just yelled at a school bully outside my house. AIBU?

[MontePulciana]

Bully was on a bike, clearly not hers. Victim was trying to retrieve bike, all I could hear was "you're gonna ruin the handle bars". Another boy joined her pulling bike away from boy. This was right outside my house. I hate school bullies with a passion so decided to go out and "have a word". Admittedly I was a bit confrontational. I asked who the bike belonged to, what was she doing to it and then to get off it. She was pretty taken aback and made off swiftly. DH thinks bullies should be dealt with by the victim only and thinks I've put my foot in it. They were about 14. AIBU?

Sorry for your loss OP

I was bullied for years in secondary school by various kids... Fun NOT!

What was appalling was I went to a school reunion this year one of the girls noticed another girl who'd had epilepsy and had been bullied who wasn't there at the reunion, she commented on this and how bullies if they were bullied as adults must have had something wrong with them...

I didn't say anything directly at the time but told her that wasn't the case etc.

Some people just don't see that if you're bullied as a child it's so much easier for an adult to also do the same. And it happens to everyone.

The world needs more people like you OP, I'd have done the same.

Sorry I mean victims of bullying if they were bullied as adults too!

Shrieking at children is fine, if they are bullies ! 😄

You totally did the right thing, as someone said upthread sometimes it's needed for both bully and victim. The victim feels 'heard' and the bully is stood up to.

I've never 'shrieked' although there's nothing wrong with that in certain situations but I have given an 'Oi' and death stare.

To all those saying keep out don't be so bloody ridiculous.

I'm so sorry for you loss OP, I can't even imagine what you're going through but you did a brilliant thing and the victim will always remember you. You might have even made the bully think about their actions x

Because all bullies are "chavs"

Right.

Good for you op

Kids cab8 be nasty little buggers and the sooner people realise that and do something about it rather than worrying about upsetting the kid who's being a nasty bugger the better.

I was bullied all through primary school in fact I remember a kid picking on me in pre school too. Even my brother got away with being violent towards me so I'm all for someone actually doing something about it.

Sorry for your loss

Did someone actually write "why were you watching?" - give me strength.

You did exactly the right thing and the child will thank you and his parents will thank you and the other kids, well, who knows about them, what they may or may not have learnt from it.

And your DH needs to grow a pair - sorry - but true. He's scared of them targeting the house??

Good for you OP. I cant watch kids in an unsafe situation on the street and walk away. We all have to watch out for each other.

I walked home from work one night as a teen in heels - and saw a young boy on the ground - no more than 5 - surrounded by teens - one was jumping on him - being cheered on - the two men - 30's in front of me walked past!! I was livid with them for turning a blind eye ....

I ran over and scooped the boy up - he was so light he shot into my arms and I shouted at them all - and ran to the boys house (just round the corner - he was able to direct me)
The boys parents thanked me - and we never saw the teens again -

Please step in and step up!

I think bullies sometimes don't realise that is what they are doing - hence getting upset when they are called on their behaviour.
My DD was bullied at primary and at secondary - things have improved a lot now. Bullying was by various children (I think once someone gets picked out as a target by a 'popular' child others join in to avoid being bullied themselves and to become liked by popular children). One girl was almost constantly involved - an instigator - not actually physically doing anything but egging others on. She has bullied other children, including some of DD's friends. Apparently DD and her friends recently heard this girl loudly talking about how awful bullying was, why would people bully someone, how nasty bullies were - DD and her friends looked at each other and burst out laughing. The bully girl stopped for a minute, puzzled and carried one - really didn't realise that SHE WAS A BULLY. Luckily DD and her friends just found this hilarious and actually feel kind of sorry for this girl now...can see that the reason she needs to put others down is because she is so desperate to be liked/popular by the 'right' people, frightened not to be ...not comfortable with just being herself.

The targeting the house thing came from one of our elderly neighbours. Teenagers recently sat on their wall and leaving all kinds of rubbish behind. Neighbour said they won't challenge them for fear of them coming back and doing more damage. They wouldn't come back with their photos all over fb and sent to their school of them littering I bet. Photographing bad behaviour and shaming these fools is probably the only way to go sometimes.

We actually raised a concern with ds' Out of School Club because we were concerned that ds was starting to exhibit some bullying behaviour towards his friend across the road (they were doing an Anti-Bullying initiative at the time). We just wanted some advice as to how to nip it in the bud.

Turns out it was ds who was being bullied quite badly at the Out of School Service by one of his so called "friends" and two other boys (one slightly older boy who lived around the corner from the "friend" who "could do no wrong" according to his mother and whose father didn't believe that there was such a thing as bullying I suppose I should feel sorry for the boy as he wasn't being done any favours by his parents): some really nasty name calling and ostracising, plus the beginnings of physical bullying. They'd been about to raise it with us.

We took it up immediately with the school and they were brilliant. Got the boys to admit what they were doing and that it was wrong. Put the fear of God the deputeinto them about repeating it. Fortunately, the older boy moved away shortly afterwards.

Ds' "friend" did get up to his old tricks again a few years later, but ds had the confidence to raise it with us and we took it up with the school again. Ds learnt not to get drawn into his friend's bullying activities (although he did walk home early after a sleepover without the mother even warning us he'd left in tears after being ostracised again) and not to be drawn into "having" to be friends with him.

When he was in his last year at primary school, ds would even get younger kids asking him how to deal with this boy. He would advise them to ignore him - he was only going it for attention and to make himself feel important.

Interestingly, ds is now a self-confident popular boy at secondary and the times I've seen the other boy (who went to a different school), he has looked like he wouldn't say boo to a goose.

The important thing for children is to know that they are supported - and that includes calling out/acting on any bullying you witness.

Good for you for not standing by.

Too right - they need someone to give them a good talking to! My mum is like a discipline vigilante in her town, she chases the kids down to tell them off!

When I was about 17 I had a go at a massive bloke who was knocking the hell out of his son near our house - he fronted up to me too but (thank god) backed down when I pointed out he was an even bigger coward if he hit a young girl too. I was raging at the time but shitting myself inside!

That's the kind of grown up we need to all help prevent!

I’m another one who says good for you. I’ll always intervene in these things.