To think that buying "stuff" is getting out of hand?

[LunaLoveg00d]

Let me preface by saying I am not a lentil knitting vegan eco-warrior. I buy stuff, I drive, I fly abroad on holiday and we don't grow our own food.

However. Since I have had my first child - only 13 years ago - the culture of buying "stuff" seems to have boomed and I don't think it's positive. Supermarkets and other shops are full of (mainly plastic) tat which people are encouraged to buy for every festival imaginable - Valentine's, Mother's Day, Father's Day, Easter, New Year, Christmas, Halloween - the list is endless.

You can't just have a pumpkin lantern for Halloween any more - you have to have fairy lights, cupcake cases, scary decorations, glow in the dark skeletons, adult AND child costumes, bunting, paper chains, etc etc etc. And nearly everything sold is poor quality or designed to be used once or twice and thrown away.

Clothing is the same - chains like the supermarkets, Primark, New Look or H&M are all about churning out clothes as cheaply as possible, designed to be worn for a few weeks or months and then chucked.

It's just all so wasteful and crazy. We are filling up landfills at a rate of knots with all of our plastic crap and disposable clothing and teaching our kids that celebrating festivals and special days isn't about being nice to each other or spending time making or finding a special gift, it's about buying as much "stuff" as you can as cheaply as you can and then chucking it out when you're finished.

All a bit depressing really.

I totally agree - after 30 years in this house, I'm drowning!
I think it's sad that people buy new decorations every Christmas - part of the fun, to me, is to see the old favourites coming out year after year. We may, however, need to buy new ceiling garlands, as dh had a quadcopter last Christmas...
I try to limit stuff to a stocking of mainly edibles, and a big, useful gift - eg, when one dc was moving, we offered a major appliance purchase, and got dd a much wanted sewing machine. This year I hope to give event gifts.
Also, having less stuff means having more room!
I am an avid Freegler - online dating for stuff - I do give stuff away, but do sometimes get things, too! At least it's not new stuff.

Mrs - have you ever looked into getting some items you treasure of your daughters made into something usable? For example clothes can be made into cushion covers or a bedspread if enough of them, or into a teddy. That way you can look and use them daily rather than hidden away in a pile. Their are people online who do this if you take a look

Like this
lovekeepcreate.co.uk/keepsake-blankets/

I have not read the whole thread forgive me but I will say that whilst I agree with you .......it does get boring having the same all the time and sometimes a little treat lifts the boredom..... sorry op

You're unreasonable thinking that cheap clothes cost much less to make than expensive ones, it's mostly profits and marketing that account for the difference

Power to you MrsDeVere I can't imagine how hard that is, but it's inspirational that you recognise that and doing something about it

I think not being able to throw things away for whatever reason - some of them very valid - is a different issue than buying loads of stuff in the first place.

I also don't doubt houses have got smaller over the past decades but my parents live in a 200 year old property with no storage space at all, because when it was built people didn't have possessions which needed to be stored. They are in awe of the cupboard space in my 1960s house.

I don't think anyone's saying not to buy anything at all. I just feel that buying a lot less would be a good start.

"my parents live in a 200 year old property with no storage space at all, because when it was built people didn't have possessions which needed to be stored. "

Hm. Old houses tended to have cellars though didn't they?
As others have noted, many people have more space than ever because families are smaller and more people are living on their own.

Lunalove have you read any inventories of the 1800s? Some of them are quite long. Lots of people had possessions that helped them do things like farm land or undertake a trade or at least do the washing and ironing as we do now. At the very least there would have been a shared outhouse. Our modern boxy terraced house is appalling for storage.

Yes it worries me too, where all this plastic is going to end up. Sure individuals can choose not to buy it - but it's still there in the shops, there are still millions of factories over the world churning out all this disposable plastic crap. It's just so cheap and easy to buy. We buy it, use it once, it breaks and we chuck it in the bin, destined for landfill. I am a bit of a hypocrite - I live in a house full of clutter - but I can't help thinking that if we didn't think about stuff so much we'd be much happier. I think the government should put an extra charge on anything sold that is non-recyclable - the plastic bag charge has massively reduced the number of plastic bags used, it is possible to make a difference.

Agree that there is way too much stuff!! But - a lot of people can't afford to buy the more expensive, high-quality versions that are actually going to be better value in the long run. I've done this with shoes for many years - having to replace yearly whereas if I had got an expensive leather pair in the first place I wouldn't have needed to ger a new pair every bloody 6 months!

I'm not sure generalisations about the 1800s are going to be especially helpful to us, tbh. Simply because 'people' had such massively varying houses, lifestyles and possessions then. Many of which we clearly shouldn't want to go back to. I mean, to take the school uniforms example, I'll be storing anything that's still usable from DC1 for DC2. That wouldn't have been an issue in 1800 because those of my ancestors who lived in the UK at that time wouldn't have been getting much in the way of schooling.

The salient point is that the average living space for a British family is getting smaller, not bigger, and that in order for your argument to hold good OP you need to understand that avoiding the likes of H and M and storing rather than purchasing new every year is financially inaccessible to some people. Avoiding cheap, mass produced low quality stuff is only a choice when it's a choice.

I completely agree OP and think the same. Even if you decide to check out (not easy or practical) everything you buy is over packaged, it's so wasteful

Packaging is definitely a huge issue. I try not to buy overpackaged things because it just pisses me off, but when I do, I've taken to leaving surplus packaging in the shop. I read this was supposed to be better, to discourage retailers, but it doesn't seem to have done much. I also find online is incredibly hit and miss for this too. Some stuff is really efficiently packed, some not remotely. Hugh FW did a programme about it. I don't use Amazon though, which seems to be the worst offender.

