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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Does anyone add their childs' teacher on Facebook?

159 replies

tigercub50 · 30/09/2016 23:06

I am friends with a lovely TA from a class my DD used to be in but not sure about adding teachers. Also her teacher this year is young & male so guessing I have probably answered my own question lol. Just wanted to start a debate about Facebook generally. It can be such a sensitive thing & I have inadvertently offended people before

OP posts:
Fuckwitteryhasform · 19/04/2017 04:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AwaywiththePixies27 · 19/04/2017 06:31

Nope. But I know DCs last schools favourite mum had quite a few teachers and TAs on their facebook. I also thought it was totally unprofessional and would have loved to know what the rules were, because obviously a couple of these parents and teachers thought they were exempt from it! Hmm

I have plenty of my old college lecturers and uni lecturers on my facebook but I suppose the difference is both stopped teaching me over a decade ago.

FumBluff1 · 19/04/2017 06:37

I'm friends with some teachers at my kids school - 4 of them. HOWEVER, I was friends with them before they worked there, they are either parents of kids the same age of mine, and one I went to school with and have known for years

HookandSwan · 19/04/2017 06:38

Both my Aunty and my friend who are teachers, have changed their name to avoid nosy parents adding them.

username22345 · 19/04/2017 07:01

It's not just parents who are nosy, you know that right? There are teachers at dc school who have actively looked me up and attempted to add me. One is so obsessed with my boobs that he makes it obvious in person, generally he stalks me on fb after a day of perving on my boobs. True story. The only reason he backed away is because he found out something personal about me that turned him off.

Fancyaruck · 19/04/2017 07:05

Zombie :)

AwaywiththePixies27 · 19/04/2017 07:32

username22345. Yes. Had quite a few look me up when I pissed them off by pursuing help for my DS once. Unfortunately for them I didn't have facebook at the time so a bit fruitless! Grin

CrowyMcCrowFace · 19/04/2017 07:43

Strict adherence to the 'no parent /teacher FB friends' policy at the international school where I teach (& my children attend) would wipe out my entire social life*, & half my colleagues would have to defriend their spouses.

Common sense prevails: I'm only FB friends with colleagues with whom I have a RL friendship, not (for example) my dds' grumpy Maths teacher who hates me anyway because his PM review directed him to be mentored by me to help with his behaviour management.

Equally, one of my closest friends has a dd in my class this year. It would be weird to have de-friended her when we'd spent all last year hanging out together, chatting, getting merrily pissed together...

Agree this is peculiar to overseas/ small communities, or private schools where tuition fees are a teacher perk - things are usually tighter in the UK state system where most teachers live out of catchment & avoid this problem.

& I definitely use a fake name, refuse student friend requests etc.

*that sounds pathetic! Only because get togethers are all organised by FB or whatsapp, & if no one was in the same group with anyone else who taught their kid, the complications would go something like: 'right, I'm having a barbecue but I can't message Ann, Bob, Claire, Dave, Ethel or Fred - who IS allowed to contact them on here?' Grin

Citizenoftheuniverse · 19/04/2017 08:04

No and I can't imagine they would want that.

username22345 · 19/04/2017 08:50

Awaywiththepixies27, the nerve of them teachers. How dare you ask them to help your child. You would think it's part of their job, don't make that assumption again Hmm

MaisyPops · 19/04/2017 09:00

Why woukd you?
I get the TA because you are friends but anythjng else is odd.

The only parent I'm friends with on facebook is somebody I'm friends with because we work at the same school. Yes, I teach her child but that's a separate relationship.

hels71 · 19/04/2017 09:04

I am FB friends with DD s teacher. But I have worked with her and been a real life friend since before DD was even born.

vanrecovered · 19/04/2017 09:49

I'm friends with some ex pupils on Facebook, although I was in-house supply / office / pastoral staff, not a teacher & not working there any more (& the 'kids' are all mid 20s now Shock). Always declined parents and kids at the time I was working there though.

AwaywiththePixies27 · 19/04/2017 10:16

username22345 Grin

Tomorrowillbeachicken · 19/04/2017 10:17

Nope, been told it won't happen at school meeting.

Katedotness1963 · 19/04/2017 10:23

I would not, but I can see FB friends who have teachers as friends and the teachers have "friended" pupils too.

AwaywiththePixies27 · 19/04/2017 10:23

I dont get the friendly reasons too tbh.

At DCs school. The staff are absolutely brilliant. I literally can't fault them as they go above and beyond for their pupils. One of the DCs teachers is leaving at the end of this academic year and I genuinely was gutted when I heard the news. They're an excellent teacher and a credit to their profession.

I still wouldn't add as a friend as I view it as completely unprofessional. IMO it crosses that professional boundary between parent and teacher. But as I say, that's my opinion, I'm aware people have different ones.

NinahH · 19/04/2017 10:25

I'm friends with parents from my old school - taught their children over the years when they were in N and R - at that age you see a lot of the family and get to know them well - in many cases taught two or three plus siblings. Didn't accept any friend requests til I after left though. I went to one family's First Holy Communion party and I really like seeing how their children are growing up. I have also met up socially now I am no longer Mrs X. One of my best friends is ds's old Reception teacher (he is 14 now) and I did struggle not to call her Mrs for ages. I really enjoy the friendships I've developed and I have very fond memories of all my ex pupils. I am too old and sensible for party pics, however, and I am quite careful about what I post in general as it's out there forever. I never ever post about work even though I've got a fab new job I am dying to brag about

username22345 · 19/04/2017 10:25

There are two teachers I would friend if they left the school and it's mainly because I would want to get in their pants haha

CatsRidingRollercoasters · 19/04/2017 10:40

There are two teachers I would friend if they left the school and it's mainly because I would want to get in their pants haha

Grow up.

This is one of the many reasons why my fellow teachers and I need to use fake names and hide behind profile pictures of our pets. Potential sexual harassment from unhinged sounding people who think that because we teach their children for 7 hours a day, they are entitled to know the ins and outs of our private lives.

MrsGsnow18 · 19/04/2017 10:43

Our school has a very strict policy against this. Not allowed any 'facebook' friends with parents.

username22345 · 19/04/2017 10:48

You need to stop being so entitled. Teachers think they can get away with anything because they teach our kids for 7 hours a day. They can make inappropriate advancements towards the mothers at pick up and stare relentlessly at our boobs and arses but the minute we so much as look at them or comment about how hot they are, teachers unite and scream sexual harassment. I hated school when I was a child because of teachers and you have just confirmed why I hate it now as an adult, because of the teachers.

CatsRidingRollercoasters · 19/04/2017 10:55

OK... Hmm

user1490817136 · 19/04/2017 11:07

Regarding use of social media. A few years ago I ended up being pulled into the head's office at work because a very innocent work related comment (..think "bad day need an early night" type thing) was added to by some colleagues and they got sweary and personal about some other work related stuff between themselves on my status. I was to blame for making the status to begin with. It got messy and was a lesson to me.

Now I have no colleagues on social media at all regardless of the social media policy in my workplace. It's too easy to slip up and find yourself in trouble.

Screwinthetuna · 19/04/2017 11:19

No. My child and her child are friends and we meet up outside of school so I have her number but wouldn't add to Facebook/Instagram.