To think that buying "stuff" is getting out of hand?

[LunaLoveg00d]

Let me preface by saying I am not a lentil knitting vegan eco-warrior. I buy stuff, I drive, I fly abroad on holiday and we don't grow our own food.

However. Since I have had my first child - only 13 years ago - the culture of buying "stuff" seems to have boomed and I don't think it's positive. Supermarkets and other shops are full of (mainly plastic) tat which people are encouraged to buy for every festival imaginable - Valentine's, Mother's Day, Father's Day, Easter, New Year, Christmas, Halloween - the list is endless.

You can't just have a pumpkin lantern for Halloween any more - you have to have fairy lights, cupcake cases, scary decorations, glow in the dark skeletons, adult AND child costumes, bunting, paper chains, etc etc etc. And nearly everything sold is poor quality or designed to be used once or twice and thrown away.

Clothing is the same - chains like the supermarkets, Primark, New Look or H&M are all about churning out clothes as cheaply as possible, designed to be worn for a few weeks or months and then chucked.

It's just all so wasteful and crazy. We are filling up landfills at a rate of knots with all of our plastic crap and disposable clothing and teaching our kids that celebrating festivals and special days isn't about being nice to each other or spending time making or finding a special gift, it's about buying as much "stuff" as you can as cheaply as you can and then chucking it out when you're finished.

All a bit depressing really.

I think there's quite a sensible backlash against crazy consumerism through Marie Kondo books. So many people get drawn into buying lots of rubbish pointless crap but she helps readers really consider how joyful/useful things are. I'm not minimalistic as a result but have a much simpler less crap filled life and recycle/reuse/walk/make.

People think they need the lastedt faddy thing to be happy

And I like doing less wasteful Christmases. Secret Santas with wish lists so that people get what they want. Asking others exactly what they would like for £xx and stating what my children/myself would find useful. Sending happy Christmas emails instead of posting cards. Making some gifts. Filling kids stockings with useful nice things (pj's if they need them or some funky socks on top of the usual sweets).

I buy cheap clothes. Most last years. The only thing that stops me wearing clothes from 25 years ago is that they don't fit me any more.

I have been drawn into this with ds and it's sad because he wasn't materialistic when he was a young toddler, but every time he was ill or we were struggling, I'd get a cbeebies magazine, or a little lego box with my tesco tokens or whatever, and he has become materialistic. Now I struggle to reverse the trend, largely, because I'm also materialistic.

I wish I could find a way to teach ds to enjoy community rather than material things, but tbh, I find social situations and confrontation really hard. I wonder if we could start a new culture of kind gentle community that would ease us all out of this silly materialistic phase that we are in?

Both grandparents buy our children experiences for Christmas. Things like annual passes to local farm/ swimming pool/ zoo. Then every time we go we try and take a picture there, and print and send with a message on the back. That way the children get reminded all year that this was a special gift from granny etc and how lucky they are they can go.
Ds2 is 5 so his messages are things like ' fank you grandma for the zoo tikkett, the monkey pood all day'!! With a picture of him grining.

My bugbear is that it is so expensive to mend things these days. I lost a coat button and couldn't find a close match anywhere, so it cost £5.99 for a pack of five. A broken cardigan zip cost about a fiver to replace and took a couple of hours to do. Knitting wool is becoming a luxury item. You can often buy new (imported rubbish) as cheaply, or almost, as you can fix something half worn out. Home baking is ridiculously expensive too, but that's another story.

Artandco that is a really good idea.

Luna I used to work with someone who would ask her children to choose a charity to donate £5 every Xmas or birthyday. Mine are both key stage 2 so old enough to appreciate and understand it so I'll do that this year. Plus experience vouchers.

Yes I also like tickets or memberships as gifts too

I bought 2 skirts in primark, Black pencil skirts,
Cost me 7 pounds (3.65 each each) I badly needed them and was on a v small budget as I was 18 and in my first office job with fuck all spare cash.
I'm now late 20's. I still have them (stealth boast, they still fit well they did until I got pregnant ), So I disagree that everything cheap is bad quality,
I tend to buy skirts, dresses, leggings etc cheap (never more than £30 a piece) then I spend about £100 max on Jeans, £500 on coats (My current coat I've had for 5 years and its still like new, I wear it at least 5 months of the year), and then a stupid limitless amount on accessories, bags and makeup that I love as I think thats where quality really changes (I might also have a slight designer handbag obsession)
I think most of my items last at least 2-3 years, In fact the only short term piece I owned was a pair of jeans which were £95 (reduced from almost 300) they lasted me 10 weeks, 5 wears! I think you really need to use your own judgement IMO, carefully look at seams, material (thickness, feel etc), and any patterns on them. You can't really go wrong with your own judgement, I never really have except for aforementioned bastard jeans
That said I agree with you on the rest.
I've also noticed that people redecorate at alarming rates,
I had a couple of friends over for lunch a few weeks back, one commented that I hadn't 'changed my soft furnishings since she'd last visited' last visit was under 3 months ago! 3 months! Who has the time and money to be redecorating, I also get alarmed by the amount of people selling things that are 'nearly new but I'm redecorating'' what?! I mean sure, some things will look nearly new even if they're yonks old, but there are so many! WHO are these people that have time to redecorate etc once a year or less?
WHY? D:

YANBU. I'll never forget spending much of boxing day stuck in traffic around Westfield going to and from visiting family. It was rammed with shoppers and I just wanted to shout from the car 'why do you all need more stuff!!!!'