We buy pretty much everything online so it's hard to control. I bought 3 bath toys the other day and the amount of plastic and packing was ridiculous

I'm dreading Xmas as you just feel pressured to buy crap that no one wants.

But why do people let themselves feel pressured to buy crap?

What is stopping you from saying 'we have a budget of £x per person/or no presents this year - donation to charity/trip to the theatre/whatever instead, or just agree to buy a book each/secret santa.

If other people choose to spend lots of money on crap that is their problem, don't feel you have to buy something just because someone buys you something.

I love Christmas - I positively enjoy sending cards to friends I don't see very often, but I buy very, very few presents. No one I know really needs or wants anything; nephews and neices (all teenagers now) only want cash - easy.

The Christmas thing is very hard - we only have a small family but still receive more 'stuff' than we want or need because they are kind and generous people. Buying for them is the same as none of them really need anything and have houses full of their own 'stuff' but to stop buying would seem mean and not in the spirit of Christmas.

I miss the way Christmas and birthdays used to be when you got something you had longed for and really appreciated but it doesn't work that way in the modern world - stock turnover is so quick that it's buy now or miss out and nice thing are easily available even to those on a very small budget from supermarkets and the likes of B&M.

Re packaging, I work in an industry that makes much of the 'stuff' being discussed (and yes I do recognise the irony of that - I know we only use factories where the workers are well paid and treated but we're still making a product with no real worth just because there is a market for it).

Anyway - packaging, the reason there's so much of it is that it is needed to keep them secure and looking good on the long journey from Chinese factory to packing house to a ship and then to UK warehouse and finally the High Street. And also because many stores demand it to make gifts look more inviting and better value for money.

That's appalling throwing away decorations every year, I've had mine for many years and occasionally the odd one does end up at the charity shop and I buy one new thing every year but basically they are the same ones from years ago.

I hope the poster who said that she bought new decorations every year did take the old ones to the charity shop and didn't actually throw them away?!

I was really shocked once when in a general discussion two friends cheerfully admitted to throwing away duvets when they needed cleaning rather than taking them to the dry cleaners! They said it was cheaper to buy new ones than paying for them to be cleaned. I was appalled and said didn't they care about the resources that were required to make them and the amount of landfill to dispose of them - they couldn't give a hoot .

The way we are treating the planet like some completely disposable utility is very depressing and worrying.

I think the decoration thing is because of you have a sort of "dressed" tree (rather than mixture of decorations) when they smash you often can't find a replacement so have to buy a whole different theme. I mean I know it sounds weird if you don't do it but it's just how it is

I think you have to be secure in your own skin to do Christmas your own way and not buy into the desire to buy everything in sight. I know some of my inlaws think I'm very odd and pity my kids because I ask for things like Go Ape vouchers or cinema vouchers - they are very much of the opinion that Christmas is about a huge mountain of presents, quantity over quality.

I haven't seen it as much on MN but on another parenting site with a similar name last year there were endless threads about whether a parent had bought "enough" for their kids and then reeling off a huge long list of presents. And then you're a "bah humbug spoilsport" if you don't buy an elf on the shelf and another huge bag of presents for Christmas Eve because it's all about the kiddies, innit?

This wastefulness isn't about money AT ALL. I totally understand that people just don't have the budget to spend loads on better items which are going to last longer. When I had my first job out of Uni I was totally skint for the first 6 months, so did things like buy a cheap black skirt and black pair of trousers which went with everything else in my wardrobe and I wore nothing else for work until they fell to bits - by when I could afford better. I also see the argument in not buying better quality items for a growing child, especially if they're the youngest or you don't have anyone to hand things on to. However there are some people who do like to buy expensive items for children who barely wear them and you can pick up real bargains second hand.

I also think the point about the carrier bags is a really good one - we've had it for a couple of years now in Scotland and although I do forget sometimes to take a bag we have a whole stash of reusable ones which I take with me to the supermarket. Carrier bag usage has been slashed by something like 90%.

I agree with OP. Since having kids I am surprised at the amount of stuff they apparently 'need'. This Summer most of their toddler friends 'needed' play houses, sandpits, trampolines... what's wrong with a ball? And this weekend we've been at a party. I felt bad because the party bag had better gifts than we gave. But then I felt a bit fed up. My kids don't need more toys. Why spend do much?

The Christmas thing is hard too. We have an enormous extended family and one side goes over the top. I actually asked if we could tone it down this year and they said no! My kids and I will get do much stuff we neither want nor need.

I'd give it all to the other half then corn regifting is a thing.
I have s budget of £200 per child this year and that's literally it they won't get any other presents. My kids will be like little orphan Annie's compared to most I suspect as that will not go far with teens

I completely agree with you op. I have the spent the last few months using the Kondo method to declutter our house. Less stuff has made day to day life much easier. I rarely buy anything these days unless we really need it as i don't want to fill the house back up again. I am dreading Christmas. We all got so much pointless tat last year, most of which went straight to the charity shop. I felt guilty as people had been kind enough to buy gifts but we really didn't want or need them. One year we got motorised salt and pepper grinders! This year for my dc I am sticking to the "something they want, something they need, something to wear and something to read" rule. I usually buy vouchers for other families, to go to the cinema, bowling or out for a meal. Some relatives we don't even see a couple of times a year yet the gift exchanging continues, I don't know how to approach it but I really wish we could stop! It does worry me that all this stuff will end up in landfill.