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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask a very personal question?

416 replies

Mrsemcgregor · 12/10/2016 16:36

I am talking pubic hair. What does everyone do with it? I hate mine (especially as I get older it's getting wilder!) but what I hate more is bumpy itchy red skin whenever I try to tackle it. However I seem to be under the impression that most women are smooth and basically hairless down there and I must seem like some sort of cave woman or 70s porn star in comparison.

My husband hasn't mentioned that he minds at all...but maybe he does?

And if everyone is hairless and neat down there please please tell me how to do it without hideous rashes!!!

OP posts:
SoTheySentMeA · 12/10/2016 21:37

Nofunkingworriesmate GrinGrinGrin

YuckYuckEwwww · 12/10/2016 21:37

why do the non hair-removers bother to 'tidy up edges' for swimming?

I think of my bush as kinda part of my genitals - also make sure the rest of my genitals are tucked away in a swim costume

RiverTam · 12/10/2016 21:39

Lyin is that aimed at me? I'm not judging anyone for their choices, but I am interested in the whys of the rise in shaving in women. Yet again, you as an individual can do what you like. But surely all of us should be concerned if, as appears to be the case from a few things said in this thread, notably the person whose GP friend noticed that it is almost universal in women in their 20s as opposed to rare for those in their 40s, that young women are not choosing to do this but are being pressured into it, and where that pressure is coming from.

I don't care about you as an individual. I do care about expectations being foisted in women as a class.

DimplePeach · 12/10/2016 21:42

Best way to avoid shaving rash is using a new blade and applying an anti persperant stick like dove or sure straight away, just remember to wash it off if your man like to get down there with his face! He could end up with a very dry tongue Wink I usually wax it all off myself front and back, but its a bit tricky with this bump in the way! Im very prone to nasty ingrowers but the deoderant trick works a treat keeping them away too strangely!

2kids2dogsnosense · 12/10/2016 21:43

Why the judgement? It is ALL from the side of those who don't shave/wax/depilate. Nobody from the 'other side' is judging anybody else

Actually, Witch, they are. If you wax because you claim it is cleaner, more hygienic etc, you are, by inference, saying that people who have tons of fur are dirty and unhygienic.

I think you;re right - what we do with our own bits is our own business and we shouldn't judge others, but we do all have opinions, and we do all like to air them.

All I can say is what a bald fanny suggests to me. You can say what it means to you. There are times when neither of us, and times when both of us, will be right. And times when we are wrong.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 12/10/2016 21:46

Yuck... what about legs? Do you remove hair from those? That was kind of my point.

RiverTam, not really. It wasn't 'aimed' anywhere but just a general observation. There are lots of things that we did and didn't do going back generations, and some of those things were perhaps foisted on women as a whole, others were not.

I abhor the pre-pubescent argument. As stated so well upthread, genitalia of a child is nothing like genitalia of a woman and that argument should be treated with the contempt it deserves because it's used as a tool to shame women and I can't have that. I find that so many sticks are used to beat women who don't conform and whilst some people say it's not about the individual, it's the individual to whom the points are being addressed... again and again... by other women.

We're all under 'pressure' and expectation to do certain things but it seems that it's only where it concerns women that this assessment comes into force. I really don't think that's ok and it puts me off feminism, it really does.

ComputerUserNotTrained · 12/10/2016 21:48

The hygiene argument is the most offensive, misogynistic one in my mind. It really, really isn't more or less stinky or sticky even to be hairy than it is to be hairless - the gubbins that creates odour or stickiness has go to go somewhere, after all.

Bare or bushy, as long as they're regularly washed (and assuming no infections), vulvas, vaginas, mons pubises (fuck knows what the plural is of that) are perfectly hygienic. You might not want to serve dinner off one (unless you're doing a 9 1/2 Weeks type thing), but they're not less hygienic than a cared for penis.

Mumandthemermaids · 12/10/2016 21:51

I used one of those trim and shape razor/trimmer combo things- don't shave down below though, just trim. It's affectionately called a beaver trimmer 😂

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 12/10/2016 21:51

2kids, it's more hygienic FOR ME. It's better FOR ME, for MY circumstances. Other people have different views and I wouldn't disbelieve them if they post them as such.

