To not want to learn to drive

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I'm 33 and I have 4 children and my husband drives.

I have never wanted to learn to drive, my family have offered to buy my provisional, to teach me etc but I really don't want to, I've never had any interest in learning to drive.
I ride my bike if I want to go somewhere local, I have a trailer for shopping, if oh is working I use public transport if it's not riding distance (more than 15 miles or I need to get there quickly)

For some reason everyone thinks I need to learn to drive next year, I've had 4 offers of provisional license for Christmas/birthday

SaucyJack yes it was directed at the OP. And why does the other person have to be her DH? What if something happened to him (illness/injury/they split up)? If her DH wasn't around then yes, she would have to reply on other people if she refused to learn to drive.

RELY on! Sorry for typo.

Why not accept the offer of lessons, and see how it feels to you?

Treat it like a course of horseriding lessons - you're not obliged to see it all the way through and buy a horse car, but it's a new experience and you can find out if you have any enjoyment for it? If you don't like it, you can tell people you had lessons and it wasn't for you, book closed.

I think it's completely your choice, OP. I didn't drive when I was a single parent with two young children - never had the time or money to learn. I caved into pressure when they were in their teens and I had a bit more cash, and I learned because I thought I should. But I always hated driving and used public transport whenever it was viable - which where I live, it usually is. After a few years I admitted that driving wasn't for me, and I'm much happier and better off without a car to worry about. Occasionally I'll get a taxi somewhere (without the costs of running a car I can afford it) but mostly I'm on public transport. For me, driving wasn't liberating or world-opening at all, it was simply a source of stress.

So I'd say if you're sure you don't want to learn, then don't learn. If you're not sure, and you're being offered driving lessons as a gift, then you may as well give it a go, and make an informed decision once you've learned.

My wife can drive but doesn't. We live in a semi-rural area. We don't find it a problem. We both work full time. I drive, or she uses public transport, walking, etc.

awesome My mum passed on her 4th attempt so I am ready for a challenge! (I think she is probably dyspraxic but she is undiagnosed.)

Well I want to chime in as another 35 yr old with kids who doesn't drive... I would manage just fine even if he didn't drive and there was a time he didn't, as far as long journeys go and fairness, I prefer the train and he chooses to drive (even if I could drive I can't imagine him as a passenger 😅) but all the emergency worries? What would you do if your car was at the garage or for whatever you had an emergency and your car wasn't an option? The traffic where we live is awful at times and its car after car with one person in... I think it's pretty sad that people think it's so terrible to get on a bus with your kids, sometimes it's 2 or a bus and a train but the journey can be as much fun as the day out imho!

"SaucyJack yes it was directed at the OP. And why does the other person have to be her DH? What if something happened to him (illness/injury/they split up)? If her DH wasn't around then yes, she would have to reply on other people if she refused to learn to drive."

Why don't you wait for that to happen before calling her names based on a hypothetical future situation that has no bearing on the reality of her and her husband's current domestic arrangements?

My mil couldn't drive and it was a pain in the arse as we always had to drive to see her....( no public transport nearby and she'd take a taxi to do the shopping!)
What happens when you're unable to visit kids when they're older and live somewhere without public transport?
Think of the offer of learning to drive as a future- proofing life skill

Of course you are completely entitled not to learn to drive because you do not fancy it.

However, if your decisions means other people have to miss out or cover for you then it is quite selfish. But I imagine your husband and children will tell you quite clearly if it becomes a problem for them.

Driving is a skill and not everyone has it. Not being able to drive doesnt make someone immature or childish. It means they dont have the set of skills needed to be able to drive.

After being in a relationship with a non-driver it was very much on my list of 'must haves' for my next partner.

Actually now I think about it the resentment of having to drive everywhere was certainly one of the things that added to the break up.

