To not want to learn to drive

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I'm 33 and I have 4 children and my husband drives.

I have never wanted to learn to drive, my family have offered to buy my provisional, to teach me etc but I really don't want to, I've never had any interest in learning to drive.
I ride my bike if I want to go somewhere local, I have a trailer for shopping, if oh is working I use public transport if it's not riding distance (more than 15 miles or I need to get there quickly)

For some reason everyone thinks I need to learn to drive next year, I've had 4 offers of provisional license for Christmas/birthday

There are many reason for driving and against, at the end of the day I guess if OP is happy and OP's husband is happy who are we to say otherwise? If that wasn't the case then that is where the problems begin!!!

A very biased view but am heartily sick of non-drivers tbh.

Arrangements are hard work and always falls to drivers to facilitate.

Pisses me off that much that I would never ever date someone who wouldn't drive.

OP, the decision is obviously yours alone and I can only give my experience. I live in London and learned to drive when my eldest was 18 months old, when I was 33. My husband learned at 25 and had been the only driver for 8 years. He wanted me to learn because we had to drive a long way to visit my parents, but there was hardly any other need to drive before we had children. After we had children driving became much more useful for various longer trips that were less do-able by train (because of the kids' stuff), holidays etc. I also realised that I had been selfish in expecting him to do all the driving. I didn't want to learn because I had a few goes with my dad when I was 17 and I was rubbish, but when I took proper lessons I realised I wasn't as bad as I thought. And being able to drive has made a big difference to our ability to do long trips to see my brother and his children, my parents, my grandmother etc, as well as going to see friends in awkward bits of London or picking up the kids when they're ill.

So from my perspective it was definitely worth it. I still prefer public transport or walking and use those options wherever possible, but being able to drive has increased my options and improved my life (and my husband's).

ENormaSlob don't get me wrong, I drive and my husband drives, all my friends drive and most of my family too. My mum doesn't and I just look at her and think what a sad way to be. When my dad was in hospital she had to get 2 buses to visit him and 2 home. It was a long journey which in a car would've taken 20 minutes max. Within being able to drive I'd be stuffed and my husband would be completely fed up. It's not a choice I'd make. Life would be far to difficult and my child would miss out on so much.

OP I've had the same but DO NOT want to drive. I just don't. I live in London so am lucky there is a lot of public transport available and everything I need (with 2 dc) is a bus/train/walk away.dh can drive but we don't own a car so hire one on odd occasion. Food shopping I have delivered or if dm is going same time as me we go together.

Unless you not driving is inconveniencing other family members for frequent favours, I'd just ignore it.

"Thank you for the offer but I would feel awful wasting your money as I do not wish to learn to drive".

Well, don't try and make arrangements with non - drivers if it pisses you off so much

DP needs his car for work because he's on call. Otherwise it gets used for our three trips a decade to IKEA.

I never wanted to learn to drive and tbh even after passing 3 tears ago I still don't really like driving. I make DP do nearly all of it when we travel together! I changed jobs and ended up living and working in a rural area which meant I had to learn as other transport options are limited.

I do have one cautionary tale - about a year after I passed my driving test, DP became suddenly and unexpectedly very ill and was medically unable to drive. I had to take over all the driving, including taking him to medical appointments and all the long distance driving to see family. It took him nearly a year to get better and to be fit to get his licence back, and if I hadn't been able to drive, that already difficult period would have been much, much worse.

a very biased view but am heartily sick of non-drivers tbh.

Arrangements are hard work and always falls to drivers to facilitate.

What a load of cobblers. I didn't learn to drive until I was an adult and wasn't some helpless, useless little wallflower waiting by the phone for it to ring with a competent driver on the other end of the phone rescuing me by offering to take me out in the car and thereby saving my social life.

Maybe it's just the people you know, not the fact they're non-drivers

I drive. I grew up in a place where an adult unable to drive would be housebound. (No public transport, nowhere they needed to go would be within walking distance, taxis would be unthinkably expensive.) Driving was a more essential life skill than being able to read.

I live in London now. DW has always wanted to drive, and has spent a few thousand pounds at random times over the past 20 years taking lessons. I've never been enthusiastic about her learning to drive. There's so little advantage, it costs so much to run an extra car, and, most of all, she doesn't understand that to become a competent driver takes thousands of miles of experience after getting your licence, during which time you are at high risk of accidents. If you don't need to drive more than once or twice a month, I don't see how you are going to get enough experience to become competent.

Driverless Ubers will probably make driving an obsolete skill by 2025.

So for someone who has very little immediate need to drive, I think it makes sense not to bother.

If there were no-one in our family who could drive, then the marginal convenience of adding one car/driver might be worthwhile, but given that one driver covers 95% of driving needs, adding a second would make very little difference.

Spooky you must be lucky that everywhere you need to go and people and places you want to see are on public transport. As I said upthread it would take a stupid amount of time on the bus/ train to visit some friends as they live in small villages with poor public transport (especially on Sundays). When i lived in Cirencester which is a decent sized town the last bus was at about 6.30 and there were no busses on Sunday. The train station was a £8-10 taxi away. If I wanted to visit friends there on Sunday or an evening I would need to drive.

