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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to think that Nursery shouldn't have done this?

301 replies

CtotheB · 09/10/2016 09:23

We have recently started weaning my 6 month old DD with fruit purée and some BLW. At the minute it is 1-2 meals per day. She was at Nursery all day on Monday so I dropped her off with her usual milk and a jar of food I know she liked and wasn't allergic to (hasn't previously had a reaction). On Thursday she was in from 12.30-4pm so I gave her breakfast and thought she would be fine at nursery and give her tea at 5/6pm. Anyway when I picked her up her diary said she really enjoyed her yoghurt, but I hadn't given a yoghurt for her to have. Queried this and they said they have Nursery fromage frais that they'd given her. AIBU to think they shouldn't have done this, given the fact she a) hasn't had dairy (aside from milk) and b) didn't seek permission?? In hindsight after a bit of research I've decided the only fromage frais she will be having is no added refined sugar, as this is the 3rd or 4th highest ingredient in most!! She's a baby fgs I don't think she needs the sugar..

OP posts:

unimagmative13 · 09/10/2016 19:30

Stories like that (children who crave sugar) always make me think why people love that 'I told you so' failings of that mother who denied her children sugar.

Someone told me the same story but about children who came round her house, I always thought is not a story to tell and why are you making that openly available to children who parents wish them not to eat it!

Mumzypopz · 09/10/2016 19:30

Seriously there are much worse things than a fromage frais...to move her from there to a childminders is absolutely ridiculous.....take a long hard look at yourself.....she probably loved it!!!!

seven201 · 09/10/2016 19:31

In answer to your question about breastfeeding and lactose I don't know specifically. My nearly 4 month old is intolerant or allergic to the protein in animal milk products. She is mostly breastfed so I have had to give up all milk products. For her one formula feed a day she has prescription formula. If your daughter was intolerant or allergic to dairy you'd probably know by now.

I don't think he nursery were wrong but I do think you're over reacting. Just ask them to only feed stuff you provide in future.

ayeokthen · 09/10/2016 19:53

unimagmative13 sorry I misunderstood, I misread your comment.

unimagmative13 · 09/10/2016 19:54

That's ok!

GrainOfSalt · 09/10/2016 19:59

I haven't read every post but from those I have read I'm going to break from the trend and agree with you OP. Not so much that they gave her food (pretty normal if it was snack/ meal time to offer to all) but that it was a fromage frais, I don't get why people give sugar laden stuff to babies, DS liked natural yoghurt because he didn't know about flavoured/ sugar laden (6 years on and he wants neon pink/ yellow rubberised yoghurt lollies ). On the other side of things though yeah, you're going to have to learn to go with the flow and accept that nurseries etc will feed your baby things you wouldn't. Work on the basis that you are feeding what you want to and provide food if you really aren't happy with nursery (but in the grand scheme of things they'll want what the others have as they get older so in nursery settings it can be more relaxing for all to go with the flow)

IAmAPaleontologist · 09/10/2016 20:09

To be fair to the op, a fromage freaks or yoghurt is not a great food to give to a baby in the early stages of weaning, dairy that is straight up unmodified from the cow is pretty difficult for a baby to digest, hence why artificial milk is modified. Both my boys were fine with small amounts of exposure to cows milk proteins through breast milk and the small amounts in bread etc but give them a few spoons of yoghurt and you had grumpy babies with tummy pains and constipation. I would not expect a nursery to give a baby any food without having a discussion with the parent about their preferences for weaning and I do see this as a failure of their part. Not because a yoghurt is the work of the sugary devil but just for giving anything without checking with the parents.

However, op, it might have been a good idea once you did start weaning to ask the nursery what their food policy is so you could see what your baby would be provided with.

ayeokthen · 09/10/2016 20:14

unimagmative13

StStrattersOfMN · 09/10/2016 20:34

Actually, nowhere does it say that this was a full of sugar child's fromage frais, just that it was fromage frais. For all we know it could have been plain, mixed with the OP's stuffed full of natural sugar jar of organic fruit purée.

Fromage frais does not automatically mean it's laden with added sugar.

fabulous01 · 09/10/2016 20:40

Both mine were being tested for allergies so I had to be careful. Nursery on occasion did give them things I hadn't agreed but you have to take it in context. They are there majority of time

Mumzypopz · 09/10/2016 20:42

The OP has intimated it was full of sugar?

