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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To make dd sell her some of her processions to pay for her phone bill?

133 replies

blurredlines · 13/10/2016 22:23

So got dd a phone contract with 4gb data. When she hits her limit it cuts of all other services so I haven't capped her spending.
She keeps going over her data and has spent an extra £50 this month bringing her bill to £60.
So we were having a clear out and we find her old Nintendo 3ds which she never plays on. Managed to sell it on eBay for £70 but told her she has to give me £50 towards the bill . Aibu?

OP posts:

19lottie82 · 13/10/2016 23:41

You have an 11 year old a contract sim with uncapped data?

YABU.

SE13Mummy · 14/10/2016 01:28

I don't think it's unreasonable that an 11-yr-old should contribute to a phone bill that she's run up by being irresponsible with her data usage. I do think it would be sensible to use this as a wake-up call for her in terms of the consequences of not being aware of her data consumption. Assuming this is a new contract because she's just started secondary school, definitely contact the provider and arrange for a cap to be put on data so she can't overspend. With your DD, explore the settings for the different apps to ensure background data is restricted to WiFi only and that updates only happen when connected to WiFi.

My 11-yr-old DD has a PAYG mobile with EE. I pay £1 per week for an allowance of minutes, texts and data. Every three months DD gets to choose a bonus top-up so has increased her text and data allowances a bit over the past year. As I only top it up with £5, she has to stay on top of how much extra she's spent; the new £1 allowance won't start if there's not enough credit. This means that even if she goes crazy and overspends, the maximum loss will be £4. This month she discovered that sending emojis in texts is expensive...for the past 3 weeks she's had no texts or data because she'd used the credit on emojis! I was able to pay for her to be topped up with minutes only (so she can still call me to say if she's staying late at school etc) and I think she's probably going to hold back on the emoji use now!

ferngarden · 14/10/2016 01:49

Youtube eats up loads of data if the default setting is on high resolution/HD. Changing this to low resolution saved me so much data usage!

ChequeOff · 14/10/2016 01:51

cap her data!!!

BrainPrions · 14/10/2016 03:42

Well, the money worked this month. What about next month?

She's obviously not ready to manage her own data. You either need to accept this and keep eating the costs, or put a cap on her data. Or, get her a phone for calls and texts only. She doesn't need a smart phone to play on the internet while riding the bus.

Sierra259 · 14/10/2016 03:56

15gb a month is a ridiculous amount of data for a 14yo. Even my tech-loving DH never gets above 5gb a month! Agree with pp's you either need to cap it so she learns to be a bit more responsible/selective with her usage or get her a cheap, non-smart phone for use out and about (though I can't imagine that going down well!).

sashh · 14/10/2016 05:12

Set the phone so it doesn't automatically connect to data when she leaves your wifi.

Have her download videos/games at home before she travels.

AyeAmarok · 14/10/2016 06:02

That is a ridiculous amount of data. Seriously.

I think you need to buy her a book for the journey.

IfartInYourGeneralDirection · 14/10/2016 06:14

Yabu
If you are silly enough to put an 11 year old on uncapped then you should pay the bill

icanteven · 14/10/2016 07:54

You are crazy. I can't believe that your response to her flagrantly ignoring the data limit is to TRIPLE her data allowance. She has an hour long bus ride? Get her a BOOK.

I run an internet business and am surgically attached to my phone, and have never exceeded my 5GB allowance, because I use common sense and WIFI.

She can Whatsapp her friends to her heart's content on 5GB. She does not need you funding her Youtube on the bus to the tune of £50 a month. Do you ever say "no" to her at all??

Penfold007 · 14/10/2016 08:12

Expecting an 11 year old to self regulate data usage is naive especially as your answer to her repeatedly ignoring your rules is to triple her data.

