To want my kids to have my name? Divorce literally on the cards!

[Jugglingallthebollocks]

So this is actually a deal breaker for me and I'm ready to divorce I feel my husband is being so unfair.
Our kids are 8 and 10 and have always had my husbands surname. I didn't change my name when I married 12 years ago as I am a bit of a feminist and I have a professional career that I am well known by my maiden name. When we had kids he was unmovable that the kids had his surname only.
Fast forward a few years and now the kids want my name too, I travel a lot with my children alone and I'm sick of getting stopped at customs as we have different names. This happened again recently hence me bringing up the discussion again.
He is adamant they can not have my name, I've suggested they take it as an extra middle name but still no. His argument is that it's disrespectful to him.
He's not a Neanderthal in any other way, is very hands on, does lots of childcare.
I'm perhaps more pissed off than I should be as I'm paying off a HUGE debt of his (I'm the higher earner and have taken on extra work to sort this) that he hid from me so I'm still angry about this and kind of feel 'it's my right' for my kids to have my name too.
So AIBU?

Fuck the surname, I'd have divorced him for hiding that debt from me.

From the opening post: Fast forward a few years and now the kids want my name too

The OP is talking about adding her surname, as a middle name, to the names of two children who have asked for this to happen. Not changing their name.

And seriously, divorce over a decision you made ten years ago? Are you mad? Try telling your children later that you divorced their father because of such a stupid reason...they'll really love that.

Haven't RTFT so sorry this may have been suggested already.

You want the children to have your name, he wants them to have his. I don't think either of you are actually being unreasonable about this as you both obviously feel passionately (I think he is BU for not accepting you feel passionate about it as he does). As a compromise why don't you ALL change you names? You have his and yours as double barrel, he does same and then the DC's also.

FWIW I have a 17 YO DS who has never had my name and I have not been with his dad for over 15 years. It really has never been an issue - even that I share my surname with my DH and his DC's all sharing a name DS has never thought about it because I have never made it seem like an issue. Are you sure your DC's aren't wanting to do it because you have projected it on to them by accident as it seems a bit strange for DC's to even think about it in a situation where they live with both parents?

Changing their names now is ridiculous. Grow up.

If you wait this one out, at 18 DCs can change their name to whatever they like, (for free) via deed poll regardless of either of your wishes.