HobnailsandTaffeta · 09/10/2016 20:42

You can't be lactose intolerant to yoghurt people or cheese, only milk.

cheese contains only trace or zero lactose.

Yoghurts bacteria gets rid of the lactose entirely.

You can have a true allergy to all dairy or you can be lactose intolerant and just need to avoid milk.

Self diagnosing this crap really annoys me because it dilutes the support for people with real allergies/intolerance.

As you were

pinkoneblueone · 09/10/2016 20:44

I'm really sorry but I think you are majorly over reacting on this. I assume this is your 1st child?
I was way over the top with lots of things but not quite to this extent with my son.
Nursery staff are well trained and very experienced with children. They wouldn't have gone the little one something if they though it would risk their health.

StStrattersOfMN · 09/10/2016 20:46

OP states that she researched and concluded that sugar is the 3rd or 4th highest ingredient in most!! She doesn't state the brand, refers to it as 'Nursery fromage frais', and there is no indication that it was anything other than fromage frais', which comes in many guises.

StStrattersOfMN · 09/10/2016 20:48

Agree Hobs, that's why you can give proper plain active yoghurt to dogs if they have gippy tummies. It's v soothing, and helps the natural gut bacteria.

unimagmative13 · 09/10/2016 20:51

Read again Stratters

StStrattersOfMN · 09/10/2016 21:20

I have, I've checked every single one of the OP's posts, and nowhere does it state that it is a child's fromage frais full of sugar. She says she's researched them, and that they are full of sugar, but she only implies that the one PFB has is one of those. For all we know it's a tub of plain fromage frais, everyone is simply jumping to conclusions .

Mosschopz · 09/10/2016 21:27

Once I weaned my DD (who attended nursery full time) I trusted the nursery to feed her sensibly and they did. She's a great eater now. You don't have to give her yogurts at home you know!

ShoppingBasket · 09/10/2016 21:29

If I was the nursery worker I probably would have given your little one something as you had sent in food the day before so would presume you wanted nursery food for tea. If I didn't I could see a post from a different type of mother "nursery worker didn't bother to feed my child for session even though I sent in food the day before." Sometimes I think nursery workers can't win.

Original poster

CtotheB · 09/10/2016 21:33

In all honesty I thought they were quite irresponsible giving a new food to a recently weaned baby with no indication of what the baby has / hasn't had in the past.
In this instance, should something have happened (if she came out in hives etc) would I be unreasonable to question why my child has been given food without my permission? Fortunately, it hasnt which I am very grateful about.

Thanks for all the very helpful information regarding baby purée in jars. I naively believed they would be perfectly fine for a baby to have, given that the ingredients listed are fruit / vegetables with sugar not listed. I will be mashing my own veg/ fruit in future. Hopefully I will save her from forever craving sweet things and hoovering the crumbs up from underneath buffet tables..

I have since hunted out some no added sugar fromage frais to send with her tomorrow, so don't worry guys- I'm not starving her!!

Apologies if at times my tone has been "snobby, precious etc etc." I thought I would receive some helpful advice instead I receive a 10 pages of insults.

OP posts:

catkind · 09/10/2016 21:35

Why on earth wouldn't you /ask/ the parent Shopping? Just starting weaning isn't a green light to feed whatever you feel like. All the settings I looked at for DS or DD would coordinate with parents not just you fed them puree yesterday so they can have whatever's on the menu today.

Excited101 · 09/10/2016 21:46

I have always generally avoided fromage frais style yoghurts from weaning and onwards. It's nice to be able to offer the odd cake and biscuits knowing they have natural yoghurts as a regular thing with chopped fruit as opposed to sugary yoghurts. They are a huge con as the packaging just shouts about how healthy they are but the reality is anything but.

ShoppingBasket · 09/10/2016 21:51

It's not that I wouldn't ask, I probably would at drop off. If for whatever reason I didn't get a chance and I went to the bag and there wasn't any food there I MAY presume. I wouldn't give them whatever was on the menu obviously but I don't think a fromage frais is being negligent. However, as a nursery nurse myself I would have just given the child their bottle but I am just trying to see the side of the nursery nurse and pointing out they would have been damned from another parent if they didn't give anything.

justiceboner · 09/10/2016 21:52

No added sugar- what are they sweetened with then?

unimagmative13 · 09/10/2016 21:54

Nothing FFS they actually sell fromage frais that is fromage frais.

Yes we all know the you take sugar out and call it no add sugar but it's hidden sweeteners.

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