To not have moved on from the referendum result?

[Niamer]

Hi. I am a remoaner. I have bored myself with talking about it online and with a couple of likeminded friends.
I was have never been political, was pretty disengaged before the referendum but a 100% gut-feeling kind of a remainer and really expected the vote to go our way.
Felt devastated at the result; I am a believer in working closely with our neighbours, have lived in other Eu countries, have friends here from other EU countries who feel unwelcome etc etc. AND all the attachment to Europe stuff aside, it just seemed a far safer economic option to stay put. Why go for a bumpy ride when you don't even like where you're going? Also felt really cheated when people's reasons for leaving became clear.
I am amazed that some Remainers have just gone quiet and got weary of it all. As far as Leave voters, there has been plenty of "suck it up" comments and total quiet from others. It hasn't been long but time is not healing for me. In fact the Tory conference seemed to take the grimness up a notch. Still so upset and wanting to protest (and have done in every way that I can think of)
I am currently in groups with staunch Remainers like myself, so I know how they are feeling. Outside of that, it isn't an easy topic to discuss. Remainers, Leavers, non-voters, please could you tell me where you're at? TIA

[EastMidsMummy]

I still feel like all the Brexiters felt when Lady Di died.

[BananaPie]

I didn't say accept the democratic vote or stop whinging. It wasn't democracy when a huge number of the leave voters voted the way they did based on lies told during the campaign. I am certain it was the wrong decision and that the majority of people who voted leave will be worse off for it.

But it is happening. Best thing to do is to try and minimise the damage.

[Zeeandra]

I'm definitely a 'remoaner', too. I'm devestated at the injustice of it. Yes, there were people who were staunch brexiters no matter what anyone said. But so many people were taken in by the bald-faced lies of the Brexit team, and I simply can't accept that the result can stand when they all recanted their lies as soon as the vote was counted.

This. Also I've already seen some businesses go to the wall due to the dropping pound and many others freezing hiring. Lots of other companies affected by the crap exchange rates and struggling.

We've not even left yet.

We are hoping to emigrate but only if Hilary wins. A country run by trump I consider marginally worse than brexit...

[scatterolight]

I'm a Leaver. I do think that on the whole Remainers have taken "losing" far worse than Leavers would have done. I think perhaps this is due to a misconception of why the majority of Leavers voted the way they did. E.g. They must have voted to Leave because they were stupid and/or bad people. And what a terrible thing to be living in a country where the majority are stupid / bad.

If you have 15 mins I do recommend this Radio 4 programme from the perspective of Leave. It might reassure you as to their motivations...

www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b07ldrbk

Obviously you think the UK will be worse off economically but on that point there's nothing that can reassure you but time.

[Rach168]

I'm a remainer - I don't think about it 24-7 like I did in the first few weeks when I was just in a daze (and numbing it out with drink) but it has fundamentally changed my outlook on things like Britishness . (As a small example, I'm a big sports fan and recently there was an event for a sport I love in a city I've always wanted to visit but it was a national team against a foreign team and I knew I couldn't handle supporting "our team" being surrounded by all the Union Jacks etc.)

The only people this still regularly comes up with as a topic now is with my friends from EU countries (and other non-UK countries) and obviously they are worried and indignant when they consider how much they have contributed to this country that has been their home for many years. Among other friends, it isn't discussed as much apart from the odd comment that we're all up shit creek etc (Obviously, we haven't really seen what the economic impact will be yet so there will be other stages in this for everyone).

At first I hoped that it wouldn't happen (or maybe we'd become an EEA member or something) and signed petitions etc but now that is looking very unlikely so I don't know if there is anything to fight for in this - I think I've become more insular, resigned to things being shit, the country lurching further to the right etc - and all I can do is focus on my life, my local community andmaking sure my EU friends know that they are very welcome in our little part of the country at least.

[Mistigri]

I haven't and won't "move on" as I am in one of the most affected groups (exercising FoM).

The whole "remoaner" thing made me realise that many leave voters were really not interested in democracy at all. Democracy is safeguarded by opposition and free speech. And the whole point of an election cycle is that no political question is ever settled.

[melibu84]

I will never get over it.

And I wish the brexiters would stop telling us to accept democracy and get over it. We have free speech, which means we can complain about it as much as we effing like!

[KarlosKKrinkelbeim]

We have not even begun to plumb the depths of the complexity and turmoil that leaving will involve. We haven't even begun the process of leaving yet.
I have not yet come across a single leave voter who had even a faint grasp of how complex the process of leaving is. I'm sure they had many different motivations, but I've not met one yet who actually understood the enterprise they were Di keen to embark on, as the pro leave posts in this thread demonstrate.

[CousinCharlotte]

Yanbu

[alltouchedout]

I still feel awful. Actually I feel worse. This week's Tory conference has left me appalled at the direction were being taken in. I really, really want out. I've never felt the slightest urge to leave the UK but I find the future this government want to give us and the atmosphere created by such unabashed xenophobia unbearable. I feel grubby and embarrassed to be British right now.

[Bogeyface]

Whichever way you voted, it really doesnt matter and I dont get why there is a determination on the part of certain Bremainers to be "devastated" as long as possible.

The leavers dont care how you feel and everyone else is thinking that you need to stop being so dramatic and deal with it. Democracy means that sometimes you win, sometimes you dont. This time the Bremainers lost, thats life.

And slagging off anyone who points out the blindingly obvious, that you really do need to get over it, doesnt help get support for your pov. Nor does implying that anyone who voted leave is too stupid to understand what they were voting for.

