To think that this is inappropriate?

[cerealnamechangers]

An acquaintance on Facebook posted a picture of her toddler son with the caption 'jack was howling on the school run today and people were commenting saying oh poor him, well no quite frankly he's just being a twat and I'm allowed to say that because he's my child' she then posted an update later ' received some lovely messages from my rant this morning some people are afraid to state the truth but I'm not if you've never referred to your toddler as a twat then you are a liar' I have since unfriended her as I think referring to a child as a twat is disgusting and I can't see the funny side of it to be honest. Have I just lost my sense of humour?

[CrazyNameCrazyGuy]

Mumsnet Blog of the Day

My toddler isn't 'spirited' - she's an arsehole

notaneffingfairytaleblog.com/2016/10/03/my-toddler-isnt-spirited-shes-just-a-little-shit/

[Benedikte2]

In NZ and Australia bugger is not regarded as offensive, though it's not a word I would use unless pushed. There was a very popular (witty) tv ad for Toyota where the punchline was a sheepdog saying "bugger".
This illustrates how cultural terms of abuse and swear words are.

We talk about Anglo Saxon 4 letters words but they did not have any swear words.

[Benedikte2]

Off thread. The poet Robert Browning used the word t**t in one of his poems because he thought it was a nun's head dress! His supporters were mortified but didn't tell him because they didn't want to embarrass him. So regarded as offensive in the 19th Century

[ItsJustNotRight]

Kellnic i had a similar reaction from my mum, way back when, it was absolutely off the scale of swearing, far out there beyond fuck or cunt. Meanings change over time and there are always regional differences about what's acceptable. We had a new teacher from Ireland and when she heard us London girls call each other a cow she went ballistic. Her view was it was the equivalent of calling someone a prostitute. We had never heard anything so ridiculous, to us it was just everyday speak, pretty much like twat seems to have become over the yrs. i heard the same comments about the word cow from a northerner who said he was mortified when he moved to London and heard women using it to each other, he claimed it was fighting talk up north. I've still never called anyone a twat - except perhaps Jeremy Hunt.

[SatsukiKusakabe]

Agree with both your posts scaredfurture and kellnic

[Kellnic]

Hi, when I was a teenager my grandad overheard me using the "t" word. Never had I ever seen him so upset and angry. He explained that it was the most derogatory term for women, the same as the c word. As he so rarely got annoyed with people and witnessed the most most horrendous things in WW2 I took his advice seriously that it was a word never to be uttered or encouraged again! Generally speaking, we don't like the c word, do we... While I'm not no prude, sometimes only choice words will do for certain situations, if we want to encourage respect in society, and our children, we should be respectful ourselves.

[Zbag14]

I think you're overreacting. I call my child a twat all the time.. I guess the difference is I wouldn't say it out loud or on FB.

[ScaredFuture99]

As for being at the end of your tether (and therefore it's ok to be angry, insult etc...)

This is the Internet. Whatever is being put on there will stay so that child is likely to have access to that in a few years time. Everyone around has access to that. And wo talking of the risk of someone from work, family and whatever coming across that.
Is that really the sort of image you want to give to people?

So do we all loose our rags at some point? Yes of course. Are you all arriving at the end of our tether and struggling? Yes again.
I'm not sure that showcasing that reaction is the best idea ever though....

[ScaredFuture99]

I think my issue is more about what there is around the word twat in this case than the word itself.

The way she posted on FB says loud and clear that she meant twat as an insult, being a pain and stupid etc...
All the stuff being 'not being afraid to say the truth' and 'being a liar'....

So the way I would read that would be not as a mild insult (but then is that ever ok to insult your child anyway?) but as something much stronger.

It is completely different than a parent saying 'oh he was just being a twat' in a gentle amused way iyswim.

[kungfupannda]

Sounds like she was on the receiving end of lots of fake sympathy and judging on the school run and needed to let off steam, as well as making a bit of a point about the 'oh poor boy' crowd.

I probably wouldn't post that on Facebook as chances are that someone would have a sense of humour failure, but twat is a running joke among the mums I know. Someone once said (not in front of the child) that their toddler was being an absolute twat. Now it's the go-to term for pain-in-the-backside toddler behaviour.

Mum 1: How was Bob yesterday?
Mum 2: Twat.
Mum 1: Ah.

Maybe posting it on Facebook was a bit much, but I'd struggle to judge her. She sounds at the end of her tether - probably as much with the reactions of people around her as with the child himself.

