Inappropriate tv at Inlaws

[Zippyette]

Whilst I was at in laws on Sunday a dead body was on the TV screen whilst my FIL watched beregerac. I said at the time it wasnt appropriate for my 3 yo daughter but FIL just responded by saying 'she doesn't look very well' to his granddaughter. I was fuming so we left soon after.
I've said to my husband that we should say something to his parents before we visit next time such as ' can you make sure you're not watching an adult programme next time we visit?' (Or something similar -ideas?!) But he thinks we should ask them to turn the telly off or over if it happens again as he doesn't want to upset them. I'm saying I'm being proactive as they're still going to get upset and feel he's putting his parents feelings before our need to protect our child. He disagrees.

So now I gave two choices - either phone them up and say something - potentially upsetting them (which I've already done when I turned the telly over to cbbc bedtime when we were visiting over the summer as it was near bedtime and I wanted something calming) or go along with my husband.
What would you do?

I think that it's rude to sit watching telly when you have visitors, but if they insist-couldn't you find something else to do with your daughter?

I mean you weren't all just sitting there watching Bergerac were you?

Christ I thought this was going to relate to porn or something

I loved Bergerac when I was littłe.

Bergerac! Takes me right back

Hahahahahah! Good one OP

My mum wanted to show my then 6 year old dd watership down!!!! :O that beats a bit of Nettles!

I'd be more bothered by the heinous excuse for acting.

Nice try. It actually gave me a small giggle- image demanding the remote at someone else's house, so your darling sensitive child can be soothed by Mr Tumble . Give me Bergerac any day, far less traumatising!

On god OP I agree, I couldn't even let my DD watch Corrie knowing Callum was under the annex! Then Kylie got killed.... I just leave the TV on Tiny Pop or videos of kittens.

(Sarcasm?.... Not me sir, no not ever)

I doubt she will be emotionally scarred by Bergerac.

Brings to mind the time I was 13 and babysitting my 3 year old sister, I had put her to bed then stuck a horror film in the VCR. Of course she had to come downstairs for a glass of water at the exact point the main character was peeling the skin off his face. It terrified her and I had to have her in my bed to settle her. She grew up OK though and went into forensic scenes of crimes work...

Did you ask before switching to cbbc?

You sound delightful

Personally I'd have no issue with a dead body on daytime TV - chances are it won't be too graphic. However I don't think YABU to ask them to switch it over - I think you should ask as and when though, rather than beforehand unless it happens often.

Re the Cbeebies thing - I find this somewhat rude if you are switching over their TV because of what you want your DD to watch.

...... is this real?

Goodness I used to watch 'murder she wrote' at that age! Whole episodes! I loved it!
They're acting. It's not like that show has particularly violent, gruesome or horriffic looking dead bodies!

but it wasn't a dead body was it? It was someone laying still and holding their breath.

We were allowed to stay up late to watch Beregerac when we were kids. I don't think it's done me any harm!

I doubt at 3 she even realised what it was - why was she watching Bergerac in the first place??

Bergerac sorry but hahahahaha ...

Not a helpful comment I know

My father always had the TV on in the background when we visited, whether he was watching it or not - he was lonely and it was company. All manner of odd Sky channels showing murder mystery type things. I never really bothered about it to be honest, my boys tended to be busy playing with the toy kitchen or looking at the books rather than staring at the screen.

I probably wouldn't have bothered mentioning it at all unless your DD pointed to the dead body and said "what's that?" - in which case I might have said something along the lines of "someone playing a pretending game". I certainly wouldn't ring and berate the ILs after the event!

What would I do?
Try harder to understand that the world doesn't revolve around my dd.

YANBU.

Despite people saying it's being 'precious', there's nothing wrong with wanting to shelter very young children/toddlers from upsetting things.

They are so easily upset at this age and things they see one time can stick with them and cause nightmares/anxiety for years. I have some fears/phobias that go all the way back to childhood, I have no idea what the root cause was but I do wonder if I saw something inappropriate on TV at some point that caused me to have such persistent fears that have stayed with me for my entire life.

My 2 year old has an extremely tame copy of Little Red Riding hood which peaks with the big bad wolf shutting grandma in a cupboard. And yet DS still gets a bit scared about a big bad wolf coming to get him! And one time I put on the BBC documentary Human Planet thinking that would be completely harmless, it had some tribal people who live in the rainforest and have 'scary' looking facial decorations involving big spikes... I even had to turn that off!

There is plenty of time for them to see unsettling images when they're older. So I kind of agree with OP. The only thing is I'd probably feel a bit silly asking a relative to turn their TV off if it was something as harmless as Bergerac, so I would probably just try to distract DC with another activity. Obviously if it was a horror movie or something violent I'd say something.

Yikes. You need to get a grip.

Better make sure she never watches Bambi