[ThroughThickAndThin01]

I voted leave. No regrets.

[Zeeandra]

Obviously you think the UK will be worse off economically

I KNOW as I'm already seeing it affect friends and business partners. A close friend lost his business as the cost of his imported stock essentially shot up overnight. Anyone who works with US clients and gets paid in dollars has taken a massive hit, ditto anyone paid in Euros. Another friend is returning to work unexpectedly as her husbands contract work has dried up totally for the first time in 15 years...

All this and we've not even left yet.

[KarlosKKrinkelbeim]

"Democracy means sometimes you win, sometimes you don't"
God help us. It really is time we started teaching the constitution in schools, as the Americans do.

[specialsubject]

Brexiters and lady di. ... There is nothing like intellligent argument, is there?

[crazycatguy]

I voted Remain. I'm still slightly bitter. Been the victim of hate crime a few times since the result; twice where the police were involved. I'm white, middle class, professional, Anglophone, but foreign (non European) accent. Not justifying any hate but those demographics rarely get it.

Bit wary of talking in my overwhelmimgly Leave area.

Respect the decision but still don't agree it's the right move. I won't shut up and go away, those that lost in 1975 didn't for 41 years and neither should I.

When we leave, I'll be on my way out.

[fakenamefornow]

I feel grubby and embarrassed to be British right now.

Me too, we're an international laughing stock.

[Maddaddam]

I'm still gutted. But maybe I'm helped by the fact that nearly everyone I meet at work is too. I'm an academic and for years was funded by EU money for research (all about parental leave and gender equality and employment rights). Lots of my colleagues and students are from the EU so it's a topic that people keep bringing up. And nearly everyone is still very upset. Some are leaving. I would move abroad at this point too but am a bit stuck with children in exam years for the moment. It does help though that it's so commonly viewed as as utter disaster in the science and research world.

[Niamer]

I do think that on the whole Remainers have taken "losing" far worse than Leavers would have done.

I agree. I think that is because we woke up in a changed country on 24 June. I totally took freedom of movement for granted before and love our multi-cultural society. Of course, it will still be multi-cultural, but I do think our reputation as an open and tolerant society has been damaged and all the lovely people who would have come here , just won't. I wouldn't, if I were them.

One solution is to up and go to live elsewhere. Part of me may be tempted but I have ties here and love the UK. But I love the UK within the EU , less so as a xenophobic little island .

[KarlosKKrinkelbeim]

My international colleagues literally think we have gone mad.

[MistressMolecules]

I voted remain, would do the same again. I was devastated and still am. Everytime I think there is a little bit of hope that we may stay TM and her arsewipe cronies pull new stunts just to put the boot in some more.

I am lucky that I can get Irish citizenship not that I can currently afford to (and my children can't). I was hoping that Nicola Sturgeon may call indyref2 and then I could apply for Scottish Citizenship (and my children WOULD be entitled to that) but it appears that TM is considering removing Scotland's devolved powers if I read the article right (I read it yesterday but was sleep deprived so may have misunderstood).

All this listing foreign workers is bullshit, getting rid of drs not born in britain is fucking disgusting. I am ashamed to call myself british/english. So in answer to your question YANBU and you are not alone in how you feel.

[MakemineaGandT]

I feel exactly like you OP.

I feel horror at all that is now to be done in the name of Brexit as "it's the will of the people". So much being read into that "leave the EU" vote. But don't complain or you are "attempting to subvert democracy". Democracy my arse.

[ZenNudist]

I'm a remainer. Feeling how you do I think you need to direct your energy into something positive. Joining lib dems and campaigning for a pro Europe politics has got to be one of the better options.

Personally I'm just holding on to see what happens. I think we are now in the school of saying one thing but doing another. Actions will matter, not all the endless hogwash that the Tory Brexit wankers and EU leaders posturing will come out with.

The sad fact is that taken to it's logical conclusion this Brexit debacle has to play out. It's a juggernaut. Both sides (U.K. And EU) will come out of it badly. It's going to take over a decade to reset onto a better path. We have to trust that things will come right again. It's going to get a lot worse before it can get better.

My heart breaks for all the people who have been so conned as to think that Brexit is the answer to their woes. I think it's going to hit hard when the lower growth manifests as lower tax take, translates into even less money for public services, translates into a very bad start in life for their kids, or a grim end of life for ailing elderly parents. Lower foreign investment in the U.K. Means less jobs for those who badly need it.

But hey ho you can go be a cleaner or a mushroom picker or a seasonal worker once we kick out the Romanians and the Poles who do those jobs now. Or train as a doctor. Give it 5 years and you too can be working all the hours god sends in the NHS (if it's not been replaced by US style insurance based healthcare). Jesus wept I can't help but rant about how badly things are going for this country.

Not so long ago I felt like the country could be wrestled back from the brink. Now we have just got to bide our time. Hope for better for our kids eh?

[Mistigri]

Me too, we're an international laughing stock.

This. All my overseas colleagues are completely bemused at the whole thing, which they see as unprovoked economic self-harm. The Chinese in particular think have collectively lost our marbles.

[Burntcustard]

I also have not moved on and after the Tory conference, it looks like we will be going for a stupidly hard Brexit. There is no indication that we will get anything other than a shit settlement, and international companies will vote with their feet.

I will check out the iPlayer link, as I cannot think of a single reason I respect for voting Brexit. Honestly, I would not be - and am not to my knowledge - friends with a Brexit voter as their values are so different from all I respect and value - tolerance, internationalism, reason, co-operation, curiosity about other cultures and yes, being a European.