To think that this is inappropriate?

[cerealnamechangers]

An acquaintance on Facebook posted a picture of her toddler son with the caption 'jack was howling on the school run today and people were commenting saying oh poor him, well no quite frankly he's just being a twat and I'm allowed to say that because he's my child' she then posted an update later ' received some lovely messages from my rant this morning some people are afraid to state the truth but I'm not if you've never referred to your toddler as a twat then you are a liar' I have since unfriended her as I think referring to a child as a twat is disgusting and I can't see the funny side of it to be honest. Have I just lost my sense of humour?

Twat can be used affectionately. Just because you don't doesn't make it offensive.

The British definition is slang for female genitalia. The secondary definition of stupid person came from its being used in a derogatory way. It's like saying, I use the definition of prick to mean a stupid person, and ignoring the fact it is a slang term for penis.

IME people who use it as a mild term have usually misunderstood it to be the same as twit, when it isn't. I accept it is used more widely and mildly now as in the instances above (though always find it a bit cringey) I'm not offended by it (love swearing) but not nice in relation to children and in public, and like it's something to be proud of. Makes the person sound like a cunt (meant affectionately).

Isn't twat another word for clitoris?

My son has been called a number of names behind his back when he has indeed been a bit of dick

It's called Venting.

She hasn't shouted 'twat' at him

I got called a gobshite a lot growing up, son gets it too

It is affectionate to us though

Okay, I'm going to have to check as I only learnt when I came on mumsnet that twat doesn't just mean you are a bit silly. Are twit and twonk okay or do they both refer to genitalia too?

To answer the question I think it is important how the posting mum sees the word. Do you know whether it is strong or light hearted for her? I don't particularly like calling kids names or posting negative stuff about them at all but then sometimes when you are at end of tether it is good to hear support. Needs the bigger picture here I think. The fact that you defriended her instead of giving her a bell to find out how she was doing probably means you weren't that close anyway and best to let the friendship drop.

I'll admit that at at times I have thought it about both my kids when they're driving me up the wall.
I'd never actually call them it though.

drivingmisspotty

Twit and twonk are explained here.

I was surprised to see that the word Tyke comes from Norse for "bitch".

www.smittenbybritain.com/20-british-insults-and-their-origins/

I call my dc twats all day long. But we laugh about it and make fun. I also use plonker, fish finger and dum dum. I wouldn't post it on Facebook at all and I didn't even realise twat was such a bad word. I've heard some disgusting things parents call their dc. I would never cross that line and my dc never swear.
Mum shouldn't have posted on Facebook but to Unfriend her is a bit weird to me.

Ok. I've just googled twat.
I had NO idea.

I used to think Twat meant twit - until I was 14 and in a maths class. I called the boy next to me a twat and it went very quiet... "what? I only called him a twat" says I. Ever turns to look at the teacher for her response.. She suggested I ask someone after the lesson what it meant.... Never used it again..

I agree with you, totally inappropriate. I have never called my child a t**t and I don't know anyone in my circle who have. Posting it on Facebook too? Disgusting. So glad I'm not on FB

My 2 Dc's are 11 and 16. And I swear. Loads. I never swear in 'nastiness', just what my eldest would call 'banter.' I even make up swear words which the 11yr old finds hilarious. However, that's just what we do. And before anyone is horrified, they know not to swear themselves, and it's not like I have a completely potty mouth! It's all done in jest. As for putting it on FB. Give the poor woman a break!

Is there a real need to insult your child on Facebook? As one who has laid about her pretty freely with insults when provoked, I would find it wierd and attention seeking to do this - did she expect applause, praise, a mother of the year badge?

There is a trend for this kind of thing from bloggers etc. Parents showing the reality of parenting by posting pictures of children in there more challenging moments. I think I would hide rather than delete.

I think her first problem was posting about a toddler having a tantrum in the first place- hardly newsworthy.

I don't tend to post much on FB about DS but I'd probably think it/ have a moan later.

I'd be more likely to say "wee shite" than "twat" though which is slightly more affectionate?

Well if it's no big deal and often seen as a term of endearment, how would you feel if someone called them that or a teacher wrote on a report "when Johnny can't be arsed to do his work he behaves like a twat".

TBH when my kids are really difficult and I lose my rag with them I might think or mutter under my breath that they're arseholes. But I'd certainly never say that to them nor post it all over Facebook.

YANBU at all. I'd be upset and unfriending someone who mocks their child's distress.

Its

I would think that was quite funny tbh.

But it's a stupid comparison because obviously your parent calling you something in affection is not the same as a teacher calling you a twat.

I call my sister a silly tit as a term of endearment but I don't say that to my boss.

"Child's distress"= toddler having tantrum about cheese being the wrong shape.

When did everyone become so pious? There's this never ending verbal battery of other woman regarding their parenting skills. When mine were little it was before mainstream social media. Thank goodness. I can only imaging what I may have said! As for 'blogging trends'. Screw that ;) I distinctly remember years ago when myself and my friend got together for a playdate with the little ones, we would snigger to each other ''They're bloody arseholes ect''. Because, when your knackered and being the 'perfect' Mum. Sometimes you gotta vent to friends. And IF that's on social media. The lady may have appreciated a ''Hope you're day get's better. I've felt bloody frustrated with mine in the past'' ect type of thing. Deleting her sounds a bit OTT and harsh.

There are worse things put on fb every day. Each to their own. If you don't like it best thing is ignore or block

She was looking for support. Chances are she went home and cried after said child had behaved like a twat; FB gave her an outlet. The reason for her 'update' was probably because someone had commented that they wouldn't say 'that word'. She needs empathy, not unfriending. We all have crap days, some worse than others'. Just because you may not use the word twat, does not make you a better person.

I say he is behaving like a little shit I don't say he is a little shit and never in front of them its the behaviour that's wrong not the child

"The British definition is slang for female genitalia. The secondary definition of stupid person came from its being used in a derogatory way. It's like saying, I use the definition of prick to mean a stupid person, and ignoring the fact it is a slang term for penis."

But people aren't thinking about what it really means when they're saying it, an as shown by posters above, some people don't even know what the word really means. I suspect it's becoming one of those words that 'used to mean' genitalia, but in future will only mean an idiot.
(I've just learnt now from the link someone posted that pillock is also a word for the male member).

I have no problem with it. I am sure she love him and doesn't think he is an actual twat per say. Its the sort of thing I may say to my self or close friends. It is a lot to do with sense of humour. Personally I am ex forces this sort of humour/description is like water of a ducks back to me.

But I do think she is unwise to publish this on social media. Not everyone shares that sense of humour or use of expression to a situation. I think she a made a bit of gaff with this, unless she enjoys starting a drama and controversy (there are people out there who do)?