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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

It's normal to look at the toilet paper, after you wipe, isn't it?

63 replies

MissWLopez · 04/10/2016 23:23

My son is at nursery. He started in January - he's almost 4.

He's fully potty trained. However, when he had just learnt to wipe, nursery still helped him. We had no issues, he knew to wipe until he was clean, etc.

Then he began to just continuously wipe - went through a whole roll of paper, etc. or he just left himself dirty, after 1 wipe. I spoke to his Key Worker, who told me that she had told him to stop looking at the toilet paper after each wipe this was then causing an issue, as he'd take 30 mins in the loo, using up a whole toilet paper, or he'd need changing as soon as he got home (due to dirty underwear) she said that she won't encourage 'bad toilet manners' surely that isn't bad manners!? No one is even around! It just seems the most sensible thing to do.

So, tell me, it's not unreasonable to look at the toilet paper, after a wipe, is it!?

OP posts:

blueistheonlycolourwefeel · 04/10/2016 23:26

That's bonkers!! Of course it's ok to look at the paper!

HappyAxolotl · 04/10/2016 23:26

Of course you look - not the nicest thing to look at but how else do you know you've got yourself fully clean?

Madness!

AppleJac · 04/10/2016 23:29

I look every single time even if it was just a wee.

PoisonWitch · 04/10/2016 23:29

Of course you check! You keep wiping until the paper comes away clean.

Who does she think tells him when he is clean? The arse fairies?

PoisonWitch · 04/10/2016 23:30

Yy to checking even for a wee. That's how you get early warning for periods or general chaos down there.

Original poster

MissWLopez · 04/10/2016 23:31

AppleJac - me too!

arse fairies

I'm so glad I haven't been doing it wrong all my life...

OP posts:

sleepwhatsleep · 04/10/2016 23:32

It's healthy to look! Otherwise how else do you know you're clean? Also good to check for any worrying signs such as bleeding.

Its a bit bizzare to be honest. The use of the word manners is confusing. Does she expect him to be pooing often in public, so it is polite to make sure no poo is seen by someone nearby?

Probably more likely she was offended by seeing it.

ProseccoBitch · 04/10/2016 23:34

YANBU !

Amethyst81 · 04/10/2016 23:34

Anyone who says they don't are lying! YANBU.

ChequeOff · 04/10/2016 23:35

Haha

The use of the word manners is confusing. Does she expect him to be pooing often in public, so it is polite to make sure no poo is seen by someone nearby?

RazWaz · 04/10/2016 23:35

How else are you going to know your done?

Bowel health is very important and bring squeamish about seeing your own waste means potential health problems are missed or diagnosed late (which can make things so much worse). Children shouldn't be taught that looking is wrong as it creates hang-ups later in life that could have serious consequences.

Queenbean · 04/10/2016 23:36

That's how you see... general chaos down there.

Often I've looked down to find several lost commuters trying to find the rail replacement bus from Kings Cross. Utter chaos.

sleepwhatsleep · 04/10/2016 23:36

I wonder if she applies this rule to other things in life.

It kind of reminds me of that baby shower game where you have to put a nappy on a baby while blindfolded.

BackforGood · 04/10/2016 23:42

That's completely bonkers. Surely that's what you teach them - to wipe until there is nothing left 'coming off on to the paper'.

LucyBabs · 04/10/2016 23:45

Your childs keyworker is an arsehole. Ask her what she does after she does a poo

GardenGeek · 04/10/2016 23:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lanaorana1 · 04/10/2016 23:49

You need to look, I'd say - for kids as a clean check and for adults as a health check.

Ilovetorrentialrain · 04/10/2016 23:54

Oh bless him! Bet he was confused by that. Key worker is wrong. Your son and how you've taught him OP are right. Of course you have to look.

CrazyNameCrazyGuy · 04/10/2016 23:54

Of course you check the loo paper to make sure all the poop is off your bum. She's a crazy woman with skidmarks

I hope the delicate little flower never visits the Netherlands. They have inspection shelves in some loos so you can have a good old gander at what's just been expelled.

SecretNutellaFix · 04/10/2016 23:55

It's not as if he sniffs and licks the paper after looking is it? That would be bad toilet manners.

Ask his worker how she checks she's clean when she has wiped.

AmeliaJack · 04/10/2016 23:59

If he's nearly 4 presumably he's going to the loo alone? Or is she going in with him?

I'd tell him to do it your way but make sure that he isn't using excessive loo roll (presumably her concern is blockages).

Original poster

MissWLopez · 05/10/2016 00:02

Thank goodness!

He never used excessive loo roll, he used enough until it was clean. He now sometimes just keeps wiping and putting the loo roll in the loo, without looking, so it just goes on forever! That's causing more of an issue.

He had someone take him until 3 and a half, this is when she started telling him, so he started doing that at school and then gradually at home now too

OP posts:

Muzzcub · 05/10/2016 00:14

The arse fairies

Ditsy4 · 05/10/2016 00:18

That's weird. In Social Services nurseries we had to teach the kids how to use the toilet because no one had at home. Included bum wiping, not smear on the wall( sorry) or stuffing loo with paper.

arse fairies
general chaos

e1y1 · 05/10/2016 00:24

Of course you look, and keep wiping until the paper comes away clean.

Can get a right sore bum if it isn't properly clean.

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