I just don't buy into it. Maybe this works for me because I have a fairly minimalist style.

Halloween is a hand carved pumpkin and a pretty bowl of apples.
Christmas is a tree, stockings, a wreath on the door, some holly and some candles.

Easter is daffodils and tulips.

I find decorating from nature much more soothing than shiny stuff.

Much of this can go on the compost heap when the "holiday" is done.

Good thread.

I agree with everyone else, absolutely hate clutter and tat. My Mother and MIL were the worst when the kids were little. The presents just got bigger and bigger...up to and including plastic garden houses, ball pools and a trampoline.

I buy pretty much all my clothes from the charity shop. I can afford decent stuff but I just cant be arsed to go into the city to choose it. I also love the way that with charity shops it's 'giving back'.

Today I bought a new 'princess' cat bed (with the original label still on £23!) for £1.99 and an antique poetry book for DD who is studying English Lit.

*Disclaimer! I would not normally buy a bed for the cat but she is ruining my cushions!!

People don't have the storage any more. I lived in a 4 Bed house with a loft and a garage, divorce is forcing me to potentially downsize which will mean I will have to spend more in the long run because I don't have space to store a £200 Christmas tree that I will buy once and bring out for 20 years ... So I'll buy a real tree for £39 and chuck it every year

Yup, find the whole consumerism thing a tad depressing.
Also in the UK even the expensive stuff isn't built to last IMO. Example: I bought a hand blender and a kitchen aid about 15 or so years ago in the USA. Shipped it (and pretty much all our electronics) back over and bought a transformer. All still going strong. I've bought kitchen appliances for work and they are poorly made and break in a short space of time.
White goods that break down after 5 years or less and we just accept it as normal now. It's a disgusting waste of resources.
I love w good bargain and I shop in primark, charity shops and occasionally fat face. Most of my primark stuff has lasted well. My fat face tops are ready for the rag bag after a couple of years.
Top that with folks being lazy and chucking shit out because they can replace it cheaply. Like for example, throwing out a shower curtain rather than cleaning it........

Totally agree about the increased consumerism.
A few years ago dh and decided to drastically reduce the number of Christmas presents that we gave to our dcs. It was becoming ridiculous as my family were buying them presents and my dcs often had over fifty presents to open on Christmas Day. In fact a few years ago by ds( who was 6 at the time) fell asleep whilst opening his presents. That was the final straw for me.
When I was a child I appreciated everything I got because I didn't have much

Also the whole redecorating/new sofa/kitchen etc when there is bugger all wrong with the ones they have. I've seen folk offering stuff on freecycle that if it's not picked up by today it's going to the tip. Perfectly pristine ikea furniture and the like!

Funny you started this thread
I've just been at a friend's house, she seems to think she has to buy her kids so much stuff and she said to me she's really worried about her credit card debt. Thing is, I don't think the kids really notice! And they're very active, which is great, but add on that to how quickly they grow out of these designer clothes and I'm thinking, why get into debt for that? We've been climbing trees and jumping in puddles! Happily my M&S jeans can cope with that but she was then saying about stains on DD1 top....

I can see how you'd want lots of stuff if you were really wealthy but I'm not and I'm puzzled by people paying to aspire IYSWIM.

Happy, she also said she thinks her lounge needs repainting, which it doesn't, and she's going to get quotes, not DIY.

Excellent thread OP.

I am in my 50s and do believe that I now do not need to buy ANYTHING unless something breaks.
Never go shopping as a leisure activity, it really is not fun at all, but I LOVE ebay for vintage, preloved, second hand stuff.

The christmas tat-fest is completely depressing and the opposite of the spirit of Christmas.

grumble over :)

I can't believe people buy new Christmas decs every year If that's the case why not buy 'living' decs like boughs of holly, ivy, fir branches and decorate with a few wired ribbons - surely everyone can make space in a draw for folded up ribbon?

The constant buying of clothes and home decor because of boredom - read a book? Take up a hobby? volunteer at a homeless shelter and realise your folly

I only recently replaced my 25 year old food processor that still works but spindle bit broken but still useable. Most of my house is other people's casts off in the family or the odd new thing. EBay good too.

Never been in debt. Why spend beyond your means?

Many of my clothes are from the cheaper end of the high street - I have had most of them for a number of years! As long as you take proper care of clothes they won't fall apart that easily.

I also can't understand people who buy new Christmas decorations every year. For me the beauty of Christmas decorations is getting them out year after year and remembering - they're like pretty little memories. I can't imagine throwing that away because icy-blue-and-frosty-with-neon-highlights is "in" this year. I always buy one or two decorations if (for example) I'm on holiday. They're great to get out and reminisce over Many of the baubles we have as a family are older than my brother and I!

'so what are we going to do about it?'
Yes, this.
I'm trying a gradual withdrawal from the shops as I have been partial to the odd splurge here and there. Online food shopping works for me as I am never tempted to drift on over to the clothes department.
I sell old clothes and toys on eBay and use this pot of money to buy 'new' mainly pre loved gifts for my dc's at Xmas.
Basically, I try to consider if it's a need or a want. I am finding this challenging at the moment as I have a new baby and all of my pre pregnancy clothes look awful. To stop myself from hitting the shops like a mad women, I'm looking at trying 'challenge 33.' You can find loads of info about this on YouTube via bloggers.