To not want to learn to drive

[ThisUsernameIsAvailable]

I'm 33 and I have 4 children and my husband drives.

I have never wanted to learn to drive, my family have offered to buy my provisional, to teach me etc but I really don't want to, I've never had any interest in learning to drive.
I ride my bike if I want to go somewhere local, I have a trailer for shopping, if oh is working I use public transport if it's not riding distance (more than 15 miles or I need to get there quickly)

For some reason everyone thinks I need to learn to drive next year, I've had 4 offers of provisional license for Christmas/birthday

I'm the only driver in our household and tbh it can be quite exhausting. luckily we live v near a train station so DH can get to town to do shopping if I'm ill but i have to basically do everything. I hate it.

Each to their own,but life without a car wouldn't be for me.

I had a long relationship with a man who couldn't drive- he had a bike, but I was contantly frustrated because a lot of the jobs requiring moving stuff or people was left to me.

So- any items from Ikea that were small enough to fit in a car was my job, ditto taking animals to the vet, picking up people from train station/airport. dropping off stuff at charity shops/ going to the supermarket= all became my jobs.

Now that I have kids the need for me to drive is even greater. Cycling is great and good for the environment but not good to take elderly relatives to hospital/ sick kids to doctors.
Lots of shopping for a big family, taking stuff to the dump.

Not only that but time is short, if you have kids at after school activities and turnround from school/ meals activities are quick, if I relied on public transport then extra curricular activities would be very restricted.

If my OH didn't drive I would be pretty pissed off.

This is a rather depressing read. I have spent over a grand on attempting to drive, I have failed the theory test 3 times and can't take the practical until I pass that. I haven't had a lesson in ages but used to return a sweating mess, I find it so stressful. I have anxiety surrounding car journeys in general, I don't like being in a car on the dual carriageway and feel panicky if my DH/DCs are on a journey when I am not there. It is one of the most dangerous things we all do every single day on the local news there is another car accident, people needlessly dying all the time. Last year I went to the funeral of a family friend who died behind the wheel, that doesn't help. All of that being said, I do plan to try again, so I have the option. My DH drives but isn't around half of the time, I know he would prefer for me to be able to drive, when he is not available I get by ok as there are buses every ten minutes into the city centre, school and my work are within walking distance, for DC activity (which is not far away but starts half an hour after school finishes) I take a taxi, it's just not as convenient. Having read all these responses, on the odd occasion when my friends/family give me lifts they are resenting it. But I don't actually think that is the case.

Cannot wait for the driverless cars!

Lookmore- persevere. I passed my driving test on the 6th attempt.

4th time for me!

Stick to your guns! I don't drive, and am proud of it. I have never wanted to drive for many reason - cost, environmental damage, additional stress - and am shocked by how many people think they cannot live a normal life without being inside a huge, gas guzzling machine.

I am a single parent, live in a village, work full time in a nearby town and rely on no-one to be driven around - I don't like being in cars and much prefer to use public transport. My mum (also a single parent) and sister don't drive either and I very much hope my children won't ever want to drive either - if they do want to learn, they will have to fund it themselves and face my disapproval which I hope will be enough to prevent them from doing so.

By the way, I doubt anyone reading this thread is interested as I suspect you are all car drivers, but there are now 1.2 billion cars on the road today producing 1.73 billion metric tons of carbon dioxide every year. By some estimates, the total number of vehicles worldwide will double to 2.5 billion by 2050. Human beings obsession with cars will almost certainly lead to mankind's destruction, but hey, it won't happen in our lifetime will it?

• I very much hope my children won't ever want to drive either - if they do want to learn, they will have to fund it themselves and face my disapproval which I hope will be enough to prevent them from doing so.

Disapproval?

kettle- how many children do you have?

You voice your "disapproval" of driving, yet you rely on many people to drive of your behalf.

Unless you live off grid there are delivery drivers that drive on your behalf, truck drivers, meter readers, ambulance and police. Drivers that bring food to your shops, joiners to your home, medicines to your pharmacist, Drivers that keep your electricity flowing, drivers that bring supplies to your kids school.
Do you refuse to use these goods and services because of your principles?

You really disapprove of all these people? What if your children wanted a job that involved driving?

If you genuinely don't want or need to drive, then don't. However I would agree with other posters that you won't really know what you're missing until you learn. I passed my test at 28, having previously failed several times as a teenager and given up learning for years. Driving has improved my confidence and helped me feel like a 'proper adult'. It's also been invaluable since having my DD: both my and DH's parents live a few hours away and driving to see them is so much easier than lugging DD, buggy and all our stuff onto the train.

