To not want to learn to drive

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I'm 33 and I have 4 children and my husband drives.

I have never wanted to learn to drive, my family have offered to buy my provisional, to teach me etc but I really don't want to, I've never had any interest in learning to drive.
I ride my bike if I want to go somewhere local, I have a trailer for shopping, if oh is working I use public transport if it's not riding distance (more than 15 miles or I need to get there quickly)

For some reason everyone thinks I need to learn to drive next year, I've had 4 offers of provisional license for Christmas/birthday

I agree with you!

I understand it will open up opportunities for me but I just feel it is expensive and I don't enjoy it at all (had lessons failed my test once)

It's such a lot of money to spend week in week out when you don't enjoy it. I think I will have to take my test again because of work but I don't really want too. Although I do feel bad for my OH who does all the driving.

We could never afford two cars either

I learned to drive and passed my test at 45. Largely because I live in London there was no need to learn, but I'm glad I did. But this was due to me wanting to learn before it was too late rather than any external pressure.

Either it is an emergency, in which you call an Ambulance (which will come with trained medical professionals); or it isn't, in which case you shouldn't be going to A&E anyway.

That's not true, though. There are plenty of accidents/emergencies (because it's for accidents too, hence the name) that require A&E treatment but would be a waste of time to call an ambulance for.

Not being able to drive doesnt make someone immature or childish. It means they dont have the set of skills needed to be able to drive.

What a load of old drivel. There are a hundred reasons why someone would not be able to drive.

OvariesBeforeBrovaries - we have one car, and both drive. Our current rule is that the person on childcare duties gets the car, and the person in the office takes the bus. We live in an area with a 1hr 30 bus to work that only runs once per hour, but this works really well for us.

I think learning to drive gives you more options and it doesn't take away any of the options you had previously. For years, I walked/cycled/got bus to work and left the car sitting in the drive, even though i could have driven. But it's nice to have the option to do either.

Either it is an emergency, in which you call an Ambulance (which will come with trained medical professionals); or it isn't, in which case you shouldn't be going to A&E anyway.

My ds has been to A&E twice in two weeks. Both times we were told we did the right thing taking him straight there. A&E was the right place to take him on each occasion, but neither incident would have justified an ambulance.

OP to add to my earlier post, I would say that for me, learning to drive had to happen when I was ready. Lots of people tried to persuade me over the last few years. So many people told me it would give me a lot more freedom and improve my quality of life, but I honestly wasn't ready. When I was ready I asked for lessons of various people for my birthday and Christmas. I'm not sure I would have stuck with it had I been pressured into it, as I found the first few lessons extremely stressful.

I now love driving and can't wait to get out there on my own, but I didn't actually believe that would ever be the case until I was in the right frame of mind and ready to do it.

I don't drive, I have three child with special needs and manage to get them to school on time, go shopping, go to asll the appointments etc and its not difficult at all.
I've lived in north Africa a few years without a car or anyone to drive me around, I'm a single mum and have no one to drive me around.
I don't think driving is a necessity.

Goodness me, thinking that all trips to A&E warrant an ambulance is part of the reason that the ambulance service is under so much pressure. I wouldn't have called an ambulance when I broke my shoulder, it was fine to be driven to A&E in a car.

Re: A&E, of course it's not just for people requiring an ambulance, otherwise it would just be called "Emergency".

To answer the question which was posed up thread about emergencies which needed medical attention but which weren't bad enough for an ambulance: the doctor is 5 minutes walk up the road so wouldn't need to drive and if we needed to get to the hospital/out of hours clinic we would either take the direct bus which stops outside our house and goes to the hospital (this is how I came home from hospital after having dd) or if the injury was too bad for the bus we would take an uber. We are in London and there's always plenty of users available very quickly whenever we've needed one. It certainly would never occur to me to knock up the neighbours and ask for a lift! (Not that it would do much good anyway as they're both elderly ladies who don't drive!)

