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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

A minor celeb came on to me inappropriately should I report?

382 replies

Iggypoppie · 09/10/2016 14:40

Got a bit of a dilemma.

After watching the jammy Saville doc last week I remembered that earlier this year a current v minor TV presenter several times touched my leg at a charity dinner. It was in a busy room and I was too shocked/confused to ask him to stop! I had only just met him and was three months pregnant so wasn't flirting and I believe his behaviour was sleazy if not predatory.

This person has already been reprimanded for inappropriate behaviour at work in the past so I believe he has form.

My question is, should I tell his employer even though he wasn't attending in a work capacity? Or should I just email him and say that I am on to him?

I don't want a fuss by the way and it was possible that he was just being "friendly" Hmm but it occurred to me that Saville got away so long because of women minimising incidents like this one.

OP posts:
instantly · 09/10/2016 19:06

See I think she is harming someone if she calls it abuse. I this it harms and detracts from genuine abuse victims.

I think it's offensive. I think what you did is offensive.

justagirl844 · 09/10/2016 19:07

when i went for counselling my father told me i was taking away from real abuse victims. my response was that we all were on a waiting list for counselling and their need wasn't any greater or lesser. i said we were all in the same boat. feeling a little embarassed or disgusted by inappropriate behaviour from men. my father was wrong and very abusive and cruel to say that to his own daughter

TriniRedVelvet · 09/10/2016 19:08

Someone has been having a boring Sunday...

instantly · 09/10/2016 19:08

No, I don't think he was. He must have been ashamed of you.

wombattoo · 09/10/2016 19:09

I have to agree with instantly. Unfortunately there are limited resources in terms of counselling and for someone to call it abuse when it isn't abuse, just to queue jump, is very wrong.

justagirl844 · 09/10/2016 19:10

ok, Instantly, you are entitled to your opinion. fair enough. but i would have killed myself if i hadn't accesssed counselling so i have no regrets. i did what i could to help myself and others are free to do the same.

instantly · 09/10/2016 19:10

Ok, look, I know you're a troll, but on the 0.1% chance that you're genuine, I'll engage with this:

feeling a little embarassed or disgusted by inappropriate behaviour from men

If you think that's how JS's victims feel, or how rape victims feel, I feel actually sorry for you. Because you're so very far away from understanding the experiences and feelings of others, that I think you're probably a sociopath.

LittleDittyAbout · 09/10/2016 19:10

I feel like I've stumbled into 4chan. Has the site been invaded by some freaky crowd again?

instantly · 09/10/2016 19:11

I think so

Pisssssedofff · 09/10/2016 19:11

Well unless there's an indefinite source of money which there isn't then yeah you accessing resources for your abuse or the consequences of it ie your mh issues which may or may not have been related did mean somebody else didn't. Sorry if that sounds judgy but it's the truth. However I do hope it helped you and you no longer self harm

MNHQ
PresidentOliviaMumsnet · 09/10/2016 19:11

Evening all
Just a reminder that we don't like speculation
Thanks

justagirl844 · 09/10/2016 19:12

Wombattoo, but it was abuse in my own perception of things. i didn't queue jump. the counsellor decided i needed help because i was so afraid of men and had an eating disorder and was cutting because i hated myself so much. amd i was set up in a house so i could escape my dad

wombattoo · 09/10/2016 19:12

justagirl I can't decide if you are being deliberately provocative. There are many genuine victims who feel more than 'a little embarrassed'.

I think I will step away.

instantly · 09/10/2016 19:13

Go and start your own thread. You've successfully made this one all about you.

justagirl844 · 09/10/2016 19:14

i thought it was abuse and because the man had grabbed me and forced me after following me . i was a timid child and probably saw a threat where there wasn't one. because i was being violently abused at home so interpreted this man's advances this way. it was a mistake. i was a child. give me a break!

daisychain01 · 09/10/2016 19:14

And well done to everyone who would've been confident enough to draw attention at the time. Bully for you.

Hey come on OP don't get snippy with us. We're commenting on possible retorts, that anyone on here can lift and use if they are confronted with something similar. Nobody is saying they'd have coped better than you . It's always easy to come out with the clever remarks from the comfort of our iPad.

No need to take it personally, there are lots of us on your side.

justagirl844 · 09/10/2016 19:16

i felt terrified. i had a panic attack. no. i still self harm. i hate myself. for letting my dad treat me like this

justagirl844 · 09/10/2016 19:17

daisychain it doesn't feel like people are are on our side but thanks

daisychain01 · 09/10/2016 19:18

Sorry I noticed the thread has moved on significantly since this comment earlier! Blush

justagirl844 · 09/10/2016 19:18

instantly i don't care about my dad. he screamed at me when i was sobbing after an attempted rape. that is why im on here. to get the compassion i needed

glitterandtinsel · 09/10/2016 19:19

Op got touched on the leg in public. She didn't ask for the hand to be removed.
All seems a huge fuss over not much. I can't see how this is a sexual assault. Confused

instantly · 09/10/2016 19:19

daisychain was directing that post to the OP.

justagirl844 · 09/10/2016 19:19

no thanks daisychain...i appreciate it

justagirl844 · 09/10/2016 19:19

at least i have got ot off my chest now. .....i feel less dirty. i am going to call Rape Crisis and deal with all this

instantly · 09/10/2016 19:20

Go start a thread.

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