just yelled at a school bully outside my house. AIBU?

[MontePulciana]

Bully was on a bike, clearly not hers. Victim was trying to retrieve bike, all I could hear was "you're gonna ruin the handle bars". Another boy joined her pulling bike away from boy. This was right outside my house. I hate school bullies with a passion so decided to go out and "have a word". Admittedly I was a bit confrontational. I asked who the bike belonged to, what was she doing to it and then to get off it. She was pretty taken aback and made off swiftly. DH thinks bullies should be dealt with by the victim only and thinks I've put my foot in it. They were about 14. AIBU?

No- he got his bike back before it was ruined.

If my child was being tormented, I'd like somebody to step in. That way, when my child is older, he or she will do what's right when they see someone else being treated unfairly, instead of turning the other cheek.

DH thinks bullies should be dealt with by the victim only

Why on Earth does he think that? The school should never intervene, patents should never ever intervene, other children should never intervene? Really? Ludicrous.

You did the right thing.

Often the victim is not able to stand up to their bullies.

You were correct to act. Victims are chosen because for one reason or another they are perceived as less powerful. Suggesting that only the victim can act therefore ensures they get screwed over, feel alone, etc.

Bullies need to see that others are watching too.

Of course you did the right thing - the whole point about bullies is that their victims can't stand up to them

I would have intervened but I think I would need a lot bit more information before I started throwing terms like "bully" around.

Space - yes I agree with you. DH just hates confrontation and thinks bully will come back and target our house or something ridiculous. Harmless kids I'm sure but the girl needed telling in my opinion. I don't think DH was ever bullied at school. I was, by little witches like that too.

Well done. I think it's good that you did this and showed bullies that their actions are not to be tolerated.

Hells - yes. She had no idea I was watching the whole thing from my living room window.

YANBU, well done.

Yanbu, I'd have done the same. Well son, OP.

Barbarian. She was teasing and making fun of a cute, tall boy with glasses. She encouraged others to join in her fun of taking the bike. In my opinion she was a bully.

Why were you watching . You probably didn't need to yell and approaching the (in your view) victim to establish what was going on clearly may have been sensible. You don't even know if your assumption is correct. Perhaps you took a bike off the rightful owner who, being a child, ran off in tears when faced with an irratiinal and threatening adult.

Monte - please tell your dh that my mum shared his views on who should deal with bullies, which is why I felt entirely unsupported by her when I was bullied all through senior school - as a result of which I was suicidal at age 14, and have had depression ever since (I will be 52 this year).

I applaud you for doing what you did!

Well done OP.

If more of us were prepared to stop that kind of behaviour, then maybe more DC would get the message that it's not acceptable

The boy stated it was his when I asked. He was clearly distressed. She claimed to me he'd let her ride it.

Of course you did the right thing, bolshy 14 year olds would have said if you'd have got the wrong end of the stick. If the other child was worrying about the handlebars then it sounds like a very clear case of the judgement of Solomon.

SDT - I'm so sorry to hear that. That must have been horrific for you.

Well done you! Yanbu at all.

I have a mental image of you watching out of the window with a mask and cape on, then when everything kicked off more you leap into action to put the bully in their place with your cape blowing in the wind.

Thanks.

Good for you.

I would also have taken a picture of her and emailed it to the school.

You were right to take action. Bullies get away with it as they know precisely that the victim is too timid to take them on. Good on you.

So shrieking at children is ok on mn now? Who knew.

Of course you weren't in the wrong! I'd have done exactly the same thing; but I'd be a bit at your DH. Would he be singing the same tune if the child concerned was yours?