LIZS · 14/10/2016 08:24

Dh regularly commutes and streams I player etc but still uses less than 6gb pm . I think you are naive to expect your dd to limit her usage if you don't cap it. Dd is 15 and still only uses her payg on wifi, at school or home. Tbh she has abused her privilege so take it away. If she needs to contact you get her a Nokia brick on payg and keep the smartphone at home. She will have to find other ways to entertain herself on the bus ( radio or book for example).

ShatnersWig · 14/10/2016 08:24

This is quite possibly the most stupid thing I've heard of in ages. I think it's actually very poor parenting to allow an 11-year old that sort of unregulated phone access and to "reward" her by increasing her data allowance. I wouldn't allow a child that young to have anything other than PAYG to help teach them about how much things cost, sensible use of the data. You have absolutely no idea what she is even looking at on these hour long journeys, or who she is chatting to over messenger or in chat rooms.

dontpokethebear · 14/10/2016 08:45

What icanteven said.

I think you need to take a serious look at this situation.

Urghhh. This thread has really pissed me off.

Original poster

blurredlines · 14/10/2016 08:49

Jesus some of the cooments on here !

Poor parenting ? Go fuck your sake

I know what she's looking at .

As I've stated over and over I can't cap that data without cutting off all the over services.
I probably should of checked the t &cs but will not accept the poor parenting comment.
I need her to be able to contact me when she's out and about if that makes me a poor parent then so be it.

OP posts:

dontpokethebear · 14/10/2016 08:49

How do you know what she's looking at?

Original poster

blurredlines · 14/10/2016 08:51

I check her history and phone daily

OP posts:

dontpokethebear · 14/10/2016 08:52

And I don't understand how capping the data cuts off the other services? Surely you get X minutes, X texts and X data? If you use up the data you'll still have texts and minutes left?

Original poster

blurredlines · 14/10/2016 08:53

It's with talk mobile

OP posts:

ShatnersWig · 14/10/2016 08:54

Yes, I think it is poor parenting. I don't see what lessons you are teaching your child. Which is, ultimately, one of the most important things a parent should do.

Other people went further and said you are crazy. You didn't tell them to "go fuck your sake" (which I assume was autocorrect for "your self").

You say she needs her to be able to contact you when she's out and about. Maybe she does (we all seemed to managed 10, 20, 30, 40 years ago without phones). But she does NOT need to have pretty much unlimited data or the ability to run up huge bills.

hettie · 14/10/2016 08:56

You allow you your 11 year old do have unfettered access to the internet via a mobile data contract? You have idea what she's using it on? Do you check her phone, do you know (properly) how to get around all the apps that hide apps (so it looks like she hasn't downloaded Instagram) and how to check her history (even when she tries to hide it)...

LIZS · 14/10/2016 08:58

She could monitor her usage so once she hits near her data limit she turns it off so she doesn't lose the other functions. However that is quite an ask for an 11 yo, so you could do it at home each evening and tell her. I would also check what apps she has updating in the background eating the data. You don't seem to be taking on board the suggestion that she isn't only using YouTube and Whatsapp on her journeys, it is 10 hours a week max so it simply does not add up. I'm surprised she even has access to her phone during school hours let alone to use data. What is school policy?

Original poster

blurredlines · 14/10/2016 09:00

I asked her to not turn on her data now it has ran out . She did and ran up this huge bill. I want to teach her not to do it again which is why I thought to make her contribute towards it.

OP posts:

SoupDragon · 14/10/2016 09:00

How the hell is she using so much data? DSs both use between 1 and 2gb a month and they are older teens.

Has she shut everything down in the background when she's not using the apps? DS1 once used all his months data in an hour when he didn't shut down Minecraft after lending his phone to his sister.

waterrat · 14/10/2016 09:01

She needs to learn about phone use. You don't watch youtube unless on wifi. She should choose what she wants to watch and download at home while on wifi.

I think it is so stupid to let an 11 year old essentially watch hours of tv while on journey to school.

Get her a kindle or buy some books. Let her keep the phone with her for snap chat etc but tell her to stop watching youtube.

Do you have any idea what she watches ?

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