do that? Why!!!

Thankyou spanks the OPs comments made me feel very sorry for her, it seemed like a harsh view of the world.

I agree with everyone else that the gesture was kind and not show offy at all. However, I can kind of understand how a less well off parent might feel like this sort of gesture was directed at them or people like them as a charity case or something. And feel paranoid, like why does some richer mum want to buy my kids stuff, is it something I said that sparked this, do they think I can't buy my kids presents type thing. And it being anonymous -- who is the person who reckons I can't afford to buy my kid a pencil? Does everyone think this? I don't think this means this wasn't a lovely gesture, just that I can see why some might find it a bit unnerving.

Bloody hell. I know why she did it anonymously. It's because she didn't want you slagging her off to all the other mums!

That's a great post ColemansCat.

I'm wondering if there's a culture competitiveness or one-upmanship among the parents at the OP's son's school? Maybe some characters like the infamous (on MN anyway) "lemon drizzle bitch" who might do this sort of thing under a very thin veneer of anonymity to cement their position in the school-gate hierarchy?

I'm trying to give the OP the benefit of the doubt; maybe there's a massive backstory that would explain why she would take such a cynical view of what seems like a simple act of kindness.

I agree that one way or another there's a backstory to Fame's views, but I wonder if the donor's motivations are really relevant.

Giving all the children a treat was a nice thing. The motivation for the treat doesn't change that fact that it probably enhanced all those children's day and made it just a little bit more memorable.

Oh well I'm a weirdo freak too then. Dd years ago went on a trip abroad with the local brownie and guide group. I was seriously overthinking about if she lost her money at the beginning that Brown Owl took some Euros I gave her 'just in case'. As a thank you for taking the kids abroad intold her to put it to the ice cream fund in the last day. Instead she found some pens on the Euro Disney site that she could get for all the girls so that they all had a souvenir. No announcement - just something you do. Had forgotten about it til now.

OP please tell me you went out and committed a random act of kindness today???

Report back and tell us how it went...

Fos. I really want a Disney pen, now (stationary addict)

colemans and acts like that make the world a whole nicer place. i'm glad I see the best in people until they prove to me they are not genuine, good people.

The team my dp coaches had a match on Mother's Day last year, so I made cupcakes for all the boys to give to their mothers.

I am obviously an attention seeking weirdo................

Bertand

And here you are, bragging about it in a passive aggressive way . . .

Weirdo . . .

Bertrand you absolute weirdo don't you have a job to go to ??

poking fun at an earlier comment by op just incase you didn't see that

It's a nice gesture but also a tiny but weird. If my child was on the trip I'd be thinking why did she do it and is this going to become a thing, ie is it expected that a Mum will do this every trip! Bet the teachers weren't sure what to do either..school trip planned etc and then they are informed a Mum has done this...cue lots of pencils to give out....

PS...I also suspect it wasn't entirely anonymous and the teachers probably know who did it.. probably to get well in with the teachers....but maybe I'm being disingenuous here 😂

I never understand the concept of "well in with the teachers".

I'm polite and friendly to my children's teachers. I support their aims and have great respect for the job they do.

My kids are well behaved and I try to make sure that we are organised in response to all school requests etc.

What advantage would the teacher's liking me other than that give? For me or my DC?

The teachers aren't going to let my kids off homework because their Mum bought everyone a pencil.

I really honestly don't understand the concept of sucking up to the teachers".

For what purpose?

"And here you are, bragging about it in a passive aggressive way . . . "

I'm not passive aggressive- I'm a closet narcissist.

This is quite a nice idea, I might do it for DS's class .

Dammit! How did I not recognise that closet narcissist behaviour!?

Probably because I have a job to go to . . .

I've never understood why people want to get well in with the teachers either but they do....you see it all the time...I can only imagine it could be so as their kid gets a good part in the Xmas play or perhaps more merits than others.. or perhaps when their kid gets into a fight, they will get off lightly.... trust me, it happens...

I find having a class's text messaging group a bit odd.

While I do think it was a nice gesture, like someone said up thread I hope it doesn't become a 'thing'. I'm always pleased when letters for trips contain the words 'Please do not send any money for the gift shop'.

It's not odd, they were on a school trip, and the teacher had probably created a class group so parents could be informed if there were delays etc.

I'm well in with the teachers me. I help out at school at any given opportunity, I run an after school club and if it's fundraising you're after, well, just call coffee.

It's no good though, my DS is still not doing well at school. Maybe I should offer his teacher a blow job, would that help do you think?

Oh, hang on a minute. I forgot. I don't help out in order to advance my son is some way do I? I help out because I like to help. It gives me a deep sense of personal satisfaction. If I could give up work tomorrow and just do volunteer work, I would.

"I'd like to thank the anonymous parent who took time to give me a blow job yesterday...."

You see Coffee that's what I think.

None of the people I know that volunteer at their kids school do it to get "in with the teachers" (whatever that means) they do it because they have time and talents they are happy to share and because it benefits the school community.

How profoundly depressing that there is a significant minority of people who are determined to see every act of kindness as being narcissistic or manipulative. How do you go through life second guessing any friendly comment or pleasant gesture as 'showing off' or 'trying to get well in with the teachers?' What a miserable existence. Do you honestly not understand the concept of being a nice, decent human being? Sure, there is a philosophical discussion to be had about whether true altruism exists or if the 'buzz' of being generous constitutes a reward thus making it not a purely selfless act but for fuck's sake, someone thought it would be nice to buy some kids a present - there doesn't have to be an ulterior motive or an explanation beyond 'that would be nice, why not?'