To not want to learn to drive

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I'm 33 and I have 4 children and my husband drives.

I have never wanted to learn to drive, my family have offered to buy my provisional, to teach me etc but I really don't want to, I've never had any interest in learning to drive.
I ride my bike if I want to go somewhere local, I have a trailer for shopping, if oh is working I use public transport if it's not riding distance (more than 15 miles or I need to get there quickly)

For some reason everyone thinks I need to learn to drive next year, I've had 4 offers of provisional license for Christmas/birthday

I am a Girl Guide, I like to be prepared. If you can drive but choose not to, then you always have the option. If you can't drive and you suddenly need to then you're stuffed. Your circumstances could change. What if DH dies, or becomes too ill to drive, and needs to be driven to hospital appointments? What if you break up?

Just remember that having passed your test does not equate to owning a car or being insured on someone elses.

I choose not to swim because I dont really enjoy it, but I can if I need to.

I learned to drive at 39. I plodded at it and passed 1st time. I enjoy driving. I love the freedom. It def beats standing in a stinkycd bus station next to a drunk wondering if a bus might arrive then having to fd Thesiger because the bus is full, relying on lifts and walking with aching arms and back with bags of shopping.

Fold the buggy that should say.

I am wondering how the OP manages with 4 children. Both my husband and I drive and there are times when my husband and I need to be in different places and we've struggled through only having one car, even though we only have one child to ferry around.

We recently bought a new(er) car and my husband persuaded me that it was sensible to keep the old car as well.

Sometimes I cycle, eg to son's swimming lesson, as there is a decent cycle path for most of the way. I live close enough to town and my local railway station to walk. I get my supermarket shopping delivered. But I cannot imagine not being to able to drive as well and being reliant on my man and public transport.

Ok I don't live in London or Edinburgh where public transport is fantastic. But you still need a car to get out to rural areas. I could not get a bus to most of my son's activities and cycling would not be an option at this time of year.

It's a personal thing OP but I think you are being a bit unreasonable not wanting to take up all the offers to learn.

With 4 children, being able to drive will be massively useful at some point, even if you think it won't.

I passed my driving test at the age of 17 and now when I look back, I am so grateful to my mum for organising lessons etc as part as my birthday present- it's a very useful, lifelong skill and I will be doing to same for my children.

My mum didn't take her driving test until she was 40 - mostly because secretly my dad liked having control.

She said learning to drive is literally the best thing she has ever done! She wishes she had done it before she had us DC's.

I couldn't be without a car, i am so busy that i would have to cancel half my life if i had to get buses or cycle places instead of drive

I have four dc purple. You usually can get a bus to activities even though it's not usually direct (can be several buses). That's what I do. We live rurally.

It's a royal PITA but it's not impossible.

But yes, it's getting by. It adds hours to the day. It is limiting. I don't get why anyone would prefer it.

Funnily enough just had a discussion about learning to drive with friends this morning as their DCs are all in Y12 so approaching 17.

The non-driver felt really strongly that she wanted her DCs to learn to drive - classed it up there with having Maths GCSE - not quite a life skill - you can get by without it, lots of people do, but having a license opens up so many more opportunities for you.

redexpat I think your analogy with swimming is a good one

"I choose not to swim because I dont really enjoy it, but I can if I need to."

Like any other skills though, it's better with practice - I resented my parents for making me drive when I went back home in my carless years, but they were right to make me keep my hand in. I wouldn't be happy driving in an emergency if I hadn't driven in a long while and had never driven regularly once I'd passed. And I'm not really keen on others driving in that situation, if I have to share the road with them.

I am pregnant with my first child and have always put off driving, I passed my test in March 2016 and to be honest it's the best thing I've done because it stops me being so restricted in what I can do or relying on others...also if I can drive then me and my partner can share driving when we go long distances.
It would be good to learn so then takes pressure off your partner :-) but it's your choice

This may've been mentioned, I haven't read the entire thread but here goes ... when I mentioned to my hairdresser that I was learning to drive she said it was a good thing - she has a lot of older customers who were used to being chauffered by their OHs. When their husbands passed away there was a perfectly good car sitting in the garage which they had to sell as they had no confidence to learn to drive - they'd left it too late.

However if you really don't want to drive it's not compulsory - it helps if you have the desire to do so because that's your motivation.

The downside of others paying is that they'll keep on asking you how you're getting on - if you've just had a nightmare lesson it'll upset you. They could have learned ages ago when the test was easier - they may not appreciate that for many of us the days of having just 12 lessons then passing the test are long gone.

