To think that this is inappropriate?

[cerealnamechangers]

An acquaintance on Facebook posted a picture of her toddler son with the caption 'jack was howling on the school run today and people were commenting saying oh poor him, well no quite frankly he's just being a twat and I'm allowed to say that because he's my child' she then posted an update later ' received some lovely messages from my rant this morning some people are afraid to state the truth but I'm not if you've never referred to your toddler as a twat then you are a liar' I have since unfriended her as I think referring to a child as a twat is disgusting and I can't see the funny side of it to be honest. Have I just lost my sense of humour?

[MammaBear091114]

She's not said this to her child, she's just had a moan on facebook, I don't see twat as a horrible word but some people are more offended by certain words than others. I don't say stuff like this to my child but I might say to my DH when he gets home, oh our son has been a little twat / bugger today - it depends what part of the country your from I think as to what words are more offensive.

2kids2dogsnosense - I'd never call my child a 'waster', what's worse than calling your child a waste of space?!?!

[kungfupannda]

Sounds like she was on the receiving end of lots of fake sympathy and judging on the school run and needed to let off steam, as well as making a bit of a point about the 'oh poor boy' crowd.

I probably wouldn't post that on Facebook as chances are that someone would have a sense of humour failure, but twat is a running joke among the mums I know. Someone once said (not in front of the child) that their toddler was being an absolute twat. Now it's the go-to term for pain-in-the-backside toddler behaviour.

Mum 1: How was Bob yesterday?
Mum 2: Twat.
Mum 1: Ah.

Maybe posting it on Facebook was a bit much, but I'd struggle to judge her. She sounds at the end of her tether - probably as much with the reactions of people around her as with the child himself.

[ScaredFuture99]

I think my issue is more about what there is around the word twat in this case than the word itself.

The way she posted on FB says loud and clear that she meant twat as an insult, being a pain and stupid etc...
All the stuff being 'not being afraid to say the truth' and 'being a liar'....

So the way I would read that would be not as a mild insult (but then is that ever ok to insult your child anyway?) but as something much stronger.

It is completely different than a parent saying 'oh he was just being a twat' in a gentle amused way iyswim.

[ScaredFuture99]

As for being at the end of your tether (and therefore it's ok to be angry, insult etc...)

This is the Internet. Whatever is being put on there will stay so that child is likely to have access to that in a few years time. Everyone around has access to that. And wo talking of the risk of someone from work, family and whatever coming across that.
Is that really the sort of image you want to give to people?

So do we all loose our rags at some point? Yes of course. Are you all arriving at the end of our tether and struggling? Yes again.
I'm not sure that showcasing that reaction is the best idea ever though....

[Zbag14]

I think you're overreacting. I call my child a twat all the time.. I guess the difference is I wouldn't say it out loud or on FB.

[Kellnic]

Hi, when I was a teenager my grandad overheard me using the "t" word. Never had I ever seen him so upset and angry. He explained that it was the most derogatory term for women, the same as the c word. As he so rarely got annoyed with people and witnessed the most most horrendous things in WW2 I took his advice seriously that it was a word never to be uttered or encouraged again! Generally speaking, we don't like the c word, do we... While I'm not no prude, sometimes only choice words will do for certain situations, if we want to encourage respect in society, and our children, we should be respectful ourselves.

[SatsukiKusakabe]

Agree with both your posts scaredfurture and kellnic

[ItsJustNotRight]

Kellnic i had a similar reaction from my mum, way back when, it was absolutely off the scale of swearing, far out there beyond fuck or cunt. Meanings change over time and there are always regional differences about what's acceptable. We had a new teacher from Ireland and when she heard us London girls call each other a cow she went ballistic. Her view was it was the equivalent of calling someone a prostitute. We had never heard anything so ridiculous, to us it was just everyday speak, pretty much like twat seems to have become over the yrs. i heard the same comments about the word cow from a northerner who said he was mortified when he moved to London and heard women using it to each other, he claimed it was fighting talk up north. I've still never called anyone a twat - except perhaps Jeremy Hunt.

[Benedikte2]

Off thread. The poet Robert Browning used the word t**t in one of his poems because he thought it was a nun's head dress! His supporters were mortified but didn't tell him because they didn't want to embarrass him. So regarded as offensive in the 19th Century

[Benedikte2]

In NZ and Australia bugger is not regarded as offensive, though it's not a word I would use unless pushed. There was a very popular (witty) tv ad for Toyota where the punchline was a sheepdog saying "bugger".
This illustrates how cultural terms of abuse and swear words are.

We talk about Anglo Saxon 4 letters words but they did not have any swear words.

[CrazyNameCrazyGuy]

Mumsnet Blog of the Day

My toddler isn't 'spirited' - she's an arsehole

notaneffingfairytaleblog.com/2016/10/03/my-toddler-isnt-spirited-shes-just-a-little-shit/