OMG! I don't drive, drink or smoke and I'm like a leper 2 most people! No one understands how I can survive without getting in a car to go to the shop at the end of my street, or how my kids got to school (less than 2 miles away). I've brought up 3 children on a combination of walking, buses, trains and taxis and they've been all over the place. I also never had the expense of a car,tax,insurance or parking and I've had friends that couldn't pay their bills, or buy enough food for their kids but payed out for the car that in their situation kept them poor! If you have a car and drive that's great, but don't diss people that either choose not to drive or can't afford to!!!!

I'm curious as to how it works when both partners drive but there's only one car? I could learn to drive (well, I can't right now, I need to get ADHD under control first), but it still wouldn't do me any good in the day because DP needs the car for work, so I'd still be using public transport with DD.

I intend to learn as soon as I'm able (or even just learn to ride a moped so I can at least do the little errands where we just need to nip out), but I'm just curious as to how driving is the solution to every problem?

Clandestino I enjoyed zoo being in capital letters. As though visiting the zoo is a basic human right and you are incredulous at the thought of being denied going.

No shouty capitals, just a habit of writing it like that.

For the "elderly" (I'll get my butt kicked now): my Mum learned to drive when she was almost 60. She loves the freedom now. Doesn't need it that much as she lives in a town with a very good public system but she loves hiking and treasures the fact that she doesn't have to rely on buses when she feels like spending her Saturday or Sunday in a forest.

If you have one car then the stay at home parent drops the other parent off at work, they then use the car in the day then pick up the other parent after work. It worked for me for a few years.

I think it completely depends on how much you are - or not - relying on others for lifts. If you live in an area with good public transport links then great. I chose not to drive for about 12 years because it was a real phobia for me, and then my DD was born and living in a country village I just couldn't manage well without a car. I hated driving at first but now I'm much happier and at ease with it, I couldn't do without my little car now. I don't think anyone has the right to judge you for not driving unless that choice is having an impact on others.

Buster surely that doesn't work in rural areas? DP works an hour away; that's four hours of driving a day for the SAHP (and presumably the child too).

I walk a lot. Live in a village so most things on hand. Except not everything. Some clubs you can't take part in fully.

It does give more options. your situation now may not remain as it is in the future.

I used to drive but don't any more. I don't want to.
I have never regretted it. I cycle and use public transport and walk a lot.
I get lots of exercise by not having a car.
My DP drives but I don't rely on him for lifts either.

I would, just as an insurance policy. I hardly drove for years as MrNC likes driving and had a lot more experience, and I navigated. Recently he's been unable to drive for a month and the fact that I can do it has been incredibly helpful. Also ended up being able to get to a funeral and help the bereaved get from A to B.

If you live in a city, it's not necessary but could help make others' lives easier.

We managed with one car when my husband could walk to work, we also lived walking distance to the train station which helped. I need a car for my job (essential on job description so necessary).This was pre children. We now live in a village, it is only 7 miles away from my husband's job but no direct bus so a 20 minute drive would take over an hour on the bus. We'd rather he had that extra time at home with the family and he wouldn't be able to do any nursery runs if on the bus due to timings which makes it difficult when I have meetings out of county.

I'd ask about emergencies? If something happened (not bad enough for an ambulance) and you needed to get either yourself or children/DH to hospital?
Either it is an emergency, in which you call an Ambulance (which will come with trained medical professionals); or it isn't, in which case you shouldn't be going to A&E anyway.
As many have said, unless you live in a rural environment with no public transport, you can get by and use the £1000s it costs to run a car on taxis as needed.

Queen I don't know anyone who can't drive so nobody has had to give me a reason. It's not my business or concern why a person can't drive. Calm your farm.

I learned to drive in my late thirties, and have always enjoyed it.

But for me, it has only become really useful (vital?) since I became a grandparent.

Whereas you can choose to live centrally, you cannot choose where your grandchildren live. Ours live only 10 miles away, but it is inaccessible by public transport.

We do a lot with them and for them, and it would be impossible without a car. We would see them far less (and be much less helpful to their parents) if we couldn't drive.

OP could be a grandparent by the time she is 50 and might then wish she had learned when she was younger.