I'm being very unreasonable but

[Unicorncatsack]

I'm on a Facebook mum's group and people KEEP misspelling "choking" as "chocking". WHY?!?! This spelling mistake doesn't even make sense.

You get a whole post spelled completely correctly and then - "chocking/chocked/chock"

It's giving me the rage.

I saw someone describing an annoying colleague as a "pre-Madonna" on Facebook once!
Nip it in the butt is another one.

Gardening leave instead of garden leave (I'm an employment lawyer - that makes my teeth itch).

What about 'carnt' instead of can't, or 'loverly' for lovely.
I can't be the only person who's ever encountered this?

I thought gardening leave was correct for a kind of suspension / keep out of the workplace and go and do some gardening instead. Is it not?

emma I live just outside Betws and I've seen thay wine rack!.... I blame it one Betws being prodominently 1st language Welsh

My friend thought chest of drawers was Chester Draws
Loosing instead of losing annoys me! Also brought in stead of bought... you didn't bry anything so why would the past tense be brought?

Are instead of Our gives me the rage. I mean how can you get such a basic word so fucking wrong?

making memories with are lovely family

FFS.

Pfb had a supply teacher in Y1 who taught the class to make plurals with apostrophes. This came out the following term when the teacher got them to do posters in class about the different ways of forming plurals (expecting "add s" "if it ends in s already add es" etc) and they all dutifully wrote "add 's".

It's cunty to correct someone's spelling when they're in urgent or desperate need of other kinds of support (like when someone clearly needs to call 999 on her violent husband and someone complains that she hasn't used paragraphs).

I'm the person people give stuff to for proofing. Presumably I've found a sufficiently nice way to go about doing so.

Unicorn It's:
Perhaps read what I have wrote

I write loverly sometimes as that's how I'm saying it and its daft

But yes 'are' instead of 'our' is another one that gets to me.

It's definitely defiantly garden leave mitzimaybe but it's so common to see it used incorrectly - even my boss does it!

Brought = bought

Mitzi, it can be either garden leave or gardening leave, and according to Wikipedia, it "originated in the British Civil Service where employees had the right to request special leave for exceptional purposes. "Gardening leave" became a euphemism for "suspended" as an employee who was formally suspended pending an investigation into their conduct would often request to be out of the office on special leave instead."
So it's been contracted to garden leave by some people, but gardening leave was its original form and most defiantly see what I did there? not incorrect.

Loving this thread! And hating it too.

I have a friend who uses guttered instead of gutted every time (and she uses it frequently!)

I also hate try and instead of try to.
Myself instead of me.
Sat instead of sitting, stood instead of standing, etc

Loved sweaty though

OMG, just got the "Prima Donna" one

There's a hairdressing salon near me with an advert for hair extentions. As I live in Wales, I did wonder if it was the Welsh spelling for extensions, but google says no, hair extensions in Welsh is estyniadau gwallt

Teach/learn.

Lend/borrow.

The well-known EDL sign "Sport Are Troops" always makes me laugh. Somehow in their eyes patriotism doesn't equate with having any respect for the English language.

Anyone in need of some 'rest bite'? Love that one.

I'm baffled by this one, regularly used by someone I know:

'I'll need picked up later'
'The washing needs dried'
'It needs gone by tonight'

Where does this odd past tense for something that will happen now or in the future come from? It makes no sense!

SpaceUnicorn That one seems more like a linguistic foible than a written grammatical error. It sounds like that person is writing how they talk? It's not an unfamiliar construction to me, as it happens. :)

OnceThere, I don't know if that was me, but that is a really easy mistake to make if you change your mind half-way through writing it, sort of like this headline: www.theguardian.com/media/mediamonkeyblog/2009/sep/01/express-ant-dec-headline-error

SpaceUnicorn, I think that is possibly Scots as well. That is what people say where I am from in NI.

It actually makes no less sense than 'The washing needs drying' etc., but because that is more common and familiar in England, people find it more acceptable.

Also:

I layed down
I'm layed on my bed
I led on my bed

I'm just getting more angry now.

SpaceUnicorn, aren't the words "to be" missing in front of the verb in all your examples, which would make phrases future, in that case?

I'm sure I've said it before, but I do find it really difficult to understand misspellings and misused homophones. I have a very visual memory, so words like 'they're' and 'there' are kind of stored separately, the fact that they sound the same doesn't really occur to me because they're different words! As for 'almost' homophones (accept/except, our/are) I have no hope of understanding it on the first try.

I mean 'Sport Are Troops'- I was trying to work out whether 'sport' could be used as a verb (as in to make sporty). Then realised a verb wouldn't make sense with 'are' so maybe 'sport' was being used as shorthand for sporty people. It was quite a while before I twigged it was supposed to be 'support our troops' and I think that's only because it was on a thread about misspellings and grammatical errors such as are/our!