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AIBU?

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Original poster

What's the stupidest injury your partner or kids have ended up with?

75 replies

BowieFan · 10/10/2016 09:15

Backstory: My DS1 has fractured his ankle playing football (he's fine, it's happened before). The funny injury happened when DP ran over to see what was happening, slipped on some mud and ended up dislocating his knee.

5 months ago, he did the same thing jumping from one floor of a car park to another with the excuse, "well I'm 40, I assumed I could manage to jump 3 feet".

This is a man they let fly fighter jets.

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VioletBam · 10/10/2016 11:26

My DH sleepwalks terribly...he has episodes where he literally runs through the house in a panic. During one of these, he ran down the stairs, into the tiny loo and then fainted and knocked himself out on the loo bowl.

I came in to see what had happened and he was lying there naked with a big egg on his head.

He must have got out of bed from lying flat so fast that all the blood hadn;t reached his brain so he fainted whilst asleep!

He woke up and had to go to casualty.

Mari50 · 10/10/2016 11:37

I got toothpaste in my eye (don't ask) and as I leaned down with my eyes shut to wash it out I smacked my head on the tap. My DD found this hilarious.

Original poster
BowieFan · 10/10/2016 11:45

Oh, then there was the time someone from DP's regiment let us know he'd been injured whilst they were on deployment. We were worried it was something really bad and life threatening. What had happened? DP slipped in the shower and chipped a tooth. He is an idiot.

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MyBreadIsEggy · 10/10/2016 11:46

Possibly TMI....but here goes!
DH had bee suffering from a diharrhea and sickness bug for about a week, but he started to feel better, no more vomiting etc, so he decided to get back into the swing of normal life and go for a gentle run.
About 20 mins after he left, he came back with a grazed forehead and skinned knees.....he then proceeded to take his running kit off in the kitchen and put it in the washing machine, like he always does. Only, he wasn't wearing any boxers Hmm Turns out that although he was feeling better, he definitely wasn't better!! He badly misjudged a fart while he was running, shit himself, realised that he'd shit himself, tripped over his own foot and face-planted the concrete Confused he'd gone into the bushes, removed his boxers, chucked them in the dog poo bin on the track and come home!! Grin

MyBreadIsEggy · 10/10/2016 11:47

Bowie my DH is military too....must render them pre-disposed to stupid injuries Grin

Jinglebellsandv0dka · 10/10/2016 11:49

My Dh squeezed himself on to a steep child's slid as he was bombing down it there was a toddler at the bottom of it not getting off so he had to try and grab the walls - which resulted in him friction burning both thumbs in a perfect circles. They were very sore/ no skin on and he couldn't eat his meal.

Yep I actually weed laughing at that. T'was a funny thing.

Jinglebellsandv0dka · 10/10/2016 11:50

mybread 😂😂😂😂😂😂

RebeccaWithTheGoodHair · 10/10/2016 11:55

OMG mybread that is brilliant, crying with laughter!

MaitlandGirl · 10/10/2016 11:56

DD2 is really accident prone - over the past few years she's broken her foot and given herself concussion (was imitating how the MIL was walking after a knee replacement when she caught her foot in her pj pants, tripped and smacked her head on the wooden floor), broken her wrist (was poking DP in the butt, over balanced and hit her wrist on the corner of the table), broken her nose when she was kissing the dog, broke her other wrist while making a safety video at school for how not to behave in the science labs, broken her nose a second time when she stopped to tie up her shoe laces (overbalanced) and tore the ligaments in her knee when she was doing a victory dance after she scored a goal in AFL.

murphys · 10/10/2016 11:58

I have a few:

Ds ripped the tendon in his pinky finger..........by trying to open a jar of gherkins for me. Had to have surgery by a plastic surgeon, off school for a month, missed exams..... we buy the gherkins in the packet now Hmm

My stbx come home late after boozing. He ate and I told him to put his plate in dishwasher as I had already tidied. In a mood he flung open the door and pulled out the top rack and such speed that a knife that was in there, came flying out and landed in his big toe, slicing the toe off. Surgery there as well, (twice in fact) and full leg in plaster and in wheelchair for 4 MONTHS!

Friend of ours, went to get something out of top cupboard. His wife came in and put on the light but the ceiling fan turned on as well. He turned around with the box and the ceiling fan took him out. He was out like a light, concussed and everything.........Grin. We still laugh about that whenever we see him.

