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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To want to hear something nice about MILs?

153 replies

GinIsIn · 16/10/2016 07:48

This isn't a TAAT, but inspired by a spate of recent threads with depressing attitudes from other posters, whose PILS aren't welcome even for an hour on Christmas Day, or to stay overnight just once for their DGC's birthday- what nice things have your PILs done?

We have DC1 on the way, and MIL kept all of DH's children's books from when he was little, plus added all the best new ones for us so that the baby will hopefully love books as much as I do.

I am sure I'm not the only one with a nice MIL, even if she is a bit bonkers sometimes!

OP posts:

BowieFan · 16/10/2016 13:05

My MIL is amazing, I get on with her like a house on fire. She is absolutely devoted to our DCs and once drove me 8 hours on Christmas eve when DP had been in accident and I was too upset to drive.

She is always doing lovely thoughtful things like if I have to work late, she will run me a bath and have a nice hot meal ready for when I get home and she'll do things like pick me up a gift (for no reason) just because I mentioned I liked something when I was last with her.

I always wonder if it's because the daughter she had died as an infant, but she is a very lovely person anyway, as is my FIL. The best thing though is both sets of parents get on brilliantly with each other and DP loves my parents as well. Both parents get on brilliantly with DC's grandparents (they're adopted) as well, which is lovely.

VanellopeVonSchweetz99 · 16/10/2016 13:12

My MIL is one of the kindest, gentlest and cleverest people I have ever met. She is getting older fast however and we have to remind her to be present in a room, focus on the kids instead of faffing or zoning out. The kids love, love, love her cuddles and when she sings to them.

BowieFan · 16/10/2016 13:14

Adding to what I just said, she is absolutely bonkers, which I love. I distinctly remember her once giving us a cake which had her cordless phone in the middle of it. How it got there, I don't even know.

I was worried she was losing it but DP said "Oh no, she's always been like this. She was cooking something once when I was a kid and didn't realise she'd left the cooker on until the kitchen burned down when she was watching the telly"

Mental. But lovely.

neolara · 16/10/2016 13:15

Mine is lovely. She is generous with her live, time and resources. She is unfailing supportive and kind. I am very lucky.

53rdAndBird · 16/10/2016 13:16

Mine is absolutely lovely. She's kind and supportive and has been wonderfully welcoming to me as part of her family. I love watching how much she and DD adore each other, as well.

footballwidow12 · 16/10/2016 13:20

My PIL are lovely.....they are very generous and they adore our DD. They just do things differently than my family and it does annoy me at times. That being said all in all they aren't too bad

Cococrumble · 16/10/2016 13:21

Mine is fantastic. I love sitting with her having a glass of wine and a chat. I can't wait for DC to arrive in a few weeks as they will be the first baby in the family since DH and I'm excited to see their relationship

crazywriter · 16/10/2016 13:38

Mine is bonkers but in a good way. She wasn't entirely happy about DD1 thinking we were too young but she was there for us when I started showing serious signs of PND and took time off work to stay with us. Both PILs have helped us move each time (and we move a lot) and helped me when DH and I were going through problems (they didn't like what he was doing and let me stay one night while we figured it out). I get on really well with siblings IL too but they are still in school (big age gap). Don't see them often now with moving out of the country but they keep in touch with us to find out how were doing.

PigeonPieAndMash · 16/10/2016 15:52

I have a great mother in-law. She doesn't see our dd as much as I'd like, (or she'd like for that matter!), but she's a brilliant grandmother and is extremely generous and selfless.

PigeonPieAndMash · 16/10/2016 15:54

She paid for our honeymoon and had time off work to look after our dd so we could go on it

Crunchymum · 16/10/2016 16:18

Mine is an absolute star and I'm very lucky. She is a mother of 6, a retired nurse and looks after our kids on a regular basis (sometimes providing free child care)

She is calm, patient, non judgemental, has never interfered or given an opinion but has aways been on hand to help, support and give advice when asked.

My kids adore her, I adore her.

NorfolkEnchance · 16/10/2016 17:26

My step-MIL is fabulous. She's amazing with the children, takes them out for the day, buys little gifts that she thinks they will like. She is kind-hearted, friendly and funny.

won't mention other MIL on this thread

Buttercupsandaisies · 16/10/2016 17:36

Mine are fab. Initially when my DDs were born, I tried to balance things so both gps saw the kids equally and it would stress me out if I saw the inlaws getting too close. I've now come to terms with the fact that my inlaws enjoy my kids much more than my parents and give up more time for them. As such I feel more relaxed in turn. They deserve the closer relationship they have with my kids - they genuinely try to help with anything

Most issues are due to battles and jealousy over power which can be so unfair on the inlaws.