I can see this from both sides. On one hand it is quite a burden on the driving partner. In many ways it is easier if neither of you drive. There are certainly places where a car is more of a hindrance and learning to drive isn't neccesary.

My wife didn't learn to drive until last year and it was a bit of a bind having to drive everywhere, especially longer journeys (six hours to my parents' house and further still to hers.) I did resent it to be honest. Also she was a bit clueless as to driving and would berate me for slowing down at junctions, dropping back if the road was wet, not overtaking a milk float on a blind bend etc. Also she couldn't understand why I was tired after a long drive or had to stop every few hours. As I'd just been sitting down for a few hours and she felt as fresh as a Daisy in the passenger seat.

She was also a terrible back seat driver and after she berated me for an hour after a missed turn and I snapped. I pulled over and said that if there was any more moaning about my driving, I would drop her at the next train or bus station and she could find her own way back. I'm a very safe and cautious driver and haven't had an accident for nearly 20 years. But when she was in the car I'd be so nervous my driving just went to pot.

When we got home I said I wasn't going to drive her anywhere until she'd had at least a few lessons to understand how dangerous constantly intervening when someone was driving was and the multitude of things you need to be aware of. She did and passed her test quite quickly. It has made a big difference to us both.

However if your husband doesn't mind driving and you are happy to be driven and have no burning ambition to learn. I would bother.

Sorry wouldn't bother.

Walks? - I'm not even dignifying that with a response. Do you drive to a hill, drive home again and claim you went on a walk?

What a very bizarre viewpoint.

I live in a town on the edge of the Peak District. Most weekends we drive to some nice location, often one which would be difficult/impossible to get to with public transport, spend several hours on a good long walk (hills frequently involved) and then drive home. Yes I do claim I have been on a walk actually given I usually have walked at least 7 - 8 miles.

I suppose I could just set off and walk a 7 mile circle from my front door but, you know, that would be a bit dull compared to the 7 miles I might do out in the countryside!

5, yes I agree. a good country walk is the only thing I miss about not having a car. From here I have to go to a London mainline station then get a train then a taxi usually if it's going to be somewhere with properly quiet walks. I do it for a uk break but I can't just go on the weekend to have a lovely walk somewhere quiet. It was the main reason i dithered for a year or so about getting rid of the car.

I've just checked out my commute via public transport and walking on google maps - I would be able to less than 3 hours work a day, arriving at 11.00am and leaving at 1.45pm in order to be able to do the school pick up.

That is because our family life (my job, schools etc) are based around being able to drive. If I were not able to drive then our choices were different and I would not feel that being a non-driver impacted my life, although the reality is that it would have significantly narrowed our choices.

OP if you are being offered the money why not take it and see how it goes? You don't have to have a car and drive once you pass your test but at least you have options.

It's a little bit shortsighted to expect everyone to learn to drive. What if you can't afford the lessons, car and insurance? Or have a disability such as epilepsy where you are banned from driving. It is not a necessity to have a car.

I learnt to drive when I was 35, I'm now 47.I was the same as you and managed perfectly well not being able to drive and really never wanted to.
Ever since I since I was 17 my dad offered me driving lessons for my birthday and every year I said" maybe next year".
In the end on my 35 birthday he just booked me a course of 8 lessons and gave them to me without asking.
I obviously then felt that I had to use them so decided that I would just have the eight lessons and then if I didn't like it or was no good I would stop.I always thought I would not be a good driver as my concentration is not always great and I'm renowned for being clumsy.
I had the eight lessons and hated every one of them, I was so nervous and cried after every lesson however, I am also very stubborn and just felt like I couldn't give up,so I persevered and just 6 months after starting my lessons I passed my test first time.
Passing my test has completely changed my life and I really don't know how I managed before.I had twins when I was 40 and know it would have been so difficult if I couldn't drive . It has been the single best thing I have done and it has opened up so many opportunities and given me so much freedom so much more than I thought possible.
I have been driving 12 years now and have even become quite a good driver something which I thought I would never be.
Just give it a go you might surprise yourself.

