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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I dislike children.

378 replies

HonestJan · 01/10/2016 19:51

What is wrong with me?

Never liked em. I don't find them cute, sweet, funny, interesting or entertaining. I have a few nieces/nephews and obviously love them but I don't enjoy the whole 'come watch little niece sing/dance 😍' and then enduring a painfully shit performance, 'Wow look at what little nephew has drawn' and it's a dreadful mess/ordinary drawing, and so on.

When kids do things like throw tantrums or make a scene in public and their parents do that 'ah isn't she adorable' look, I just don't get it.

When I'm sitting having a coffee and they come over to me/others to pester them and the parents leave them to it as if everyone must find their children as wonderful as they do, I don't get that either.

Babies I have no interest in either. I don't want to cuddle a small person or pull silly faces and coo over it.

I really enjoy people and I'm sure I'll have much more time and patience for my nieces and nephews when they grow up but I seem to be considered some sort of monster for not having an interest in children.

OP posts:
DeadGood · 01/10/2016 20:27

"That people are bending over backwards to say it's ok says a lot about the ingrained lowly status of mothers and children."

Saying that what's ok, iPity ? That it's ok for someone not to like children?

Seriously? You think it's not ok to dislike children??

usual · 01/10/2016 20:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FurryDogMother · 01/10/2016 20:29

HonestJan I can't stand them either, although I can put up a good front if presented with one :) I've often wondered if there's something wrong with me, but hey, I'm in my late 50s now, and have ceased to give a shit. I love puppies and kittens, I like other people (adults) mostly, and I'm generally happy. I like MumsNet because it kinda reinforces my decision not to have children - I read so many horror stories on here (not necessarily dramatic stuff, just the everyday things with kids that sounds like hell to me). Each to their own - my life is far from perfect, but it would be so much worse if there were children involved !

Lorelei76 · 01/10/2016 20:29

PS I sit through the songs and help with homework too, and I smile! They're my friends kids, so it becomes part of the friendship.
My friends have always accepted me being childfree, it tends to be strangers and work people who comment. No idea what that's about Confused

HerFaceIsaMapOfTheWorld · 01/10/2016 20:29

but just to add I currently work in a primary school and I sometimes just watch the kids playing and creating things and I am just smiling at how they think and how innocent they are. Really is the best job in the world working with kids or animals

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 01/10/2016 20:29

I can have a different opinion on a thread without being told to leave the thread.

You started by questioning why someone would start a thread on a subject you don't like.

You are whining not me.

gonetoseeamanaboutadog · 01/10/2016 20:30

I also think it's unfair to children. Would we allow a thread titled 'I hate black people? I hate old people? I hate women?'

The OP clearly doesn't really know any children well. If she did, she'd realise it's a nonsense statement. You like some children and not others.

BillSykesDog · 01/10/2016 20:30

Honestly, if you only think people have worthwhile and interesting contributions to make to this site by virtue of having spawned then you're obviously incredibly narrow minded and don't get out much or mix with a wide range of people.

I can't imagine anything worse than being ghettoised into a 'mummyland' where other people weren't welcome.

Some posters on here might learn to value perspectives different from their own a bit more.

Sara107 · 01/10/2016 20:30

Children are people - some are obnoxious, some boring, some fun, etc, etc. Give yourself a chance and give them a chance, and One day you may meet a child you like. But going to watch children's performances can be pretty tedious ( even for the doting parents), so why not just be honest and say really, I love niece/ nephew but I 'ld prefer not to come to the ballet/ nativity show.

Butw · 01/10/2016 20:30

Can you imagine if I started a thread

"I dislike the elderly"

usual · 01/10/2016 20:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DeadGood · 01/10/2016 20:32

gonetosee thanks for replying to me

I think the thing is that the OP doesn't see this place as a parenting site. I know it is, but it's also more than that, and the "mum" part of the site name sort of becomes meaningless after a while, you stop noticing it.

I can't think of any other fora that are as all-encompassing as Mumsnet, with the same humour and tone. I don't use anything else, the OP probably doesn't either, and thinks of AIBU as a neutral space. Yanno?

