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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To pay for DCS Men B vaccine from their savings?

78 replies

Afo · 15/10/2016 00:25

My first AIBU. On maternity leave with DC3 at present so money is tighter than usual. We've cut back on spending but I do save £50/month each for the 2 older DC. I have booked for them to have the Meningitis B vaccine during the week, having been on the waiting list for a number of months. I just don't have the spare cash at present (£400). I was telling my Ddad today that we were going to get them and he asked the cost, and in passing told him I had to go to bank in person first to withdraw the funds from the DCS accounts. He made it clear he thought I was BU for going ahead with the jabs when we couldn't pay for them out of our own pocket and that at their ages (5 and 2) they wouldn't be at that much risk and that I was mad for dipping into their savings this way!! I was a bit put out tbh but said nothing but of course I've been feeling guilty all evening. I didnt have plans to put the money back btw.

OP posts:
Enidblyton1 · 15/10/2016 00:37

Ah I feel your pain! I have same aged children and was also wondering about paying for that jab.

I certainly don't think you should feel guilty about paying for it out of the DCs savings. They are savings which you created in the first place! Try to ignore your Dad - his comments are not helpful!

Nzou1050 · 15/10/2016 00:38

YANBU at all. In my opinion it's the right decision. Is your Dad suggesting you leave the money in the bank and don't get the vaccinations? Imagine if you did that then one of them got ill (unlikely I know) but if the money's there this is an important thing to use it for I would say. Is the money in their savings all money you paid in or is your dad objecting because it's come from him/other relatives?

WorraLiberty · 15/10/2016 00:38

Well it's not actually there money is it? It's your money that you've put aside for them.

Plenty of children manage to grow up perfectly normally without having adults in their lives, who are in the fortunate position of being able to put money aside for them.

So spend your money as you see fit.

dementedpixie · 15/10/2016 00:44

I just don't know why you'd give it at that age. It's relatively new on the child immunisation list so plenty of babies/children have coped without it (including my own)

badg3r · 15/10/2016 00:44

What does your dad think the money would be better spent on? Health is so important. Yes the risk is tiny, but I could never forgive myself if the worst happened and I knew I could have afforded the vaccine in the way you suggest but decided against it. You are spending money saved for them on them. It's not like you're emptying their accounts to go get a manicure she cuts be blow dry Wink

Original poster
Afo · 15/10/2016 00:46

Yes Nzou it's just an account I set up for them with a stranding order every month so 100% only added to my myself and DH! He wasn't objecting as such but suggesting exactly that ww just shouldnt bother getting them. It's just he's always been a bit tight I suppose and thinks the risks of them getting ill with this is so low. He's no doctor by the way!

I told him nicely a small savings account won't go far if they end up disabled or dead from something that could have been preventable!

OP posts:
ladyjadey · 15/10/2016 00:48

It's hardly like you are spending their (your) money on a handbag. if it is in their best interests in your opinion do it. Guilt free.

Original poster
Afo · 15/10/2016 00:51

Plenty have coped without it pixie of course but you could argue that about any vaccine surely? Through my job I have seen first hand some of the devastating effects of meningitis. Yes the risk is low, but for me and for them it's the right decision. (Maybe I won't agree when I'm up in the night with the 2 year old who refuses paracetamol post vaccine!)

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 15/10/2016 00:54

I still wouldn't do it tbh. The peak age is apparently 5 months old which both your dcs have passed

FabFiveFreddie · 15/10/2016 00:55

I'd do exactly the same thing as you.

WorraLiberty · 15/10/2016 01:02

So it's an account that only you and your DC's father have paid into (therefore not your Dad's money).

You say, through your job you have seen first hand some of the devastating effects of meningitis.

You say for you and for them it's the right decision.

Why are you asking if YABU?

You and your DP are the parents here. You don't need anyone's approval...not your Dad's or Mumsnet's.

