To think this is beyond weird!?

[FameNameGameLame]

This is driving me nuts and I've NC to post. My DS went to the zoo with his class last week. Came home with lots of stories and a new pencil and notebook. They had a really fun day.

A bit later via the class group text a message comes in from a parent saying thanks to the mum who anonymously phoned the zoo and bought them all a souvenir pencil and book.

For the next multiple hours there are messages from mum after mum after mum thanking this anonymously gifter.

No one knows who it was. Then yesterday there was a note from the teacher saying thanks to the mum who anonymously did this.

AIBU to be weirded out by this. I mean, why do that? Why!!!

Now go ... that is.

When my DCs were at primary school (after talking to the head teacher about it) I made 220 plain white plaster Pudsey Bear Christmas tree ornaments. One for every child in the school + a few spares. I donated these to the school along with 7 boxes of chocolates.
For their Children in Need fund raising the children bought in a donation and were given an ornament. They then decorated them during an art class. They were displayed in the classrooms and each class teacher gave a box of chocolates as a prize to the child who had made the most effort. At the end of term the children got to take their ornaments home.

It didn't cost me much beyond a couple of bags of plaster of Paris and about £20 for the chocolates but it took weeks and weeks to secretly mould all those ornaments (I didn't want DCs to know about them). It was totally a labour of love and I got such a thrill at watching the little ones show their mums what they had made. To this day no-one but me and about three staff members know where the models and chocolates came from and it didn't matter. I didn't do it for recognition or gratitude, I did it for fun, for a good cause and to see the pleasure on the children's faces.

Is it so hard for the OP to understand that sometimes people do (very) random nice things with no ulterior motive.

Your the reason she's kept it anonymous

You didn't just ask you berated and hurled personal insults about her.

30/40 quid to make a whole bunch of kids happy= well worth the price.

So what if it's narcissistic only she knows it was her. Everyone else just has a happy child!

Imo it's no different to an anonymous donation to charity. People are helped/made happy. the person feels pleased that they did somthing good and there is no forward action because no one knew who'd done it.
So it's just a nice thing done by a nice person hanging in the ether what the fuck is wrong with that?

"There was a parent in my daughters class who bought 6 children each a matching t shirt for sports day. "

Because that is exactly the same.........

How can it be showyoffy if it was annonymous? 🙄

Your story is hardly analogous as the donater in this case bought for everyone in the class, so no child was left out.

I wasn't intending for it to be the exact same thing, just a little anecdote to add to the discussion

Wordwhirls that's a totally different scenario. The person in this case did it anonymously, and for the whole class, not a select few.

I've worked for charities for a long time and regularly the charity received very high level gifts from people who chose to remain anonymous. Believe it or not, some people like to do nice things for reasons other than attention and glory.

There was a parent in my daughters class who bought 6 children each a matching t shirt for sports day

This is totally different - a) wasn't done anonymously and b) it made a small group "elite". This is completely different to quietly arranging for a small gift for the whole class. (Or the whole school, as Liiinoo did).

Nice one Liiinoo BTW - what a lovely thing to do.

Ok, I accept it's a different scenario, wasn't expecting a comparison. OP's post just made me think of it, that's all

I did something very vaguely like this and I did it anonymously because if the other mums had known it would have been awkward. I would hate people to think I was some sort of Lady Bountiful, indeed I only did it because I wanted to, and didn't want anyone to feel I was being patronising. I enjoyed giving what I gave and I knew it would give a lot of pleasure. So I did it anonymously and the school covered for me.

shovetheholly. For what it's worth, I think your posts show much compassion and empathy for the OP, as well as a generosity of spirit. (Which clearly makes you a narcissisist )!

Lilinoo. Don't be put off by this OP; I'd be thrilled if another parent put that much time and effort into creating something that gave my DS pleasure - lovely idea!

What Anonymum gets out of it is imagining the kids enjoying their souvenirs and feeling good about herself for making them happy. That's all she needs, which isn't weird. I find it much weirder, and quite sad, that anyone would be unable to imagine that. Generosity is its own reward sometimes. I mean, by OP's reasoning, no one would ever donate to charity without telling everyone they'd done it, or ever bother putting the slightest thought into buying a Secret Santa present, or...

I was going to start buying my kids' Christmas presents soon, but now I just think, why bother? What do I get out of it? It would just be so pointless and narcissistic! So I'll tell them no gifts this year!

I can never work out where all the ss and cs go in that word!

I think its a lovely thing to do! I don't understand why anyone would think otherwise OR question people thanking said person...THAT'S the weird thing!

shove Me neither, too many of both!

Thank you jess I still have the moulds but my big time crafting days are long behind me. I like a tidy house too much now.... but if I ever have grandchildren I might try again!

Is your username a GG reference? If it is I have to disagree with you. He was not the one.

Is this a wind up or a reverse? I hope it is!

Ha, Liinoo, you got me! . Don't say Dean, don't say Dean.....

No. If it was any of them it would have been Logan, but IMO she wasn't right for any of them. It'll be interesting to see what has happened. Not long now!!

I know! Ridiculously excited!

I did start a thread called AIBU To think it should have been Jess

Ahem. Back to narcissistic mothers buying kids prezzies....

Hardly "beyond weird".

Fame have you honestly never seen an act of generosity/kindness that wasn't motivated by some kind of transactional thinking?

If so, that I think you must wander around with your eyes closed because I see them all the time:

The people who leave the supermarket and quietly add a bag to the food bank/dogs home trolley.

The person who helps lift a buggy up some stairs/on and off a train.

The people who donate clothes to charity shops they could have ebayed.

All the millions of volunteers in Brownies/Cubs etc etc who give their time (and often money other resources for free)

Volunteer Firemen/Policeman

Food bank/playscheme/charity workers

Have you never seen anyone give coffee and sandwiches to a homeless person?

Have you never seen people stop to help someone injured or broken down?

The random Mum in the park who helps with spare wipes/nappy/plaster/snack

From a personal point of view, I didn't keep well at all during my pregnancy and random strangers helped me out several times:

Unknown teenagers carried my shopping to the car (more than once, different kids)

a stranger bought me some water and chocolate when I fainted in a shop

Strangers checked on me when I was throwing up in loos/the side of the road/hedges etc etc etc

The final month I was on bedrest- unknown to me a group of older ladies in my church, all neighbours who didn't know me very well organised a secret rota to pop in and check on me several times a week. I only worked it out later on. I could never work out how to repay that kindness, until about two years later when we had about 4 feet of snow. I snuck out and secretly dug and salted paths for them and cleared a walk way to the main road.

They didn't visit me for thanks or praise they just did it to cheer me up and check I was ok.

I didn't dig their paths for thanks or praise I just did it because I was grateful and it would make their day easier.

I bet if you looked around you, really looked you'd see stuff like this everywhere. You should try it, try participating in it. It will make you smile and the world look brighter.

Well put, Colemans. I lived in London for a number of years and was always rather touched by how quickly people gave up seats for more needy people on the Tube, and how quick they were to help people on stairs with buggys. 9 times out of 10 people were kind to others for no reward, which wasn't what I was expecting at all in the capital.