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AIBU?

School runs arent that difficult?

281 replies

Mildinsanity · 05/10/2016 09:22

AIBU?
My DP and I work full time with a 1.5hr commute eith way so DCs dad comes and does the childcare/ school runs etc.

End of last term I recieved a letter from the school saying the DCs are repeatedly late in and if it continues they will make a report to the welfare people.

I spoke to DCs dad and he apologised and said it wont happen again and he'll ensure they get there on time.

Which brings us to today, I have a very rare day off work (own buisness so DP and I schedules are usually jam packed to try and make ends meet) and DCs dad says he will still do the school run.
He arrives at 7am as usual and gets the kids up so I can try and get some rest.
8.50 and they have only just left (school starts at 8.50 and its a 10 minute walk).

Now it could be they are having a particulary bad morning but I dont believe thats the case.

I went downstairs to hurry them up at 8.30 because I know they should be ready and leaving and they werent even dressed ready, I hurried them to get dressed as they were apparently ignoring their dad but he didnt seem all that bothered to encorage them as he was outside with a fag.

If this is what it is like everyday no wonder they are late, he just doesnt seem bothered and says they wont listen to him.
I think its his job as a parent (he doesnt work btw) to make them listen and ensure they leave on time.

AIBU to think it doesnt take nearly 2 hours to get 4 DCs (3,6,7,8) ready for school?

OP posts:

Report

Finola1step · 05/10/2016 09:41

newmum I think the DP is not the father of the dc. So the ex comes in each morning to do the morning stuff, school run etc. So he is the other parent.

VioletBam · 05/10/2016 09:41

He has no excuse! Yes it's a bit tricky when they're small but you have to focus. In your shoes I would consider a childminder instead or take over the runs myself it's not fair on the children to be late all the time.

TooGood2BeFalse · 05/10/2016 09:41

Also think that while it's great you have a good relationship with your ex to the point he can come into your's and your DPS home to get the kids ready every day, I think you should be helping if possible - 4 young kids is a lot to organise in the morning, it's not just 'his' responsibility because you have a commute!

Finola1step · 05/10/2016 09:42

Sorry newmyn x post!

PeppasNanna · 05/10/2016 09:42

Is it the dc father (exdp) coming to the house?

dustarr73 · 05/10/2016 09:42

No but you know they are constantly late for school but lie in bed till 8.30.And i dont understand if you have a day off and the kids live wiht you why drag someone out to do the school run.When you are already there

Finola1step · 05/10/2016 09:42

newmum even!

JenLindleyShitMom · 05/10/2016 09:42

No, it's really not that hard. Childminder's would be out of business if it was really that difficult to get a few children to school on time. Many of them have their mindees from 7 or before and receive them in their Pyjamas so are doing all that your EX is having to do. It's only difficult if you actually can't be arsed doing it so half ass it all the way.

Mildinsanity · 05/10/2016 09:43

NEWMUM he is there dad so no I dont pay him.

Yes I have a DP and we both work 6 days a week.
EXH - Kids dad doesnt work nor is willing to, does the childcare when Im working.

DP and I have to work to pay for the DCs and the house, EXH doesnt financially contribute so this is his way of contributing.

OP posts:

Seeline · 05/10/2016 09:43

What time are you normally up if you are at work?
You said your Ex normally arrives at 7 - could you not start getting the DCs up before then? At least if they've started breakfast before he arrives it would help.
I only had 2 to do the school run, and was a SAHM, but it was like herding cats most mornings - as soon as you had one sat eating/or dressing/ or doing teeth, the other one would have disappeared again.

PeppasNanna · 05/10/2016 09:43

Aren't the dc stressed with being late regularly?

Mojito6 · 05/10/2016 09:43

As you run your own business can you adjust your working hours so you can do the school run? You don't want welfare to be called about this I imagine

mothermother · 05/10/2016 09:44

i have four children aged 4,7,7 and 9 and we get up at 7.45 and are all ready by 8.20 ( cereal breakfast and uniform ) i make their lunch boxes while they dress themselves and and iron their uniform and lay it out night before. Girls brush their hair and put a bow and that's it. i can do it in 20 minutes if i had to

HeyNannyNanny · 05/10/2016 09:44

Do you and DP live together?
Im impressed that you are so amicable that your ex can come into your house whilst you're in bed and sort your kids. That's amazing. My Dad took every opportunity to harass my Mum when he visited

PeppasNanna · 05/10/2016 09:44

You need to find an alternative...

mimishimmi · 05/10/2016 09:45

It could easily take that long with 4 kids. Does your ex look after them in the afternoon too?

JenLindleyShitMom · 05/10/2016 09:45

I am at all these suggestions that OP should get them ready herself, use a childminder, take them herself. he is their parent. The DCs clearly live with OP so she is doing all the evening and night time stuff. What on earth prevents this other adult human from parenting his own children without OP having to make the job as easy as possible for him?

PeppasNanna · 05/10/2016 09:45

Ive 4 dc. 2 with SN. All of us ready by 7.30.
It can be done.

lizardslounging · 05/10/2016 09:46

Instead of being annoyed (I totally get this by the way I would be really cross that school had had to tell me this!). But - some people have organisational skills and some don't!

Can you give ExH a list, and some people need a list, the kids might need a different list to help them be more independent, eventually.

Themoreitsnowstiddlypom · 05/10/2016 09:46

I think it can be very hard getting kids ready and out the door, that said mind, I do get them to school on time.
I think if their Dad is busy having a tab outside and moaning that their not taking any notice of him, maybe he's the wrong person to be getting them to school.
You do need the ability to get past the constant dithering, whining, bickering and the I'm to tired or busy doing something useless things that kids do and be able to get them into gear. I have two I cant imagine four, flipping heck it would drive me mad, but again you do need to grab the bull by the horns and just get on with it, it is certainly not impossible to get them there on time, maybe he's just to horizontal to get that job done?

PeppasNanna · 05/10/2016 09:46

But at the dc cost Jen

dustarr73 · 05/10/2016 09:46

Well the current situation is not working.Could you get them up,dressed and dropped to his house on the your way too work.

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JenLindleyShitMom · 05/10/2016 09:47

These responses are so depressing

Mildinsanity · 05/10/2016 09:47

For those suggesting I get the DCs ready before work, I leave at 7am every morning if I got the kids up and ready before then as well as myself they would need to be up at 6am and would then have an 1.5hours before leaving for school.

EXH has 1.5 hours in the morning to get them dressed, looking presentable in the mornings.

OP posts:

JenLindleyShitMom · 05/10/2016 09:48

But at the dc cost Jen

Yes their father is making their mornings very difficult.

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