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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that this is inappropriate?

161 replies

cerealnamechangers · 03/10/2016 16:29

An acquaintance on Facebook posted a picture of her toddler son with the caption 'jack was howling on the school run today and people were commenting saying oh poor him, well no quite frankly he's just being a twat and I'm allowed to say that because he's my child' she then posted an update later ' received some lovely messages from my rant this morning some people are afraid to state the truth but I'm not if you've never referred to your toddler as a twat then you are a liar' I have since unfriended her as I think referring to a child as a twat is disgusting and I can't see the funny side of it to be honest. Have I just lost my sense of humour?

OP posts:
2kids2dogsnosense · 03/10/2016 16:57

DramaQueen

You must be in a different part of the Uk - it is practically an endearment here in the NE.

Trifleorbust · 03/10/2016 16:59

It's not that bad. "Monkey" conveys something quite different to "twat" anyway, so I wouldn't use the former in place of the latter.

MyEternalSunshine · 03/10/2016 16:59

2kids2dogs

Completely agree! East anglia over here and think we call each other 'daft twats' everyday of the week Smile

cerealnamechangers · 03/10/2016 17:00

Myeternal, i can swear with the best of them! I just think calling your child a twat on social media for everyone to see crosses the line, the child could find that later in life or future employers, I think it's a very bad move but in the privacy of your own home to your partner or best friend, swear away!

OP posts:
BolshierAryaStark · 03/10/2016 17:00

She was just venting, you don't like it, fair enough but it isn't 'innapropriate'
Twat is most definitely not on a par with cunt though both can & are used by me in an endearing way, bugger on the other hand has an awful meaning so certainly wouldn't use it as a describer for DC.

GabsAlot · 03/10/2016 17:00

twats prob a b it harsh bit its her ds i ssuppose she can call him hat she likes

i persoanlly think the parents who gush over their kids every waking moment and put it on fb is more disturbing

SatsukiKusakabe · 03/10/2016 17:01

I don't like it either. It's nothing like brat except in sound. One means badly behaved child, and the other is slang for a woman's genitals that has also evolved to be an insulting term for stupidity.

Inappropriate, yes, entirely suitable word for what it is.

People seem to love to take a stand about the smallest, silliest things now, falling over themselves to "tell the truth" about something, so much so they are running out of stuff. Let's all liberate ourselves and call our children names on a public forum, we've been silent and oppressed too long. What is achieved by it? Throwing your child under the bus so you can pat yourself on the back for having done your best and survived a toddler tantrum, when's wine o clock, tedious. Some things best left unsaid.

StealthPolarBear · 03/10/2016 17:01

I was just about to say I Houghton it was a regional thing, I don't think bugger or rear are mild at all...but I'm I'm the ne too!

DollyBarton · 03/10/2016 17:02

I don't think I'd post it on Facebook but have no issue with it.

pictish · 03/10/2016 17:04

Well...I probably wouldn't do it myself but I'm not disgusted or outraged by it either. Think you're getting your knickers in a knot over nothing here.

BuggerMyOldBoots · 03/10/2016 17:05

I can't get offended over twat, but I find all this cool, edgy, tell it like it is parenting a bit tedious. It was refreshing when it first became a "thing" but now it's like a competition

exLtEveDallas · 03/10/2016 17:06

Is it the word twat that has got to you? Around here that's not seen as 'bad' swear word.

I've called DD a 'little shit' and a complete 'pain in my arse'. I've also told her off (to her face) for acting like a dick. Sometimes kids really are little shits.

(And if she's said it on FB about her toddler he's hardly going to be able to read it is he?)

GabsAlot · 03/10/2016 17:09

can someone send me some friends who call their kids twats everyone on my list think the sunshines out of their arses

LunaMay · 03/10/2016 17:09

Twat isn't a big deal around here and definitely not on par with cunt although calling a child a toe rag would raise some eyebrows Confused funny that.

pictish · 03/10/2016 17:13

Round here twat and nob are almost affectionate.

yorkshapudding · 03/10/2016 17:13

I wouldn't say it on FB or in earshot of my DC but I've certainly thought it a few times!

ShmooBooMoo · 03/10/2016 17:16

It's absolutely vile! Pest, nuisance, menace, yes, but not twat. I think she enjoys being controversial and getting a reaction. Quite pathetic really. The idea it's her child so she can say what she likes is abhorrent. I would have unfriended her too as we'd clearly have different standards. I wouldn't call my dog a twat, let alone a child.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 03/10/2016 17:17

Can't understand why anyone would post such a thing on FB. Not at all nice.

On a slightly different tack, you have to watch what you call them in case it turns round to bite you...
Friend who worked in a nursery once asked the kids (no more than 3 or 4) what their mummies called them.
They came up with things like 'my little sweetie' or 'honey pie' or 'my little soldier'.
Except for one little girl. 'My mummy calls me a little cow. She says, "You little cow!"' 😱

pictish · 03/10/2016 17:18

I call my kids toerags all the time! "Ye wee toerag!"
Who takes offence at toerag?

ShmooBooMoo · 03/10/2016 17:18

I've overheard parents calling their children twat, fucker etc in public places. It literally turns my stomach. God knows how they are spoken to behind closed doors.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 03/10/2016 17:19

It's her FB page, she can post whatever she likes tbh, it's up to you if you want to hide her posts.

TrillKitten · 03/10/2016 17:25

So.. hang on. Your friend posted to Facebook with a sentiment you don't mind overmuch, but using a slang/swear word you personally don't like - and you were so affected you started a thread here about it? Hmm

That seems ... disproportionate.

pictish · 03/10/2016 17:26

Schmoo she didn't say it to him.

Google 'kids are dicks' to find a plentiful selection of published articles in the same vein.

ZippyNeedsFeeding · 03/10/2016 17:27

I call my children rotten little snots sometimes, but there are three rules for this (and other insults);
-never in public
-never in front of the child in question
-never in writing

This way the kid has one less reason to hate me, and it can't come back and haunt me if there is no written proof.Hopefully.

Honeybee79 · 03/10/2016 17:31

I often say to my DH or close friends that DS has behaved like a "little bastard". I would never say it in front of him obviously, or online . . . .

Not a term I would like to see used on FB in relation to a child I think.

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