I truly am not judging you or anybody else. I don't expect posting in a vacuum but it would be nice to post without the omnipresence of judgement for a cause.

Amalfimamma · 12/10/2016 21:53

I get waxed in a salon once every 3 weeks in summer (because I'm on the beach every day from May to September) and once a month in winter.

If there are any strays they get zapped with the silk epil

To avoid ingrown hairs and rashes I use an exfoliating Glove and a good quality scrub

swampster · 12/10/2016 21:53

Recently discovered epilating. Take a look at these beauties, you are welcome.

DerelictMyBalls · 12/10/2016 21:55

I asked DH what he prefers and he said hairy, 'because it is easier to find in the dark'.

2kids2dogsnosense · 12/10/2016 21:56

I truly am not judging you or anybody else. I don't expect posting in a vacuum but it would be nice to post without the omnipresence of judgement for a cause

Just how I feel. But your post suggested that only us hairs were making judgements, and I don't feel that that was true.

We're all under 'pressure' and expectation to do certain things but it seems that it's only where it concerns women that this assessment comes into force

We're on the same side here, too.

Pax?

porridge90 · 12/10/2016 21:57

Derelict - that just made me snort baileys through my nose

2kids2dogsnosense · 12/10/2016 21:58

Derelict

Grin Nice to have someone taking this lightly - we're all getting ourselves over-excited ATM.
0pti0na1 · 12/10/2016 21:58

why do the non hair-removers bother to 'tidy up edges' for swimming? If you're so 'right on' and happy with your decision, what does it matter if hairs are visible?

Because you can be happy with how that part of your body looks without wanting any of it to be visible to the general public?

RiverTam · 12/10/2016 21:58

Well, as a feminist, a woman and the mother of a daughter I'm mainly interested when women are pressurised to do stuff that isn't necessarily what they want or is in their best interests. Men I'm sure can look out for themselves. I'm certainly not looking to shame anyone and I agree that people should be allowed to make their own choices about their bodies without judgement or being shamed. But with younger women it appears that that shaming and judgement is happening and I find that distressing, especially speaking as someone for whom this would have been a real struggle if I was a young woman now. I still succumb to societal pressures because I remove the hair from my legs (leg hair and meandering stray pubes) but that doesn't cause me anywhere like as much grief as removing all my pubic hair would. I wish I had the guts to go swimming with hairy legs.

(If we're concerned about men, DH hasn't been swimming in I don't know how long because of his hairy back, he is very self conscious and thinks people would stare and sneer, and having ready many a negative comment about hairy backs on MN I can't blame him. But not all men have hairy back, whereas all women (baring those with conditions such as alopecia) have pubic hair.)

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 12/10/2016 22:00

2kids absolutely. :)

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 12/10/2016 22:02

Thanks Opti0. I'm really not being provocative because I'm absolutely in favour of women doing whatever the hell they like.

MistressMerryWeather · 12/10/2016 22:03

I braid it.

poppym12 · 12/10/2016 22:03

I usually epilate if when I defur my legs. I prefer to feel smooth but I only epilate to just inside the bikini line as sometimes it comes a bit sharp. If I want to take more off I use a ladyshave. I tried bald a couple of times but didn't like it as I actually felt sweatier without pubes Confused.

KindDogsTail · 12/10/2016 22:04

Another thing is that its all very well to be hairless before having a baby, but after having a baby, the labia skin looks saggier and redder and would be better being at least somewhat covered!

intheBondiBubble · 12/10/2016 22:04

Laser hair removal

2kids2dogsnosense · 12/10/2016 22:05

You're so right River.

Whether we like it or not there is still huge pressure on women and girls to conform to what appears to be an ever narrower "norm".

Puberty is hell for almost everyone to begin with - doubly so for girls, judged by people of both sexes.

I hate to think that anyone feels obliged to do things and perform in ways that make them distressed or uncomfortable, but the shaming that you mention causes so much unhappiness.

KindDogsTail · 12/10/2016 22:05

Doesn't shaving rather than waxing lead to bristles?

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