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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not have moved on from the referendum result?

1000 replies

Niamer · 06/10/2016 22:04

Hi. I am a remoaner. I have bored myself with talking about it online and with a couple of likeminded friends.
I was have never been political, was pretty disengaged before the referendum but a 100% gut-feeling kind of a remainer and really expected the vote to go our way.

Felt devastated at the result; I am a believer in working closely with our neighbours, have lived in other Eu countries, have friends here from other EU countries who feel unwelcome etc etc. AND all the attachment to Europe stuff aside, it just seemed a far safer economic option to stay put. Why go for a bumpy ride when you don't even like where you're going? Also felt really cheated when people's reasons for leaving became clear.
I am amazed that some Remainers have just gone quiet and got weary of it all. As far as Leave voters, there has been plenty of "suck it up" comments and total quiet from others. It hasn't been long but time is not healing for me. In fact the Tory conference seemed to take the grimness up a notch. Still so upset and wanting to protest (and have done in every way that I can think of)

I am currently in groups with staunch Remainers like myself, so I know how they are feeling. Outside of that, it isn't an easy topic to discuss. Remainers, Leavers, non-voters, please could you tell me where you're at? TIA

OP posts:
heron98 · 07/10/2016 18:08

YANBU.

You sound like me.

I was also politically disengaged before the referendum but felt so strongly that I registered to vote.

In some ways I blame myself - if I had voted before maybe we wouldn't have had David Cameron and none of this would have happened (not that my vote would have made a difference, but you see what I mean).

I am now avoiding any news about Brexit. I know it's happening but I don't like it and it breaks my heart to read about it so I am not.

Lynnm63 · 07/10/2016 18:09

Yes Farage did say he wouldn't accept 52:48 but you've all said Farage is an idiot who shouldn't be listened to but this one phrase suddenly what he says has gravitas. If the vote had gone the other way you'd have been saying the opposite and what I'm sure he meant was if we stay the shit will hit the fan as all the things junker said won't happen will and then the leavers will vote ukip and if 17million voted ukip they would have a mandate for leaving.

scaryteacher · 07/10/2016 18:09

Almond so given questions over the future of NATO What questions? I don't think there are any at present...and given that the organisation is about to move into a brand spanking new HQ within the next couple of months, and that US money is still rolling in, I think we have to see who is elected POTUS next before we start to panic. Furthermore, whilst Trump raises good points about the lack of investment in defence from many European allies (Germany and Belgium for example), I think if he were elected realpolitik would kick in.

eeas.europa.eu/topics/common-security-and-defence-policy-csdp/5388/shaping-of-a-common-security-and-defence-policy-_en Glad you think that CSDP policy is impartial....I don't. The EEAS is on a power grab at the moment with Mogherini wanting to stick her finger into all sports of pies. The inherent bias in there is that the link is to an EU website, written by eurocrats...hardly impartial!

wasonthelist · 07/10/2016 18:15

AlpacaLypse

I voted Leave for what seem to be similar reasons - I too voted for electoral reform.

When remainers challenged me about the House Of Lords vs EU on the subject of democracy it was always on the basis of their assumption that I support the HoL - I don't, but I wasn't being given a referendum on that.

Similarly, I did not tick a box that said "would you like to see more racist attacks?" although to hear some people, you'd imagine I did. I am genuinely sorry about that, and I wish it wasn't so, but I did not vote for it.

By the way, I've been the subject of quite open and unabashed anti-English racism in France, and the USA. I am in no way trying to suggest it's as bad as some of the things that have happened here, but it is a very sad fact that it exists in many places. I am not condoning it.

scaryteacher · 07/10/2016 18:16

night we will need to define how we interact with EU and European defence By bi-lateral treaty and via NATO. The UK, along with France, are really the only big hitters in the defence sphere of the EU. They need us more than we need them. If they want to continue to feed off our intelligence in the form of our membership of the Five Eyes (and they want to), then they will have to make concessions in other spheres.

almondpudding · 07/10/2016 18:20

ScaryTeacher, I don't know enough about it to be able to make that judgement. I just mean it must to some extent be based in fact compared to the wilder sources around Brexit.

Whether or not we should panic right now is neither here nor there. We are going through Brexit over the next few years, so this is the time to have these conversations.

And to be honest, I am panicking. I am experiencing a lot of fear and anxiety over the possibility that we are moving into a period of great instability and my teenagers could end up being pulled into a war.

Ta1kinpeece · 07/10/2016 18:25

wasonthelist
Farage clearly said that any margin less than 10% for Remain would not be accepted by UKIP and he would campaign for another referendum

are we so wrong to stick to his "principles" ?

Nightofthetentacle · 07/10/2016 18:32

By bi-lateral treaty and via NATO

Indeed, and I suppose there'll be a bit of negotiation involved to get there, possibly by the year 2032.

Almond, you are not alone in feeling fear and anxiety - I don't think that is irrational, although I would say that the EU does rather excel in political fudges, and so I think we face much tedious paperwork and economic underperformance, but all out war is a much remoter possibility. It's not as reassuring a picture as it was though, and I am terrified that Trump might get in.

I think if there is anything we can devote ourselves to for now, it's probably engaging with politics to ensure that we (and your young uns) get the best chance of a good outcome from this, and there is less tolerance of the kind of division and demagoguery that might give us significant trouble later.

almondpudding · 07/10/2016 18:38

That is in fact what I have done. I joined a political party in the week after Brexit, in the hope more political engagement might make some difference.

I am worried about both Trump and Putin.

I hope a good outcome is possible, but so many events are global and have been developing over decades.

TheElementsSong · 07/10/2016 18:40

Flowers was - I may disagree with you on Remain vs Leave but please be assured I do not hate you or others for it, and I hope that this is indeed mostly the case with the other posters here.