MyBreadIsEggy · 16/10/2016 17:41

My MIL kept all of DH's books from when he was little too and gave them to us for DD a few weeks ago
She's also an incredible cook normally you pop round someone's house for a visit and expect maybe a cup of tea and a biscuit....you go to MIL's and get presented with a 2 course, home-cooked from scratch, authentic Thai meal definitely a bonus to having married into a different culture!!

SpecialStains · 16/10/2016 17:44

Mine is lovely, but so scatty. She raised my DH who is a lovely kind person, and loves my DS. Dh is close to his Mum, and I hope my DS will be with me. She does annoy me occasionally, but I probably annoy her too!

NicknameUsed · 16/10/2016 17:47

My MIL made me feel welcome from day one. I have been part of the family for over 35 years now.

Sadly, she now has alzheimers and is in hospital after having two mini strokes on consecutive days.

AliceThrewTheFookingGlass · 16/10/2016 17:48

When I was pregnant with my first child MIL offered to drive the 5 hour round trip to come to my first scan with me because DP couldn't get out of work. When our son was born she insisted we stay with her for a week, not so she could take over with the baby but so she could take care of me and cook for me while I recovered properly.

My own mum didn't (and still doesn't) give a flying fuck about me or my kids so these two gestures in particular mean so much to me.

RebelandaStunner · 16/10/2016 17:50

Mine is lovely. She is very kind and caring. She helped me a lot when I had to go into hospital last year. She also has helped us over a difficult phase with DD.
When I bought my last car she paid half!
I'm very lucky compared to some people. DH said she and his ex didn't get on at all.

monsterbookofty · 16/10/2016 17:53

Mine is lovely. We went through a few years where we didn't get along but its fine now I have had children.

Minisoksmakehardwork · 16/10/2016 17:59

Mine does our ironing. She actually enjoys ironing! Very strange woman . Whilst we do a lot of running around for them as she and fil don't drive, and rely on dh and bil to sort things out, it never feels like a chore and she is genuinely a lovely person. I hope to be like her when my sons bring home girlfriends.

My parents are lovely too, don't get me wrong. But the inlaws show concern, compassion and don't judge anything.

LittleWingSoul · 16/10/2016 18:02

My MIL treats me like her own daughter despite DH being one of 6, all of which have husbands/wives - she spoils us all rotten and will travel 60 miles from where she lives to babysit for us on her days off despite having a full on schedule and working as a nurse.

After my c-sec with DS2 she physically held me up when I broke down in agony and pulled my stitches out for me when I couldn't wait for the MW visit.

She pulled out all the stops for our very homemade wedding - mucking in with everything, making a special pin for my garter, doing all the flowers and my floral crown without letting me pay (they'd already funded the wedding!!!) and making about 50 paper tissue pom poms to decorate the hall with.

She (and all of DHs amazing family) welcomed me and DD1 (from previous relationship) into their family from day 1, no questions asked.

I trust her and love her and am incredibly blessed to have her as my MIL. She is mother to so many and her love isn't spread thinly!

Pashazade · 16/10/2016 18:10

My MIL is awesome and one of my best friends. I have been very lucky to find a second mum as my own died when I was fourteen. She was there when ds was born and our friendship has just got deeper since I became a mother too. We have lots of common interests and I just wish we lived closer. She is brilliant. (Probably helps that father and son are quite alike so I get where she's coming from when FIL winds her up!)

BowieFan · 16/10/2016 18:18

Just remembered how much I love visiting MIL. I remember once having a power cut (the whole village) and we went to theirs. In half an hour (and without power) she'd managed to make soup, three varieties of sandwiches, salad, pasta and a flan for dessert. The woman is amazing.

madamginger · 16/10/2016 18:20

I love my mil, it took us a long time to settle into our relationship, DH is an only child and she had a hard time letting him go but nearly 20 years later we have a lovely relationship. she still drives me mad sometimes
She adores our DC and will drop everything if we need help with them. My fil has terminal cancer and I feel desperately sad that they won't have their retirement together (they are both 60)

Jemimapuddleduk · 16/10/2016 18:23

I have wonderful parents and in laws. We get loads of help with the children and dog. Most of our holidays are with one set or the other.

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