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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I dislike children.

378 replies

HonestJan · 01/10/2016 19:51

What is wrong with me?

Never liked em. I don't find them cute, sweet, funny, interesting or entertaining. I have a few nieces/nephews and obviously love them but I don't enjoy the whole 'come watch little niece sing/dance 😍' and then enduring a painfully shit performance, 'Wow look at what little nephew has drawn' and it's a dreadful mess/ordinary drawing, and so on.

When kids do things like throw tantrums or make a scene in public and their parents do that 'ah isn't she adorable' look, I just don't get it.

When I'm sitting having a coffee and they come over to me/others to pester them and the parents leave them to it as if everyone must find their children as wonderful as they do, I don't get that either.

Babies I have no interest in either. I don't want to cuddle a small person or pull silly faces and coo over it.

I really enjoy people and I'm sure I'll have much more time and patience for my nieces and nephews when they grow up but I seem to be considered some sort of monster for not having an interest in children.

OP posts:
ageingrunner · 01/10/2016 19:53

Kids are like farts really. Your own are alright, but anyone else's...

AndShesGone · 01/10/2016 19:53

No one really likes watching them singing or dancing

Every time I endured watching her end of term shoes I had to really put on a brace face and that was MY kid

AndShesGone · 01/10/2016 19:54

That was 'brave' face

RiverTam · 01/10/2016 19:54

I don't like children much either, or like the kind of thing you describe.

I love DD and like some of her friends and cousins, but plenty I could absolutely do without.

My best friend and another pal don't like children. Doesn't bother me one jot. They put up with DD but I would certainly never put them through what you've described!

Boundaries · 01/10/2016 19:54

What is your AIBU?

SmallBee · 01/10/2016 19:55

YANBU. I love my own and those related to me.
I'm not a fan of the others though and I never was. I've not wanted to coo over babies or hold them. Toddlers are generally just leaky snot factories and I just don't come in to contact with anyone between 5 and 20. I'm not looking to change that until I have to.

Artandco · 01/10/2016 19:55

Nope. I love my own children, have their scribble picture on the fridge. But others are a bit like annoying fleas to me, they irritate me usually.

Stonebees · 01/10/2016 19:57

I don't much like small children - I find them generally pretty dull - but I very much enjoy working with teenagers. My secret shame is that I find my DNs horribly boring and try to avoid spending time with them.

thehugemanatee · 01/10/2016 19:57

This is an absolutely normal way to feel about children that society tells women they're not allowed to feel. Even women who don't want kids are pressured to say 'I don't want kids but I like them'.

As long as you're not doing anything harmful to children which I'm sure you're not, it's fine to feel the way you do about them.

Nothing wrong with you at all.

VladmirsPoutine · 01/10/2016 19:58

I really don't see the issue here. You don't have to be party to this 'show' of children if you choose not to engage. Just smile, nod and move on.

You are not a monster for disliking children but it doesn't have to be so black and white. Your post seems to suggest that people can only exist on one side of the like/dislike spectrum. Not at all. For some children become everything for others children are like a bug.

Just be settled with your decisions and not make a song and dance about it.

Oysterbabe · 01/10/2016 20:00

Just out of interest, how old are you and have you decided you don't want children of your own?
I was probably a bit like this but having DD was a game changer.

Idrinkandiknowstuff · 01/10/2016 20:01

Nope, I really don't like children. Obviously mine was an exceptional child, and nothing like other people's irritating offspring.

SolomanDaisy · 01/10/2016 20:02

Loads of people don't like children, it's pretty normal. Of course most of those people don't come on a forum mostly made up of mothers to remind us how irritating many people find our kids. That's a bit less usual.

WaitrosePigeon · 01/10/2016 20:03

Odd post. What do you hope to gain? Why do think anyone cares.

QueenofLouisiana · 01/10/2016 20:03

TBF the fact that children are allowed to pester you is lazy parenting- I dislike parents who allow it. You're probably a more interesting prospect than the parent who is ignoring them.

And tantruming toddlers are never funny- they'll rapidly turn into tantruming 9 year olds, which becomes difficult all round. Babies are not very interesting, IMO, a quick look and nice words to the parent is enough for me!

However, children doing children stuff (chatting, playing, learning, climbing) I think are really great. I like 7-12 year olds, they have a sense of humour, chat about interesting stuff and have a unique view of the world.

Now, if you'd just like to see some photos of DS...Grin

Mimicat44 · 01/10/2016 20:04

I thought Mumsnet was for mums?

HonkHonkNose · 01/10/2016 20:04

ageingrunner pissing myself at that

Stevefromstevenage · 01/10/2016 20:04

I love my own kids. I don't expect others too. I think most of the stuff you don't like is pretty universal. Nothing worse than a children's theatrical performance, usually talentless ordeals until your own DC steps up and you get to go barmy. Tis nature.

TheWeeBabySeamus1 · 01/10/2016 20:05

I loathed all children before I had one of my own. Even when I got pregnant I found them annoying, and thought that everyone only liked their own kids. Now, I find them adorable.

CinderellaFant · 01/10/2016 20:05

Genuinely interested in why you joined a parenting site then?

TheWeeBabySeamus1 · 01/10/2016 20:05

In small doses that is - couldn't cope with a house full every day Grin

BillSykesDog · 01/10/2016 20:06

What is your AIBU?

Er, not to like children?

gonetoseeamanaboutadog · 01/10/2016 20:07

Seems a bit passive aggressive to declare this on a parenting site.

Why would I care who you like? Are you a parent in need of support? Or are you subtly criticising anyone who chooses to be a parent?

Why aren't you doing interesting childfree things instead of telling anonymous parents that you don't like their kids?

twocultures · 01/10/2016 20:07

I don't think YABU I absolutely adore my DC and coo over everything they do, I don't expect everyone to feel the same about them though, equally I'm usually quite meh about other kids/babies and so is my DP even though he's crazy about our DC just like me.

Believeitornot · 01/10/2016 20:08

Good for you.

Now what are you doing on mumsnet then Grin