[MammaBear091114]

She's not said this to her child, she's just had a moan on facebook, I don't see twat as a horrible word but some people are more offended by certain words than others. I don't say stuff like this to my child but I might say to my DH when he gets home, oh our son has been a little twat / bugger today - it depends what part of the country your from I think as to what words are more offensive.

2kids2dogsnosense - I'd never call my child a 'waster', what's worse than calling your child a waste of space?!?!

[honkinghaddock]

I wouldn't call my child a twat on Facebook or otherwise but the child having sn is not relevant here.

[Acardwithbigletters]

Oh epic drip feed there op.

[IceRoadDucker]

Twat is so mild round here that my colleagues and I call each other twats as a term of endearment or an affectionate alternative for, "You idiot!"

Loving the pearl-clutching on this thread, though. Don't stop.

[SatsukiKusakabe]

Look, call your children those names names if you want. It's not precious or hyperbole to think its vulgar though; that's what the word means.

I presume everyone is happy to be called names like twat/shit/arse themselves during an argument or when their dh/dm is annoyed at you, and it be put on social media? And all happy for their child to call them a twat when they're pissed off with you? Because that's your prerogative but I surprised that it's the case, and if not, why is it ok for children? Because they are like cats and won't read it?

And for me, it's all 3. The word itself, the fact is in in public, and, while I think having a negative thought about yr child is one thing, I think it's a bit shitty to channel it into name-calling.

[babynugget]

I used to have a friend that never swore - ever! Nothing even close to a swear word would ever come out of her mouth. Yet she used twat frequently. I was really confused by this until one day I asked her why she was happy to use the word yet berates me for my rather colourful language. Turns out she genuinely had no clue what twat meant. She thought it was like twit or something. She was absolutely gutted and mortified to find out the truth. Whilst I thought it was bloody hilarious!

[CrazyNameCrazyGuy]

The child does have special needs which makes it more inappropriate as he is obviously struggling not being a 'twat'.

Nice bit of drip feeding there.

Kids with SN can be twats/little tykes/whatever word you choose. Give the woman a break ffs, you sound like you're trying to demonise a parent who has clearly had a very difficult morning.

[NauticalDisaster]

To be fair, toddlers are notorious for acting like right little dicks!

YABU and, to use the hyperbole of some supporters on this thread, are being 'vile', 'disgusting', & 'inappropriate' for defriending her on Facebook over a word you don't like, that's just precious.

[MsJamieFraser]

I don't think it's inappropriate, kids can be little arses, no harm in saying it, everything is PC now a days.

[BeingATwatItsABingThing]

Twt is a vulgar word that I shall never use! except where Bing Bunny is concerned

I call DD my little monster/monkey/devil but I would never call her a twat/bugger/c... They're such horrible words and certainly not fitting for my 2yo.

[hauxb001]

Is this an issue about making nevative comments about our own children
Or
About posting said comments
Or
About using the word twat
For example had the mum said
He was being a pig
Would everyone feel more comfortable ?
I think this mum is saying
We should not be afraid to admit that our children can be awful sometimes
It then comes down to our sensitivity over language . The word twat has become far less contentious for many people over the years , for some its a slight step up from twit , for others it's only a slight step down from c .
So is it the sentiment being objected to or the language used to express it ?

[Atenco]

Well I never was one for posting about my personal life on facebook, but I were I could have posted that about my dgd. She is the apple of my eye, but she throw a major strop coming back from school the other day and I'm sure half the neighbourhood think that I am the evil grandmother from George's Marvellous Medicine.

What does it matter, some people prefer brat (me), some people prefer twat.

[RubbishMantra]

Prat (and possibly twit) was originally a word used to describe a pregnant goldfish.

I may have posted on the Litter Tray board that my cat was being an arse. Hopefully he never learns to access the internet.

[gintymarlowe]

children's misbehaviour should be kept private not bandied around on facebook. if the child saw it they might feel shamed. how misbehaviour is dealt with should be a family matter. there was a woman who shaved her daughter's head as punishment and posted it on social media. i was like what??? when i was a kid we were grounded or yelled at or whatever, not humiliated on facebook. i feel sorry for kids today (and i know that makes me sound like a little old lady.....)

[VioletBam]

She's probably hoping to be like that famous "Mummy blogger" who posts "honest" statuses on FB all the time and has thousands of followers.