Original poster
Afo · 15/10/2016 01:07

Because Worra once he left me thinking about it I began to feel guilty. I meant the decision to vaccinate was the right decision ...The AIBU was regarding the savings not the actual vaccinations sorry if that wasn't clear.

OP posts:
melibu84 · 15/10/2016 01:21

Go for it. If I was in your position, I would do the same!

Peanutandphoenix · 15/10/2016 02:00

If your using their money for a vaccine that every other child has managed to survive without then I think you should put the money back because that money your saving up for them could be used for uni or even driving lessons when they are older. Give them the vaccines if you want to but put the £400 back. Maybe you shouldn't of booked for them to have the vaccines if you knew that you couldn't afford it maybe it would've been a better idea to wait until you could afford it.

sycamore54321 · 15/10/2016 02:16

Some crazy posts here - and how crassly and horrifyingly insensitive. Vaccines that "every other child survived without" - except of course those that didn't, or those that survived but have lifelong disabilities, don't they count? This is one of the most offensive things I have ever read on Mumsnet. Posters should be ashamed of themselves.

OP, I think there is absolutely no issue investing some of your children's savings in their health and wellbeing in such a practical and caring way. I would say this even if the savings account were gifted to them by a third party. It is your choice as parents to do what you believe is in the best interest of your child. In this case, the fact that 'their' savings account are in reality money you have saved yourself removes any possibility of doubt that spending the savings account money in this way is wrong.

judybloomno5 · 15/10/2016 02:22

Get the vaccine. It's only money nobody ever says that about health

YouCanDoThis · 15/10/2016 03:26

You could reason that whilst you were on the waiting list, you have been placing money aside for the vaccine in the accounts for safe keeping. Normal savings can resume after the vaccines have been paid for. Smile

milkshakeandmonstermunch · 15/10/2016 04:51

We've had DD vaccinated privately. 2 doses at £150 each. Ouch. Thankfully we didn't have to dip into savings but those months were tighter than usual. Yes, she may have been fine without it but she may not have so a few hundred pounds for my child's health and our peace of mind is nothing and I'd have dipped into savings if I'd had to. YANBU! Driving lessons?? Really?? You can always replace the money OP but you don't have to.

GinIsIn · 15/10/2016 05:37

People think DRIVING LESSONS are more important than being protected against meningitis?!?! Well what the actual fuck....

YANBU at all OP. Please do this - my best friend had meningitis at 3, and lost her hearing and her toes - it's so important!

user1476140278 · 15/10/2016 05:44

If your'e putting 100 per month away for two children and now there's another...that's going to mean either cutting down what you're saving for the older 2 or adding another 50 for the younger.

If you can't afford vaccinations but you're saving money for the DC...it's obvious that you can't afford to save as much as you've been saving.

Take the money for the vaccinations and reduce the savings.

GreatFuckability · 15/10/2016 05:48

its your money that you've put into an account. Frankly, if you wanted to take the money out and spend it on strippers and crack cocaine, that's entirely your prerogative.

Scrumptiousbears · 15/10/2016 06:14

If its playing on your mind that much then use the money but vow to pay it back when you go back to work.

We also paid for this jab for our 2 year old. The advice we were given was "it's rare but if your child gets it then it's one of the nastier strains and life changing if not fatal". We thought beat not risk it and as our 6 month old was offered it we wanted them to be the same. They also have had the BCG which isn't routinely offered these days which is a nothing story.

manhowdy · 15/10/2016 06:16

Anothering one LOLing at driving lessons vs. a potentially life saving vaccine.

Go for it OP. The fact that other people's children haven't caught Men B is great but yours might be one of the unlucky ones. If the money's there then i'd say it would be well spent protecting them.

Bagina · 15/10/2016 06:42

Be happy to spend your money on the vaccines. Ours had half theirs as Xmas pressies last year and half on credit card. There's no regrets.

whatlifestylechoice · 15/10/2016 06:53

I would spend the money on the vaccine without hesitation.

Driving lessons are not going to be much use to them if they're dead or severely disabled from meningitis, are they?