To want to hear something nice about MILs?

[GinIsIn]

This isn't a TAAT, but inspired by a spate of recent threads with depressing attitudes from other posters, whose PILS aren't welcome even for an hour on Christmas Day, or to stay overnight just once for their DGC's birthday- what nice things have your PILs done?

We have DC1 on the way, and MIL kept all of DH's children's books from when he was little, plus added all the best new ones for us so that the baby will hopefully love books as much as I do.

I am sure I'm not the only one with a nice MIL, even if she is a bit bonkers sometimes!

Mine is not lovely IMO, but is lovely to my children and of course my husband was raised beautifully etc etc - my point is, I am always absolutely polite and kind to her. No matter what she does that irks me, I wouldn't have my husband or children without her, I haven't lived her very hard life, and she deserves all of my respect. It's not about being a pushover, and I wouldn't let her undermine me with my kids, but ultimately I know what I'm doing and have confidence in myself so I don't fear her. I don't NEED to shut her out. I don't get these mean threads either, there's no way I'd treat my MIL in this way - and I'd find it particularly cruel to my husband. I think it's really immature and controlling, usually coming from a very insecure place, I can't stand that whole thing of the op's family being overly close and being involved in every little thing, but the partner's family are begrudged any little spec of kindness. Where's the balance? I do wonder how long these relationships will last when one side has to see their family marginalised, surely that would build resentment? And no, before anyone gets cross, I'm not suggesting a MIL that is dangerous or really nasty be given free reign to pop in 24/7. But someone getting on your nerves is not enough to isolate them from what is actually their family too.

Mine is lovely.

Intelligent, kind, considerate, compassionate, interested. She is a nice person. She raised a nice son!

Many years ago DH and I hit a rough rough patch due to health issues and stress. Fleetingly I worried that out relationship might breakdown and I found myself genuinely sad that that would mean not only loosing him but also his family!

My MIL is awesome. Kind. Generous. Always there when you need her. When I met dh I had two sons aged 1 and 2 from my previous marriage. My MIL and her partner have treated them as their grandchildren from day one. They will literally do anything for them. MIL proudly shows their photos to anyone and everyone and i should mention that she is white and they are African. If anyone questions it she says it's a throwback dh and I have now been together 10 years and have a little girl. Her best friend is her nanny. My mum died and then we moved to live very close to MIL. she helps us out no end with cleaning childcare gifts etc I in turn plan girly days for us whenever I can. Not that I agree with everything she does and vice versa but relationships are what you make them. Looking forward to having her on Xmas day too

Mine is wonderful. Really funny and easy to get along with. She loves our DD and will frequently get up at 5am on her one weekday off to drive for an hour to take our DD for the day (no childcare issues- we have a reliable and fantastic childminder) she does it because she wants to spend time.with her granddaughter. Now DD is 2 she has started to take her for whole weekends which is wonderful. Plus she is really relaxed and non-stressy about contact so we have happily gone to theirs for the whole day at Christmas before but last year we didnt see them at all on the day and there was no guilt tripping, sulking or anything (there was with my parents!)
I think it ultimately because she is happy and content and therefore we are a happy (frequent) addition to her life rather than being the centre of it.

Oh and she buys me chocolate whenever we stay at her house. :p

Mine are lovely too. Extremely thoughtful, very kind and caring. But very discrete - they keep their opinions to themselves (unlike my parents, who make their opinions known - this is fine too, DH says it doesn't bother him at all. He knows that if I show my mum pictures of a new bathroom we are planning, my mum and dad will give their opinions no holds barred whereas his parents will not!!) Anyway, they are lovely people. But I am also a lovely DIL (!)

Oh, and I forgot to say, my MIL has treated me the same as her actual daughter ever since welcoming me into the family. We have the same spent on us for Christmas and birthdays etc and she does the same for her SIL and my DH. She is wonderfully inclusive and family orientated. I really am very lucky.

My MIL is brilliant, I'm ever so lucky.

She adores her DGC and babysits quite frequently, often suggesting she has them just so DH and I can have an evening out.

She's kind and generous and picks up little gifts for the DC if she sees something she knows they'll like.

She gave me a £100 gift card for my birthday and when I protested that it was too much and she mustn't spend so much on me she looked genuinely surprised and said 'but you're the daughter I never had!'

She's lovely.

Mine is lovely too, I read some of the threads on here and I consider myself very lucky.
I won't pretend we haven't had our ups and downs but I love her for her devotion to my children. They have a wonderful relationship and my kids have benefitted massively from the time and attention they have received.
My Mil has never judged or commented on my parenting and is completely blind to any faults of my children as for her just like for me they are perfect the way they are.

My MIL sadly passed away very suddenly and unexpectedly almost a year ago.

I miss her so much it's like a physical pain sometimes. In a lot of respects she "got" me more than my own DM (who I also love dearly). It's so desperately sad that she won't see her grandchildren grow up.

She was always jokingly ad that she hadn't had dark haired children/grandchildren in spite of having dark hair herself - I also have dark hair. One day she was sat looking at me, smiling, and said "I always wanted a dark haired daughter... now I've got one."

