School runs arent that difficult?

[Mildinsanity]

AIBU?
My DP and I work full time with a 1.5hr commute eith way so DCs dad comes and does the childcare/ school runs etc.

End of last term I recieved a letter from the school saying the DCs are repeatedly late in and if it continues they will make a report to the welfare people.

I spoke to DCs dad and he apologised and said it wont happen again and he'll ensure they get there on time.

Which brings us to today, I have a very rare day off work (own buisness so DP and I schedules are usually jam packed to try and make ends meet) and DCs dad says he will still do the school run.
He arrives at 7am as usual and gets the kids up so I can try and get some rest.
8.50 and they have only just left (school starts at 8.50 and its a 10 minute walk).

Now it could be they are having a particulary bad morning but I dont believe thats the case.

I went downstairs to hurry them up at 8.30 because I know they should be ready and leaving and they werent even dressed ready, I hurried them to get dressed as they were apparently ignoring their dad but he didnt seem all that bothered to encorage them as he was outside with a fag.

If this is what it is like everyday no wonder they are late, he just doesnt seem bothered and says they wont listen to him.
I think its his job as a parent (he doesnt work btw) to make them listen and ensure they leave on time.

AIBU to think it doesnt take nearly 2 hours to get 4 DCs (3,6,7,8) ready for school?

[NNChangeAgain]

Ex has a very limited set of sanctions at his disposal if the DC misbehave without OP agreeing to support him.

YY, this is what I was trying, badly, to explain upthread. The parent doing the school run is the NRP. From the DCs point of view, he arrives every morning when mum and stepdad leave, then rushes them to get ready to leave themselves. Anyone who thinks a child will behave in the same way in that situation as they will with their RP knows very little about DCs.

And what options are available to the Dad? His only recourse is to get "heavy" with them; he can't penalise them by removing privileges such as TV, games etc - they're not given by him to take away.

[rockcake]

YANBU! it's not that hard if you can be bothered to get a grip on the basics of life and bring kids up the same way. Plenty of parents manage school run in addition to work, home matters and hobbies etc, without thinking twice fgs.....

[Maireadplastic]

Get them dressed first before everything else. Then it doesn't matter what happens, they will be ready.

[Benedikte2]

I detect her the same mindset which expresses how wonderful a father is if he does something a mother is expected to do as a matter of course! The OP is and has struggled to support her children with no visible support from their father and when he is asked (and agrees) to do one task to help he fails miserably and people rush to find excuses and say the OP should be doing more to help him!
I think the OP should lay it on the line and tell him he has two options -- either to pull his head in and get the children to school on time or get a job and pay for a childminder. Two hours a day of contact with his children getting them dressed and ready for school is hardly comparable with what be expected of him in full time employment.
I hope your hard work results in a very successful business OP.
Good luck

[PunkrockerGirl]

Selfimproved
Not odd at all love. Nothing wrong with a break time snack when the dc have been up since 6 (and they had breakfast before they left). You're the one saying that there's nothing wrong sending your kids in to school with their breakfast to eat at break. Bravo for doing a better job than the rest of us with our pampered, over eating apple fed children
And bravo to you for deliberately misinterpreting my post. I can only say how it was for my dc. It sounds like I touched a nerve, you're the one who mentioned 'pampered kids'. Sometimes the cap fits .....

[user1471544305]

Hey your kids alarm clocks and teach them that they have to start getting ready when it goes off, then when the next alarm goes off they have to do teeth and hair and when the last one goes off they have to leave the house. Routine your kids need a routine and you need to train them take a week taking them yourself and try the clocks.