Bearbehind · 07/10/2016 18:43

Bear behind, here is a summary on one of the major threats to our sovereignty

stop-ttip.org/what-is-the-problem-ttip-ceta/

The reason why I did not vote was because there was no proper debate about issues like this and there still is no definite answer to what the EU or UK will do about TTIP and CETA.

I know this was a while ago but I'm just trying to catch up.

almondpudding the third line of the above quote perfectly illustrates the issue.

Yes might be threats to our sovereignity but voting to step of the cliff by leaving the EU was never held up as an answer to this.

It makes no sense to say we voted for sovereignity then not actually understand how we'd regain said sovereignity when Leave won- it's just rhetoric.

MNHQ
KatherineMumsnet · 07/10/2016 18:51

Hi all, we're just going to move this one over to the EU topic.

justgivemeamo · 07/10/2016 18:54

When remainers challenged me about the House Of Lords vs EU on the subject of democracy it was always on the basis of their assumption that I support the HoL - I don't, but I wasn't being given a referendum on that

Yes, and its a strange assumption to say - 'well there is a strange democratic system here so why not add to it with more layers far away in chaotic brussles' Confused

we need to cut back layers not add to them.

justgivemeamo · 07/10/2016 18:56

Yes might be threats to our sovereignity but voting to step of the cliff by leaving the EU was never held up as an answer to this
You see I see stepping off the cliff as staying IN the EU Hmm

Bearbehind · 07/10/2016 19:01

Why are all these threads being moved to the EU thread?

Threads about other things don't get moved to their specific sections.

Aibu is a general topic. This isn't a specialised discussion on Brexit, it's general.

Brexit is the biggest thing to happen in most of our lifetimes and yet people moan that they don't want to see it on their feed and want it moving away.

It's disgraceful that so many people are obviously asking for it to be moved. There's hundreds of threads on AIBU, why can't you scroll past this one if you don't like it, just like you do with any other thread that doesn't interest you?

It actually illustrates why this is all such a problem; too many people either think it is over or just want to make it go away

almondpudding · 07/10/2016 19:04

It's weird that this one has been moved and the far less measured 'it is like Britain in the thirties' one is still in AIBU.

almondpudding · 07/10/2016 19:04

Sorry, I meant Germany in the thirties.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 07/10/2016 19:05

Why are all these threads being moved to the EU thread?

It was an issue around EU ref. All the threads were cluttering up active threads so a board was created and people could hide the board.

It isn't disgraceful that people want it moved.

It isn't something that people 'just want it to go away' or any other tinfoil hat conspiracy.

MNHQ site and their decision.

Bearbehind · 07/10/2016 19:10

I can see why it was a problem at the time of the referendum but now it's just the odd one every so often.

It's is disgraceful that people can't even bear to look at a thread title that contains the word 'referendum' when it's going to affect everyone with a link to the UK's lives to some extent.

tiggytape · 07/10/2016 19:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RufusTheSpartacusReindeer · 07/10/2016 19:27

bearbehind

I agree with you

I think that political threads should be moved

But not threads about the effect the fallout from the referendum might be causing you

I agree that it doesn't seem to happen with any other threads, if i post that my husband is being a git its not moved to the relationship thread

MIL being a pain...doesnt get moved to the relationship thread

AIBU that i am worried about my husband losing his job...stays on AIBU

AIBU that i am worried that my husband will lose his job because of brexit....moved to the referendum topic

wasonthelist · 07/10/2016 19:35

Farage clearly said that any margin less than 10% for Remain would not be accepted by UKIP and he would campaign for another referendum

are we so wrong to stick to his "principles"?

Well that's up to you, I dunno why you expect me to tell you whether or not to align yourself with Farage. I am not a UKIP supporter FWIW, and I've already said it's too late for that now.

As I already stated, the time to sort out margins on turnout and the percentage would have been beforehand - I think everyone accepts it was close, but one answer had to win and a simple majority was how it was run.

Boffered1 · 07/10/2016 19:40

I am a leave voter and I stand by my vote. I resent the throwaway comments i have seen that my decision makes me a small minded, racist with no education. I am none of these things. I knew before I voted that the number on the bus was wrong. I understand the concerns I have seen from the remain voters and I share some of them. I do however think that we are better off out. I am in the North East of England an area with a large amount of disenfranchised people who feel forgotten, people who see no benefit to them in remaining. People unconcerned about trade agreements because rightly or wrongly it feels so far removed from them. People who felt their only option to be heard and to change things was to vote out. People who heard nothing from a remain campaign to convince them to stay. People who accept every one from everywhere and have not a racist thought in their head. It's not grim up north there are thriving areas like Newcastle and Gateshead but there are still areas decimated by pit closures and they have seen nothing from the EU to assist recovery or that is perceived to help them. People saw a chance for change and they took it in their millions.

scaryteacher · 07/10/2016 20:02

Almond I am experiencing a lot of fear and anxiety over the possibility that we are moving into a period of great instability and my teenagers could end up being pulled into a war.

We have been in a period of great instability since 1989 and the supposed end of the Cold War. I am more worried about the fact that the useful idiots have effectively given Iran the green light to make nuclear weapons on the quiet, than I am about a war in Europe.

If there were any prospect of war on the horizon, dh would be making me move back to the UK, instead of being sanguine about remaining in Brussels til late 2019. If it kicks off anywhere it will be an expansion of Syria. Putin needs time to digest Crimea and work out his next move with Ukraine before he tries to take bits out of the Baltic states, or expand from Kaliningrad.

Bearbehind · 07/10/2016 20:12

boffered, the disenfranchised might have felt they weren't being listen to but voting to Leave the EU was never touted as an answer to that.

What will happen if/ when Nissan pull out/ stop investing in the UK as a direct result of Brexit?

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