I would do it. And I'm not a fan of cars or driving. Like you, I mostly cycle or walk.

I think the thing is, there will be times when you need to do longer trips, and it makes sense to divide the driving. 5 hours of solo driving is quite tiring if you are not used to it, 2.5 hours not so much. If your kids grow up and leave for uni, you could well find yourselves that distance from them - and a sudden crisis could mean they need mum and dad to get in the car!

Also, things can change, and they can change fast. God forbid something should happen to your DH - but what if he falls ill and you become responsible for ferrying him to and from various hospital appointments? There is no time that I've been more grateful for my licence than when my Mum had breast cancer. Even though she only lives 5 minutes from the hospital, she couldn't walk that distance after chemo, and a taxi would have been less private (she often felt really nauseous too).

our family life (my job, schools etc) are based around being able to drive

And for others, those things are based around either not being able to drive or choosing not to.

Both are valid lifestyle choices.

If you don't need to drive, then don't. There are too many cars on the road as it is and too many lazy people who drive a few hundred yards when they could walk.

Either it is an emergency, in which you call an Ambulance (which will come with trained medical professionals); or it isn't, in which case you shouldn't be going to A&E anyway.

The time we ended up in A&E, the out of hours GP sent us there, husband drove himself. DD and I had to take a taxi home (no buses on Sunday - and I hardly live in the middle of nowhere!), car was left in hospital car park for a week. Luckily we didn't have to pay for that parking!

To be fair, I never had to rely on anyone when I didn't drive, but I felt that when my OH needed me, I just couldn't do it as well as I would've had, had I been able to drive.

My friends DH was always of the "we don't need t drive opinion" which was fine as they live in a city but then they had kids. So my friend finally learned to drive in her late 30s n got a cheap car. The DH still insists he doesn't need to drive yet she has to ferry the boys to football, swimming, to see HIS mother. When he has to bring them (when she's working) it takes them about 2 hours via buses to see his parents (30 min drive) or they walk to football (takes 45 mins walk) fair enough they fit but if anyone offers them a lift home they jump in (most weeks). She has to org lifts with other parents to parties etc if she not there. she does all the driving for their holidays & she's well fed up with it. She's put him on the insurance, he's got presents of driving lessons (from his/her family) but he still says "he doesn't need to drive" I think he being an ass. Actually my sis in law doesn't drive either n is totally dependant on my brother for anything not in walking distance or easy bus route. (He has to ferry her to see her parents for example or when they visit ny parents (rural) she's housebound until he decides he wants to go anywhere) she's another one who's got gifts of lessons (from my bro!) but insist she doesn't 'need' it.

I always said I didn't want to drive and resisted until I was 39. Used to drive DH mad that I would walk past the car to get a bus, until I got a job that wasn't easily reachable by public transport. So I started lessons, and took both tests within a month, (automatic only) and I have never looked back. I don't think I realised how convenient and the freedom it gave me. It's a personal choice tho!

I didn't bother to learn until I was over 30 because I lived in NYC which has 24 hour transport. Then I moved back to the edge of another UK city and discovered that public transport died at 11.30, so I learned. Eventually passed my test, and now I live in the country, I am very grateful. A friend who doesn't drive for medical reasons is completely dependent on her DH to leave their house, and it's four miles to the nearest corner shop.

Ifailed - actually broken limbs don't qualify for ambulances in my town (even if it's kids). I had to carry a screaming, near hysterical 3 year old, on the bus. It was so bad the driver got permission from the company to switch up his route so he could take to the hospital (instead of me having to wait for a second bus). I'm not judging non-drivers (I was one myself after all) but I do think that sometimes you don't realise there's a need for something until you need it. Who knows, had my dn not broken her leg I might never have bothered to learn how to drive as.