I'm a (still) devastated remainer. Like a pp up thread, I saw this coming as I have friends and family from so many different backgrounds. I have a community based job that is all about grass roots activism and community cohesion so I know how divided my (70% leave) area is, particularly over matters to do with race (although I know it's unpopular to discuss the race issues of Brexit). I think the popular (largely Murdoch owned) press had a lot to do with the outcome also.
I am a poor, working class, northerner, directly descended from German/Ukraine Jewish immigrants so quite far from the description of remainers as middle class elite. I feel British and I feel European and I was very proud of both these elements to my heritage until now. I no longer recognise my country and feel ashamed of my Britishness and I'm about to lose my European identity also. Yes, I understand that we are still in Europe but the brexit result and rise in xenophobia gives the impression that we don't value our involvement with the continent. There are many saying Britain can manage without the EU and say the world is clamouring to do trade deals with us which also gives the impression that we are somehow superior. I have seen many leavers say they hope the EU project fails without really understanding that will cause economic ripples around the globe and will affect us, even if we leave, much like the banking crash in the USA did. On the 22nd June, all the EU countries lit their buildings with the union flag in a display of solidarity. And we threw it back in their faces. No wonder they are smarting from that rejection.
What has been so difficult (apart from the rise in hate crime and the uncertainty) is the polarising affect of the referendum which is what has truly changed this country. There are no nuanced answers to Brexit. You are a leaver therefore you are racist, hate foreigners, you are stupid, you are brainwashed, you love your country, you are brave, you are a winner. If you are a remainer you love the eu and do not recognise it's flaws, you are brainwashed, you hate your country, you want it to fail, you are a middle class elitist, you are a loser. You can be nothing in between. It highlights the British culture which is built on division: north/south, left/right, English/Scottish/Welsh/Irish, supporter of whatever rival football team. I don't think we recognise just how patriotic/nationalistic we are. It's part of the UK psyche. We recognise it in Americans but we are just the same but in a different way. The referendum and campaign played on this and just made those divisions deeper. We can now also divide ourselves accordingly as remainers/leavers.
What is also worrying is how TMay has jumped on this division to decide that all leavers supported her vision of Brexit and the change of language that mimics a lot of what I see and hear from leavers. She described human rights lawyers as 'activist left[ies]' as if that's a bad thing, critiqued those who are internationalist, talking quite openly in a 'them and us' way when referring to those who are not British born. She is wholesale rejecting anything borne of our European involvement (even when those ideas were initiated by the UK) including the Human Rights Act, the ECHR and the ECJ. I am horrified at this tone and these policies but because it's now become a competition, people are wholesale agreeing with her when only membership of the EU was up for the vote.
Direct democracy/referenda doesn't work. I wonder how people feel about the result of the Colombian referendum result? It is clear from anyone with any objectivity that it was a mistake for the Columbian people to reject a peace deal that will save lives. The result was very close and according to my Colombian friends, swayed by their right wing media and those who live in other countries or urban areas who are not as affected by the atrocities. I guess that's still democracy?
I miss the days before the referendum when even though there was some division and many problems, it all still felt possible. I felt hopeful. Now I have an undercurrent of hopelessness and fear of what is happening and what is to come. Sometimes I feel despondent and wish I didn't care. Sometimes I wish I'd voted leave (and I did consider it from a Lexit perspective but quickly rejected this as impossible under a Tory government) just so I wouldn't have such a vested interest. I hear people saying get behind Brexit to make the most of it but what can we do now? It is all in the hands of politicians I didn't vote for, a PM that got in with a manifesto that has never been put to the public vote. We are at their mercy. There is no control, there never was, they were lying when they said control is what we were voting for.
Despite that, I still aim to do my bit. I'm still doing community work (now as a volunteer as my funding has been cut). I want to get more involved in campaigns that aim to hold the media and politicians to account. Whatever way you voted, what we should all be able to agree to is that the media gets away with far too much spin and politicians can say whatever they like. If we are ever to decide for ourselves what is right then we can only do that with cold, hard facts. The media is a mainstay of any healthy democracy but they are failing us abysmally.