For myself I felt that I'd spent long enough waiting at cold, wet and windy bus stops with bags of shopping and didn't wish to do that anymore. It was easier learning in the small town where I used to live - I wouldn't fancy my chances these days in a larger town and I'm a bit older now so it's more difficult to pick things up after a certain age. Only you can decide.

I passed my test after two reluctant years of lessons, 12hours before my third child's birth.

I'm completely unashamed to say I liked not driving. I liked having an excuse to not attend things of my oh was working, I liked my oh chauffeuring me about and I liked that I could drink whenever we went out.
However I knew that once middle started nursery I would not be able to get from the school to nursery in time on foot so I carried on. It's changed our lives. The joy from the children is amazing. I'm always at the end of the phone for my recently widowed nana but being able to hop in the car and go give her a hug in person when she calls sobbing that the lawnmowerd packed up and grandad isn't there to help her is priceless. The amount of times I've bawled when I've gotten somewhere because I'm just overwhelmed at what I can do now is stupid really. Do it!

I don't like driving either- I don't think it's any more necessary to enjoy driving than it is to enjoy travelling by bus.
I do it because it save me time..

I hate swimming- but I can swim.

Sorry but I think yabu. I'm 30, 2 kids. I've been driving since I was 17. My partner doesn't drive. I am always the designated driver. I do ever single school run. I do all the driving, everywhere. And sometimes I do resent it. It is a chore, and a burden. I was really worried when I was pregnant about how I was going to get to hospital. My mother had to drive me. Sharing the driving seems like something really small. But it's really selfish to think, well it suits me not to do I'm not going to bother. At least my partner has a provisional and wants to learn!

It's having independence. I'd hate to have to rely on people for lifts or be stuck in an emergency. Basically, grow up.

I passed my test at 34, after years and years of not being fussed about the whole driving thing. I can honestly say that I hated lessons and nearly gave up a few times because I felt it wasn't worth it... with hindsight I wish I'd learnt earlier.

I think it's also nice for DH not to have to be the one who drives every time, even though he usually still does. Makes it all a little fairer

I like driving in my car.....
It's not quite a Jaguar......
(Name the band)
I found and still do find driving to give me a real sense of freedom, especially when I'm alone and can have all my 70's and 80's music playing. My DH doesn't like music in the car. I passed in the 1980's and wonder how I'd do now, what with the theory test!

So, no, YANBU, but it must be very limiting for you. You don't know what the future holds and heaven forbid your DH might not around to drive you. Do consider lessons.

YANBU I've never driven, never needed to and I have 3DC. We live in an area with good public transport and we walk/cycle a lot. DH doesn't drive either. Perhaps its because we're both from a small city originally with excellent public transport and quite a few people that live in the centre don't bother.

I've reached my half-century and raised 4 kids without driving and without pissing off my friends - it's certainly possible. But that's largely because I've always lived in a city with reasonable public transport, and the local taxi drivers are great. In my case the reasons are down to awful spatial awareness, general anxiety, horrible experience of oldest being hit by a car when he was little. I know I won't learn now.

But while it's doable and I've been fine, life would have been so much easier for all of us if I could/would have learnt.

My partner's mother doesn't drive and my partner feels like it caused her a lot of stress as a child. She spent a lot of time having to beg rides from friends parents and turned down a lot of activities because she wasn't going to be able to get a ride or arranging for a ride or using public transport was just going to be too much of a hassle.

I work in the NHS and if I had a pound for every widow that relied on their husband to drive and is now completely isolated I'd be on my way to a nice holiday home in Cornwall by now.
It's essential to learn how to drive even if you hardly ever drive. What happens if your husband gets ill, or is in hospital or needs picking up from somewhere. Don't you want any independence? I can't understand it.
My 34 year old son has never learnt to drive and I'm still tearing my hair out over it.

I learnt to drive at 18 and for me it was the best thing I ever did, made it so I had freedom to go where I wanted, opened my job prospects up etc...but if you don't want to learn how to drive then there's no obligation for you to do so. Don't let others dictate how you live your life, if you do it, do it because you want to. Don't do it because you feel you have to, then chances are you won't enjoy it, and you won't pass anyway!

I have 5 kids, a disabled husband who medically can't drive and I can't drive and have no plans to learn. We manage just fine. This includes home ed trips, forest school, dance, multiple hospital appointments at 3 different hospitals. I can't afford to learn to drive or run a car. If OP doesn't want to learn she shouldn't be cajoled into it.