Would this annoy you? My mum always makes out that DH and I are poor

[MoonBabyMoonBaby]

DH and I both have decently paid jobs and a comfortable lifestyle. My Dsis and her husband both have jobs of a similar nature/pay and enjoy a comfortable lifestyle too. My Dsis has always been favoured by my mum.

My mum constantly makes comments making out that DH and I are poor and that my sister and BIL are not poor. For example we have decorated our living room in the past few weeks and bought new furniture. I spoke to my mum on the phone last night and she said we'd done well decorating it especially since we "Only have DH's and my earnings coming in". I said we both earn a decent salary but she just ignored me. We get comments like this ALL THE TIME! It infuriates me. She will then in the next breath start talking about what a good job my sister has and about how they can afford expensive things.

She also, all the time goes on and on about how she hates the benefits system but doesn't mind paying into the system at the moment as DH and I apparently get benefits. We get no benefits at all, not even child benefit, and no matter how many times I re-iterate that we don't get any benefits she still seems to think that we do.

She also quizzes me all the time about everything that the DCs and I wear, asking if it's new and how much did it cost, and making comments like "I don't know, all these new clothes, wasting money that you don't have", even when we are not wearing anything new at all and I've never ever said to her that I spend money that we don't have.

AIBU to be pissed off with these comments?

Just run with it, she'll find it really annoying when you say 'yes the benefits are a huge help' and 'we'd love a take away but can't afford it' look her straight in the eye and don't hide the hint of sarcasm/mocking and I'm sure her fun at saying these stupid things will be neutralised.

at florin. We are getting to the stage where we'll sell a child on ebay for some decent storage boxes. And before anyone mentions trofast, we have them, they're full to the brim!

Tell her you put it all on credit cards hoping you are going to get your inheritance and would she mind not spending so much of said inheritance cos you are relying on it.

Someone said earlier in the thread that people tend to take a view on you and then stick to it. We had a young cousin that as a teenager we would pay for, take her for meals and treats etc along with our own kids. Now she is nearly 40 and she (and now her husband too) still expects us to pay for everything when we go out, even though they are earning 4 times as much as us.

YANBU
Several things are going on here. She is being extremely rude and inconsiderate, but disguising it as concern. She is doing this to play you off against your sister, which is a tactic to control both of you.
Perhaps your sister/mum enjoy making thenselves feel better about themselves by slagging you off behind your back (Your DSis could be fuelling this).
You are allowed to have boundaries. It's none of her business. If you say this is hurting your feelings you are entitled to expect your feelings to be given merit.

People have complex, emotional and illogical responses to money, material goods and social status and often these have quite deeply-embedded significance to us that we might be completely oblivious to. This is complicated by the fact that the relative availability and affordability of some goods, eg clothing or electrical items, has changed a lot, even in the last decade or two.
My boyfriend through uni and in my early 20s as a medical student. When we split up (one of the best decisions I ever made) my DM couldn't hide her disappointment that I wasn't going to be a doctor's wife
My DSis1 and her DP (let's call him Bob) live in an ok but nothing special flat he inherited from his parents. They run their own business, which is struggling mostly cos Bob is an idiot and Bob persuaded my DSis to put her redundancy payoff towards a flashy car to "impress clients". My DM can't stop going on about how well they're doing.
DSis2 works in London, in a tech job my DM doesn't understand, is buying a nice flat, but my DM still thinks of her as a silly kid, and if I point out that DSis2 has a good degree and is doing well in a career she loves, DM pulls a face and says but she can't afford a car (she could but it'd be more hassle than it's worth). DM also complains that DSis2 wastes money on clothes and can't seem to grasp that she buys most of them on EBay for next to nothing.
I find this situation enraging mostly because it seems so unfair, so I've found it interesting to read how many people have the same problem.
I can't figure out in my situation if DM is actually over-compensating, eg she does know deep down that DSis1 isn't actually that well-off and is trying to say nice things about her anyway, but it's the fact that she boasts so much about it that winds me up. I've resolved to try and ignore it as DM seems so set in her ways.

YANBU. She's being silly and childish. Tell her to quit it, and from that point onwards if she makes another comment you put the phone down.

Could save money at Christmas, just tell you couldn't afford a bug present for the family. Lol

I thought everyone got Child Benefit??? I've just checked and you have to pay tax on it if you earn over £100k per year. How can your mam think you poor if you earn £2000 per week and over £8000 pcm?

I'd have to directly say something. In fact I'd be challenging and go with something like 'Mother, why is it that you think we are poor? Both dh and I earn a good salary, we do not recieve any benefits, we can afford nice things and have no money worries at all. Why do you insist differently?'

I certainly don't get child benefit as a single mother. Plenty of us don't even if we pay £30k a year childcre for 3 children in full time childcare and have a massive mortgage. The days of c hild benefits for all even single mothers has long gone.

Oh OP, this reminds me of my DM. She points out my possessions or holidays and says 'all paid for by MY taxes' whilst raising her eyebrows.....thing is DH and I have civil service jobs. Her taxes pay for even the flowers on my kitchen table, but my DB is too clever to work.......