AIBU not to pay for decapitated teddy bear

[RestlessTraveller]

So I have a rescue dog who is lovely but has suffered appalling treatment in the past.
He loves meeting people but is very excitable so I am very careful when he is around people. Today I was sat outside a coffee shop and he was being extremely well behaving sitting beside my chair, a woman with a boy aged about 3 came
and sat at the table next to me. The little
boy asked if he could stroke the dog and I explained it was best not to as he might jump up at him. Cue an almighty tantrum, with him screaming "I want to stroke the puppy", his mother told him not to because the dog was obviously "vicious". I explained that he wasn't vicious just excitable. To which point the child yelled "nasty doggy" and kicked out at him missing my my dog, but very close by. I told him not to do it again and to go back and sit with his mother which he did but minutes later he threw his teddy bear at him at which point my dog looked at this soft toy on the ground, picked it up and promptly ripped it's head off. Whilst trying not to die of embarrassment I apologised but the mother completely flipped out, telling me that it was a dangerous dog and should be put to sleep. She then demanded that I pay for the toy. I told her that if he child hadn't thrown it the dog would never have got his paws on it and walked off. I don't think I was BU but my friend thinks I should have coffed up. What do you think?

YABU I think.

The comments about a 3yo child are truly horrible. Has no one ever had a 3yo who was having a troublesome day? Because I certainly do with mine. Her nursery reports are glowing, she is kind and empathetic to her friends and a pleasure to have in class. But my god she can be frustrating if she is tired or told no. They are supposed to push the boundaries at this age. It's part of growing into an independent being.

I imagine the child said 'nasty dog' as his mother had said the dog was vicious. Kicking is absolutely not on and my LO would have been told off, but a) he didn't actually kick the dog and b) young children do not have he same control of their emotions as adults do.

Throwing something out of frustration is also perfectly typical of 3yos. Of course it's to be discouraged. And I would talk to my 3yo about why it was wrong, if she did it again I would remove the item from her.

But having a cherished toy destroyed in front of his eyes is an extremely harsh punishment for a young child.

My DD is obsessed with one fairly grotty cheap teddy she has had since birth. He goes everywhere. If this had happened to a toy like this she would be utterly utterly destraught. Far too harsh a punishment for throwing out of frustration (again, pretty typical youndchild behaviour).

Bottom line is, your animal damaged property. i would replace it, if it were me. And no matter the behaviour of the child beforehand, I would feel sad for a 3yo who had had a toy destroyed in front of them.

I think you were more restrained than I would have been! Stupid mother! She's not helping her child in any way here :(

No, serves the little brat right.
I hate kids like that, YANBU.

As if you should pay! Fuck that for a game of soldiers.

Mum/Child sound hideous.

No wonder the child is so badly behaved. Mother sounds appalling.

I don't think you should pay, the child should not have thrown its toy. The parent should have stopped that happening.

However when out walking with my son as a baby in his buggy a dog jumped up right in his face and made him all muddy.

I would have liked to have ripped the dogs head off, and in fact the dog owners.

YANBU

I have drilled into my DC the need to always ask the owners permission before approaching a dog.

This on occasion caused tantrums from my dog loving DS as I moved him away whilst a slightly embarrassed owner looked on saying 'its OK he's good with kids ' etc and I must have looked like I thought the dog was the hound of the baskervilles out to claim my offspring.

Both my DC now always ask and I really appreciate the owners who take the time to let them make a fuss of the dog and also thank them for asking first.

My DD is still nervous around dogs but is much better due to owners talking to her and reassuring her after DS has dived right in to doggy cuddles.

That said my DD is possibly nervous due to being jumped up at by a bouncy dog when she was tiny and the owner doing nothing to stop it so I do have a dislike of owners who expect other people to put up with unwanted attention from their dogs and do nothing to intervene.

From what you have said about the fact you would have replaced the football in the example from a pp I think you sound like a responsible owner who is fair.

Stupid self entitled woman,and rude brat of a child....good for yr dog...I'd be appalled if my child behaved like that

Ah, the are some Perfect Parents on this thread whose the year olds have never had a tantrum. I used to be one of those until I had my second son.

Three year olds.

Not the year olds.

iOS10 has fucked up my keyboard.

Yanbu.

Mother could sew the Teddys head back on for a start.

I'm always sewing heads back on my dog's teddies.

I don't think she can sew the head back on, I think a certain dog was carried away with it still in his mouth. Oops.

YANBU. Pay? Yeah right. If it had been me she'd have been counting her blessings that her child's foot hadn't connected with my dog & she would have been told to remove the child, pronto, because if he did it again I'd tell him off & he wouldn't like it.

I think this sums it up nicely...

LightDrizzle. YANBU! You were being a responsible dog owner, he was being a stroppy three year old, and she was being a cunt

YANBU! I think I'd have told my 3yo it served her right if they'd had their toy ripped up after throwing it at your dog!

Yanbu! If my dog hadn't have done it I think I would've ripped the head of myself. You explained to leave the dog alone, you are well within your rights to take it out and be left in peace. You should have asked for her to pay for your coffee she ruined!

YANBU kids need to learn how to behave around animals & that includes learning to leave them alone if their owner has actually said not to touch. The mother also needs to learn to respect the dog's owner too & reinforce the message, not allow her child to continue.

If my dog hadn't have done it I think I would've ripped the head of myself

You would have ripped the head of a 3 year old's bear?

Caipira RTFT - The OP couldn't get to the toy first because she'd tucked the dog in under the table after the child kicked it.

That child has some skill, being able to not only hit a target with a thrown object at such a young age, but also a target that was additionally tucked under a table! Wow!

Well this is all food for thought and while looking back I may have got a bit defensive on this thread, I absolutely would have accepted I was unreasonable if the majority said so.

A lot of these comments have given me food for thought and I absolutely promise if I thought my dog was in anyway out of control or aggressive in any way he would not have been with me in the cafe. We've worked very hard to build his confidence up and now it's at a level where he can be relied upon not to be a nuisance taking him to places like this is part of his socialisation.

I did not relish the fact that the child's toy was destroyed but to be fair given the level of tantrum when he was asked not to touch the dog, he was fairly level headed when the decapitation actually happened.

Since I can't pay for a new toy now I have instead made a £10 donation to a local animal rescue.

I have a toddler and am not really a dog lover - but even I think YANBU.

The kid was being a brat, his mum chose to let him carry on, and his teddy got chewed up. Boo hoo. Maybe he'll learn not to throw things at animals in future.

Capira small child standing about 6 inches behind the dog. Not too much of a stretch is it. Or are you refusing to believe this happened?