I learned to drive when I was 17 but didn't get a car until I was 22. I have my own car but get DH to drive whenever we go out as I can't be bothered to drive. I don't drink so I'm happy to drive if we go out for a meal though.

Take no notice of the posters saying it's going to limit you.

I get where you are coming from, I don't want to learn to drive either it's just not something I've ever considered.

I've had someone offer me (as a wedding gift) money for driving lessons

It gets old quick. Just decline and say you would like a new bell for your bike actually

Possibly the ones I know spooky, but, very difficult to not make arrangements when they are close family.

And tbh, most of the ones I have met that aren't family were pita too.

Theoretician that's a very sensible post.
It pretty much describes my and DH situation. He would like me to drive because he always has, would feel limited not being able to and, being away a lot, thinks it would make life easier for me to be able to use the car when he is away.
The reality is that even with a licence, I would walk right past his beloved car and get the bus.

I didn't start driving until I was 36! Glad I did, although I still don't drive often (get public transport to work) and it took me about a year to stop feeling very anxious before I drove.

i passed two years ago and it enabled so much.

i don't rely on OH, it's enabled my kids to go to a better school and preschool, i can have 'me' time, i can take kids places, i can do things i wouldn't ordinarily do without having to rely on others (which i hate)

every person at my kids school drives (it's v rural with no bus route anywhere near) apart from one woman and she's always trying to cadge lifts and tbf she annoys everyone with it, because she expects to be collected with two children from the neighbouring town and dropped back at home after a school and nursery run, then she wants it for 12 too for preschool then again at 3, she's been taking lessons for 3 years and refuses to do test, keeps booking it and putting it back, there's gonna come a day when she's stuck and people can't help because she takes the piss.

i didn't realise how much my kids missed out on and how much i relied on others until i passed my test, maybe something g to consider even if you don't drive all the time, shouldn't be down to your Oh to drive all the time.

i think driving is a skill needed nowadays, and will be paying for lessons and a car for each of my DC when they are the right age

I learnt at 17 but didn't drive for years. I was super nervous. However, I drive more now and it's useful for DH to be flexible to go out or be elsewhere even if I need to get about.

Going forward, DH has been ill while we've been away and I've driven home. Also my step-dad died and I was able to just drive home to be with mum. DH stayed at home as he was working, otherwise the whole family would have had to come.

I'd have an honest chat with your DH, only the pair of you can make the decision on what's best for your family.

YANBU, people should be free to do what they want.

I wasn't particularly bothered about learning but my dad and the life skill talk convinced me, I was 22. Then I moved to the UK a few years later and took me 5 years to get the British one, motivated by the fact that DH was in hospital for a week and I spent a small fortune on buses and taxis.

Driving is a time saver though. I had a hospital appointment the other day at a different hospital than the one I normally go, and the letter said the car park was busy, arrive early blah blah blah. Appt was 12-ish so I took the day off and used the train. Left child at school, walked to train station, walked to hospital, had appointment, had lunch, took train back - by the time I arrived home, it was school pick up time again. It was a pleasant enough day and really enjoyed the walk I secretly hate driving, but if I didn't have a day to spare, I could have done the same thing in an hour.

Being able to drive doesn't mean you have to...you could still cycle everywhere etc. I think it is a hugely useful skill.

I should add that it's a time saver for those of us who live in smaller towns with bad transport

For now it sounds perfect and in your shoes I can see why you don't need to drive.

But I'm also reminded of older women who leave all the finances to their husband and are completely lost when he dies or is unable to manage it.

On that basis I would learn to drive now when reflexes and age are on your side, pass the test and then just do the odd drive to keep your hand in. I'd also go back to my bike and public transport,

We live in London and don't have a car. We don't find that the expense is justified as we would not use it for commuting so we would be paying car running costs and season tickets. Everything we need is accessible by public transport or within walking distance. For the odd thing that isn't we use uber. I have never ever asked or expected anyone else to give us a lift. I also am unable to drive. Dh can drive but I am not dependent on him to be the driver as we don't have a car to drive. YANBU OP if you and your dh are happy with not driving. It's none of anyone else's business.

The responses to this post are ridiculous!
I am 34 and I do not drive. I do it by choice.
You are making out it is horrendous not to drive but I applaud you for your decision.
The public transport is great where I live and I find it much easily to walk with my boy in the pram of get the bus rather than have him in a car seat and have to load up the car.
It is a choice to drive not a necessity.

Slightly different as no children, but my partner and I are both in our early 40s and neither of us drive. He grew up in the city centre, then went off to university in a city where few people drove as students, and has never had a lesson. I had eleventy-billion lessons and was the worst, most nervous driver ever and eventually gave up for my sanity. We live close to the city centre now, walk to work, and there is a good public transport network, although in all honesty I can't remember the last time I was on a bus. The only time it might be nice to have a car is for supermarket shopping, but we do that online. I know it may no longer be the norm not to drive, but it's not totally necessary for everyone.