"The ikea argument is very strong. It was the first place I went when I bought my car!"

Not really. How often do you go to Ikea to buy big things? Probably not even once a year. I took a double mattress home in a taxi. I got a lift from a friend once and another time had to pay for delivery because it was too much for a van anyway.

Ikea is irrelevant (we don't even have one here) - moving furniture(?!) is the least of why I couldn't be without a car.

"I don't drive. Have never relied on or cadged lifts. In fact it's a bit of a running joke amongst colleagues/family that they offer but I refuse."

Same here. I got offered a lift yesterday. It was raining a bit, but it was quite ridiculous as I was only 15 minute walk away from home. So many people drive everywhere, including quite small distances that they can't imagine people choosing to walk.

(Of course I do accept lifts in the countryside when public transport is very difficult or not available at all)

I do drive, but would never drive a 15 min walk distance unless I were carrying a lot of stuff (which happens a lot in my life).

I also don't quite understand driving in most of C London. I walk a lot in London - distances are very short once you know tour way around

But I still like to know that I can drive.

Those who don't drive- have you never had to take a poorly child to a doctor?

Yesterday did 10 lifts for people. 10 Individual lifts.
That would have been a lot of taxi money.

NicknameUsed - you list a lot of places you can't get to with public transport, but also say that you didn't want to live in a city centre. If you lived in a city, or even a town, you would be able to get to all those places. I don't really see the relevance of your post for someone who doesn't drive and lives close to the amenities they use.

I didn't learn until after 40. Neither of my parents drove and none of my adult children have ever taken lessons yet.

I walk with my child to the doctor, it's 0.2 miles away and would take longer to drive and park.

"have you never had to take a poorly child to a doctor?"

Poorly to me just means unwell, an unwell child would still be able to walk or go on a bus. If you mean seriously ill there should be an ambulance in an emergency or a taxi.

What about picking people up from airports or railway stations? Or just doing a big weekly shop? My shopping weighs a ton. Bags of potatoes, veg, water, juice, cat food, cans etc.

I catch the bus to take children to the doctor.

On the one occasion I had to take one to hospital quickly I got a taxi.

My four dc go to a lot of clubs and activities. We catch the bus.

We walk to friends' houses. Or catch the bus.

We catch the bus to birthday parties.

There is only one bus an hour where we live and it's pretty rural.

It is do-able. It is an enormous PITA. But not driving / having a car doesn't mean you can't go anywhere or that the dc can't join in things.

I order shopping online.

Obviously I can't pick people up from the station or anywhere else. It's bus or taxi.

I can't drive as o am partially sighted. I'd love to drive as I also have a physical disability. I rely on taxis. It has limited where I can live ax there needs to be good public transport.

If you have the chance i suggest you learn to drive even if you then never use the skill. Your circumstances may change to mean you would really benefit being able to drive. Life is certainly possible without driving but I so wish I could.

discuss with DP and say you are learning for emergencies only.

My auntie passed her driving test first attempt in the 1980s but never got around to driving again. My uncle just always did the driving. He passed away suddenly a few years ago and my auntie has found herself rather isolated as she's about 20 minute drive from family and 20 minute walk from the shops, which would be fine except that at the age of 72 she now has knee problems and can't always manage the walk. She says she doesn't have the confidence to pick up driving again after all these years. She is furious with herself for not getting a little car after passing her test and getting herself out and about.

My mum was taking lessons in the 80s but took a break when I was born and never got back into it. She has always bitterly regretted it. My dad is 81 with many health problems and no longer able to drive, and I live in a different country. Mum has to depend on taxis and lifts from other family members when they are able to help (which they are happy to do as they all adore her but of course they have jobs and their own families).

MIL also passed her test, on the 8th go, and has never been in a driving seat since and has no interest in it. She lives about 4 hours drive from us and if FIL goes first she will only ever see us and her grandchild if we drive to her, which we don't do often as my little girl is a very bad traveller. She isn't within walking distance of any shop or any of her friends.

I just can't understand anyone choosing to limit themselves by remaining resolute non-drivers, unless they happen to live in the middle of a city and genuinely don't need it. We lived in London for a while and didn't bother to have a car as the tube, cycling or walking was far quicker.

I have lots of respect for people who are nervous drivers but keep trying, or who have failed the test but go back and have another go.

Yanbu

I know many women, and a few men who cannot drive. Many are nervous.

It's absolutely fine. Some people are just so tied to their cars they barely walk anywhere so can't imagine doing so.

I have to admit we had no car for years and when we did get one it opened so many doors. I also hated having to rely on others. But I think one partner driving is ok and not as bad as having no car.