God, I miss her.

I haven't read the rest of the thread but fenella please come back to us when baby is here. My mil sounds like yours before baby -- a grandchild can make them insane and I hate her now.

Mine is as close to me as my own mum. My husband and I are expecting our first and she is so kind and caring when I'm worried, she rushed to A&E to meet me when my husband couldn't when I had sharp, stabbing pains and sat with me for hours just for company and comfort. She is considerate, has already offered to take the baby for a few days once born so that I can return to work if I want to, she has said that she will pop over every few days to help me keep up with housework, she and my FIL helped me and my husband move, and she had me supervising and making coffee for most of the day, and not really doing anything. These are only a few recent examples of how fab she is. She's a total diamond, one in a million and I don't know what I'd do without her and my FIL.

I am really fond of MIL. She isn't perfect and does things sometimes that make dh and I go but she largely means well and dotes on dd. We invite everyone for Christmas, mostly because there's so much divorce in our families and we are the difficult children so it amuses us to make them all play happy families

I am sure that fenella will be even more appreciative once her baby has arrived! If you have a good relationship there is no reason that it should change.
The advantage of a MIL is that they meet you as an adult and treat you like an adult. I love my mother to bits but she is able to get away with the sort of unsolicited advice that MIL wouldn't try and give. (And I wish mother wouldn't give!)

My late MIL was a diamond. Her and SFIL lived in another country but wrote letters/ phoned regularly, also sending surprise gifts for dc. Visits to them ( yearly) were so good I never wanted to come home. She was an amazing grandma and mum but always found time for me and was genuinely interested in me/ my life.
Alzheimer's took her in the end, but I have a lovely memory of sitting in her care home holding hands having a walk down memory lane about our wedding.

MIL and I had a bit of a shaky start as she is a very different character to me with different tastes, but now I genuinely do enjoy her company. On our wedding day she told me that she couldn't be happier that I was marrying her son, which meant a lot. She's great with our DD's and will look after them whenever we ask (not that often). As our nearest relatives 80 miles away I'm going to be quite gutted if/when PIL emigrate as planned.

My mil is brilliant. I had a difficult childhood and the kindness, gentleness and acceptance I get from her is what I have craved all my life.

She a great listener, has a dry sense of humour, loves children and the only thing I would change is where she lives so we could be nearer. I'd have her next door if I could.

I loved mine, she never interfered or judged, if she did, she didn't show it. Sadly she had vascular dementia for the last ten years of her life so couldn't be relied on for childcare but she took great pleasure in her grandchildren. I miss her.

I like mine. She's very kind and has been really helpful with the kids.

I'm sure there are plenty of lovely, amazing MIL's out there. Hardly surprising that on AIBU you mostly hear about the difficult ones as all the people who have no issues with their PIL's and just rub along nicely with them simply won't feel the need to start a thread. I find it very difficult to like or respect my in laws (due to their treatment of my DH) but that doesn't mean I think all MIL's are evil and I've enjoyed reading all the lovely responses on this thread.

My MIL is one of my favourite people. We both share a (dirty) sense of humour, other than that we have completely different personalities but we fit together very well.

My mil is an awesome lady
She's was an older parent but is very fit and active for her age
She forgets things sometimes and when she has dc for a day if it's school hols the house may be a tip when we get home but the kids have always had a fab time
She's having the dc for a long weekend so we can go away soon and she'll stay at ours with them as it's easier for her

The life skills she teaches my dc I couldn't like sewing stitching and different ways to do things and they love when she tells them about when she was little.
In my estimation a good grandparent is irreplaceable and invaluable. I learnt a lot from my grandparents and I think it's mega important for dc to have a good relationship with them.
She also is the most unopinionated person I've met and I can say anything to her and she wouldn't judge but would try to help.
I am lucky as I have friends with awful pils

My MIL and I are very different people and she and DH are as well meaning they've often had quite a tricky relationship. I've done everything I can to support him in understanding her better and to strengthen their bond. I'm also working hard to ensure she has lots of time with my two small DC. I think it's really important that they have their own relationships with loving adults who aren't DH and I.

In return she's respectful of my parenting, very generous and thoughtful with her time and gifts for the kids and is generally turning out to be an excellent Granny.

I have a great MIL. She has seven children and is wonderful with children. She travels two hours once a week to visit my children even though she's in her 70s. We just took her on holiday and it was great. I wouldn't do that with my mother and she doesn't bother that much with my kids.

I used to find mine very difficult but the moment I told her I was pregnant she changed for the better. She has DS 2 1/2 days a week while I work. Amazing with him. Has him overnight at the drop of hat if needed. We're all levels going to America next year for 2 weeks together!

If anything I get on better with her than DH does!

I'd be lost without my mother in law. She's wonderful. I don't live near my family so I'm lucky to have her. She is kind, thoughtful and a great grandmother to our dd. Picks her up from nursery when we are at work feeds her, puts her to bed. My dd adores her. We a due another one soon by csection and I know she will be here every day helping.