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AIBU?

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Original poster

Does anyone add their childs' teacher on Facebook?

159 replies

tigercub50 · 30/09/2016 23:06

I am friends with a lovely TA from a class my DD used to be in but not sure about adding teachers. Also her teacher this year is young & male so guessing I have probably answered my own question lol. Just wanted to start a debate about Facebook generally. It can be such a sensitive thing & I have inadvertently offended people before

OP posts:
Twatty · 01/10/2016 08:52

Oh and one time a TA from a school in a close village, photographed a childs work then shared it with everyone FB.

I was shown it by someone who only vaguely knew the TA.

TeacherBob · 01/10/2016 08:55

NO no no no no

dizzygirl1 · 01/10/2016 08:56

At our old school the teachers had parents who were fb friends. Some they knew frome outside of school but a lot were just through school. I refused to have DC'S actual teachers on my fb

FatherSpodoKomodo · 01/10/2016 08:57

I worked at the same school as my kids so I had lots of the staff as friends, but didn't add my DSs teacher until she stopped teaching him, although she taught him again in another year.

I wouldn't have added them otherwise.

My friend was a teacher and has been moaned about for going out drinking at the weekends, and also for doing embarrassing drunk things as a teenager - because she should have used her crystal ball to see that she would become a teacher and shouldn't have ever gone out or drunk! Thank goodness we didn't have social media in those days!

JosephineMaynard · 01/10/2016 09:00

Agree it's inappropriate, and unprofessional of the teacher / TA to accept a friend request, unless perhaps the parent and teacher are already friends before the child starts at the school.

youarenotkiddingme · 01/10/2016 09:15

There will be a policy for staff about this.

We aren't able to be FB friends with any adult who has a child on role at the school.

Even the teachers in the school are advised not be be FB friends with the TAs. it's ignored universally!

I have a very good friend in one of my colleagues - her DS attends the school. Policy states we can't be FB friends!

CoYoAddict · 01/10/2016 09:18
Shock

Absolutely not. What a terrible idea. If I was a teacher and parents who were not also/already friends sent me friends requests I'd be a bit freaked out by it to be honest.

MrsKCastle · 01/10/2016 09:39

We aren't able to be FB friends with any adult who has a child on role at the school.

I do find this a bit overly strict. At my school several people who work there (teachers, TAs, mid-days, office staff) have children at the school. So in theory, they couldn't be FB friends with each other even though they may have been colleagues for 5+ years!

In my case, if I followed that rule I would have to unfriend my husband and someone who has been a close friend and support for almost 10 years. I would never add a parent or accept a friend request if I didn't already know them, but I haven't rushed to block previous friends.

LittleBearPad · 01/10/2016 09:48

But you could have asked for your colleagues mobile number to discuss swapping shifts. Why Facebook??

twinkletash · 01/10/2016 09:51

Speaking as a nursery teacher we can't add or accept requests from parents and I assume it's the same in schools

DownWithThisSortaThing · 01/10/2016 09:53

No, I wouldn't. It just seems far too personal and inappropriate.

I know a few teachers who don't use their real names on Facebook because parents search them up and try to add them/message them. Which I found bizarre! Why would you want to?

Fresta · 01/10/2016 09:54

Senior management might deam it inappropriate for staff to be friends with parents. However, I don't actually think they can control or forbid you to be friends with them on Facebook. It is a personal matter and an infringement of your rights for them to do so. In the same, way they can't control who you have a personal relationship outside of school.

ilovesprouts · 01/10/2016 09:55

At our school it's not allowed even tho ds2s class helper is on fb.

FranklyMeDeer · 01/10/2016 10:03

God could you imagine the outrage if a teacher posted about needing wine after a shit day at work, and all the parents could see it on their news feed ShockGrin

Youarenotprepared · 01/10/2016 10:04

No unless you are friends independently of school.

Our school runs a private twitter for each class. Parents send in their twitter name to child's teacher to be accepted. They also have an open twitter account for the school as a whole.

All interaction, photos, updates etc go on twitter. Teachers don't follow anyone just literally use the accounts to keep parents up to date on school activities.

We have two stage permission as well so you have to give photo permission for the private twitter and the public one as two different tick boxes for anyone who doesn't want to see their kids pics on an open page but doesn't mind the private ones.

It works well. I've actually seen one of my kids teachers on fb but she uses a totally made up name so kids can't search for her. I only saw her by accident as she's part of a local running group and a friend of one of my friends and I linked it up. I wouldn't dream of adding her as she isn't a friend outside of school.

SarcasmMode · 01/10/2016 10:09

Ex teachers sure, but no way current ones.

Youarenotprepared · 01/10/2016 10:10

Most schools don't use fb. Our pta has a fb group but that's about it.

SarcasmMode · 01/10/2016 10:15

When I say ex I mean 3+ years, 5 for students. But by then why would you want to?

I have to be careful as I have a few of DHs students/ recently ex students on my FB.

elliejjtiny · 01/10/2016 10:16

No way. It would be too weird. The lollipop lady tried to be facebook friends with me and I said no. I think she was offended. I know it sounds stupid but I always pretend to myself that the staff have that bright, shiny and enthusiastic thing going on all the time. If I saw photos of them on a night out it would ruin it, same with the cbeebies presenters!

Twatty · 01/10/2016 10:50

God could you imagine the outrage if a teacher posted about needing wine after a shit day at work, and all the parents could see it on their news feed

Ha, regularly happened, sometimes with description of what a child/children had done that day(but without names to leave the parents guessing)

the responses were all you do a great job hun. and tuts at bad behaviour.

This was when FB showed you what your friends were commenting on and liked. Which is how I got to see it.

Maudlinmaud · 01/10/2016 10:56

Teacher here. I use a pseudonym on FB.
But Im still found and sent friend requests from parents and students.

houseymchousewife · 01/10/2016 11:00

My dh ex wife is a TA and adds parents. And she does it so they can all see what a fabulous parent she is and see he regular slaggings off of me and my DH. I am waiting for the day when one of them says well if that's the case why were your dcs ever allowed contact with them then because if her lies are to be believed they'd stand up in court as a reason to withhold contact Hmm

houseymchousewife · 01/10/2016 11:01

Oh yeah and she posts totally inappropriate pictures of her and her friends absolutely bladdered in pub toilets (sometimes ON the toilet) and nobody seems to think it's inappropriate at all

spidey66 · 01/10/2016 11:04

I'm a CPN. I once had a service user put in a friends request. I politely declined. He was a nice enough bloke and in different circumstances (eg he was a colleague, or a mate of my husband's) I'd have added him, but I have my boundaries when it comes to work.

WildIrishRose1 · 01/10/2016 11:15

Why on earth would you want to? Surely you wouldn't want work encroaching on your personal life?