LittleLionMansMummy · 10/10/2016 12:06

Dh cracked a rib falling off his bike drunk on new years eve many years ago. He was cycling behind me and I heard the turmoil behind me, cycled back to find him lying there with his head in a puddle (it was raining heavily) and muttering "I'm broken!" He didn't feel/ know about the rib until the following day when the 'anaesthetic' wore off...

IAmAPaleontologist · 10/10/2016 12:07

Dh and I were going to go away together child free. It was midweek so my mum came up to have the children. She and I left to take the big ones to school while Dh stayed home with the toddler and put our bags in the car. Got home to find Dh on the floor cuddling toddler and blood everywhere. Panicked then realised toddler was fine, is was Dh who was injured. He'd been mucking around doing frog jumps with toddler and cracked his head on a door frame. Our lovely romantic getaway began with a morning in A&E getting dh's head glued.

Ohb0llocks · 10/10/2016 12:11

Dp slipped on wet decking whilst chasing toddler DS and DSS, telling them not to run on the wet decking Grin

PandaInTheMorning · 10/10/2016 12:21

My DP has a huge scar down his thigh after falling through some stairs trying to go down into the cellar of his old building.

He had been warned by the landlord not to go in there, silly bugger.

Original poster
BowieFan · 10/10/2016 12:24

I've cracked a rib from sneezing once.

DS2 stubbed his toe on the couch once, kicked the couch out of frustration and broke his toe.

DH stapled his finger to some paper. The paper was a health and safety risk assessment...

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HeyNannyNanny · 10/10/2016 12:26

I went to the loo at the office I was working in; stood up and twisted to flush and dislocated my knee.

I was in a cast from foot to hip for 6 weeks.

I made sure to pull up my trousers and flush the toilet through the agony before crawling out to find help as I literally didn't want to be found with my trousers down Blush

KatoPotato · 10/10/2016 12:29

I once bent over to pick up toddler ds out side the car in our drive but i was wearing a gym bag over my shoulders with a long strap.

As I bent over, the bag slipped down my arse and trapped me so I couldn't stand back up again? I managed to pitch forward, and to avoid crushing DS I had to go to the side, but i soemhow managed to roll through the fence into next doors drive, like a stuck woodlouse.

FeelingSmurfy · 10/10/2016 12:47

Kato you are a very good story teller, I can just picture it! I'm sorry but it's really made me laugh!

I am the Queen of these, can't think of any but will come back when I do

Original poster
BowieFan · 10/10/2016 12:49

My absolute favourite is one where DP injured the house but not himself. He was cutting down a tree in the back garden. Me, having seen lots of episodes of You've Been Framed, asked "Are you sure there's enough space for it to fall down". DP being a man, and in the RAF, knows these sorts of things and assured me it was all fine, he'd "worked it out" using "maths".

He cut the tree, it smashed through by bathroom window. I was not pleased.

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FeelingSmurfy · 10/10/2016 12:50

Oh! How about my dad putting one or those heavy automatic air freshners away in the cupboard after we were given it (in a pack with 2 of the aerosols) because I have really bad asthma and he was thinking of my health...few days later I opened the cupboard, it hit me on the head and I ended up with concussion!

They were too busy pissing themselves laughing about how an act to help my health had injured me, to notice that I was very quiet and drowsy! Ambulance called, few nights in hospital, scans, few weeks of really bad concussion

Original poster
BowieFan · 10/10/2016 12:51

DP in his younger days once got a dart stuck in his head. I still think that it damaged his brain somehow and that's why he's so calamitous. Mind you, so is DS1 and there's no damage there (...yet.)

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RebeccaWithTheGoodHair · 10/10/2016 12:55

God these are brilliant. I particularly like the fact that everyone's family falls about laughing before attending to the emergency.

My one is DH wore a pair of my joggers all day without noticing, the elastic went as he was headed back to the car that evening, fell down, tripped him up and he had to hobble back to the car like Quasimodo. That was the year he fell through the floor as well. Great days.

Jizzomelette · 10/10/2016 12:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
BowieFan · 10/10/2016 13:00

I once got bit on the nose by a parrot and my dad laughed so much that he pulled a muscle in his back.

I think it just goes to show that in an emergency, never ask for help from your DP, kids or family.

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Original poster
BowieFan · 10/10/2016 13:02

DS1 is so calamitous that there was a point we were worried social services were going to get involved cos he was in A&E that much. Thankfully, the doctors recognised he was just a klutz when on the way out of the treatment room (something removed from his ear) he tripped over the door frame and bust his nose.

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