[disclaimer: I am not the OP! But think I know where she is coming from]

ToastDemon · 01/10/2016 20:32

Oh bugger off with the what are you doing on a parenting site bollox.
There's a fair few of us on here who have no children either by choice or circumstance. I'm better suited to this forum by age/sex/demographic than any other I've found.
I'm not particularly keen on babies and children either.
Funnily enough it seems to be okay to admit it if you have and like your own, but as a childfree woman you must always wax lyrical about your fondness for your neices or friends kids or whatever.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 01/10/2016 20:32

Honestly, if you only think people have worthwhile and interesting contributions to make to this site by virtue of having spawned then you're obviously incredibly narrow minded and don't get out much or mix with a wide range of people.

^ this.

gonetoseeamanaboutadog · 01/10/2016 20:33

Honestly, if you only think people have worthwhile and interesting contributions to make to this site by virtue of having spawned then you're obviously incredibly narrow minded and don't get out much or mix with a wide range of people.

Honestly, if you think it's ok to write off millions of people with amazing humour, creativity, courage and craziness because they haven't much time on the clock yet, I doubt I'll miss knowing you.

Notsurewhyimhere · 01/10/2016 20:33

I don't like children either OP normally if you tell people that they think you are a nasty cow

ThymeLord · 01/10/2016 20:33

^seconded

NantucketNightbird · 01/10/2016 20:33

I think this is one reason I don't have friends, if I had a friend it would be to go out for the night or shopping not to talk about children!

PerspicaciaTick · 01/10/2016 20:34

Children are only interesting if you get to know them as people.
If you forget they are people and feel let down when they aren't as entertaining as you would like them to be, then you probably aren't building much of a relationship.

usual · 01/10/2016 20:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lizzieoak · 01/10/2016 20:37

I like kids - though there are a few bad seeds I'll make an exception for. Babies are sweet & even the ugly ones have a charm. My own of course were gorgeous and sweet & brilliant.

What I don't like is people who cannot herd their kids ever so slightly when adults are trying to have a chat (am looking @ you friend x). If I'm round for tea and a chat do not break off constantly to have lengthy side chats with your darling sprog about the health benefits of cauliflower, what the etymological derivation of "Equinox" is, or a hundred other things. It's okay for kids to learn that their parent sometimes wishes to discuss things which are a bit over their heads (work, the economy, elderly parents). And for heavens' sake, never make a group of your friends sit through a 30 minute let's pretend in the guise of a play, followed by said child making up poems On the Spot.

It's parents I occasionally am not so keen on.

ProseccoBitch · 01/10/2016 20:39

I don't like children either, and have never had the slightest inkling that I might want one, but at 39 am wondering if I will regret it in years to come when it's too late. I think this may be due to people constantly saying 'you should have them or you'll regret it' though. I don't have any friends with children so I wonder if it's just that I've never got used to them. I would liken my feelings to those of someone who's scared of dogs, I actually feel quite nervous and anxious around children although I can't really explain why.

Beardsareweird · 01/10/2016 20:42

I don't have children, but have one niece (who is now 22) and I absolutely love her to bits and have done so since she was born. I am a teacher (primary) and as much as I enjoy working with children, I also love being able to hand the kids back at 3.15 every day and certainly wouldn;t want to go home to any. I would much rather look at a photo of someone's dog or cat than one of their kids/grandkids.

FurryDogMother · 01/10/2016 20:42

Children are, admittedly, people, but they are proto-people, as far as I'm concerned, and become interesting at about age 11. Or 18. Something like that. On the other hand I do like the elderly, in fact I bloody love them, much more than your average person in their 20s, and mainly because they are just so much more interesting - to me. I am honest enough to say that I really didn't like hanging out with elderly people when I was in my 20s, but now, I do. People change. You really don't have to like everyone, all the time.

Puppymouse · 01/10/2016 20:43

I feel same as you OP and I have one! As someone else said... Your own, yes. Other people's, no ta.