To question whether this child should be in mainstream school?

[Goldenhandshake]

There is a child in my DC's year 3 class, I do not know the extent of his learning difficulties or conditions, I have spoken to his mum on a few occasions and she has stated he has ADHD, however there may be more she hasn't divulged, always assumed it was none of my business tbh. She was very open in saying he had set his siblings coat on fire previously (whilst the sibling was wearing it!).

However I am becoming increasingly worried, he has had several very violent outburst in class and the playground, he has been pulled off another child after wrapping his hands round his throat and choking the lad, has thrown a chair at the teacher and broken a window. It sounds very much like he has difficulty controlling his anger and I am now concerned for my DC's safety.

I don't want to be one of those parents who pushes out children for being different or having complex needs, but I equally do not want the worry that he will attack or harm my child.

So WIBU to request a meeting or call with the school to find out what they are doing to either limit the risk or manage this child's needs appropriately and keep the rest of the class safe?

Sally I don't think the op can ask about the targets of another child. She has to keep it specific to matters of safeguardimg her own child which the school should listen to.

Plan I feel for you. The boy I supported for a very short time in year 6 had been pushed around from pillar to post and his mum didn't seem to be getting much support. Early intervention is vital.

OP can ask about her child's education and targets

DC are expected to make X progress - if this isn't made because of a child being difficult in class and the children aren't learning due to anxiety - them it matters!

DS lost a lot of education due to a difficult child - because he was over looked - teacher had one eye on the other boys and failed my DS spectacularly -

He was expected to gain Level 6 at the end of year 6 but got 3/4's huge difference

This places him in lower sets at high school.

All because of one child who ruled the roost for nearly 2 years - they never got a handle on him -

He wast SEN - they never told his mother half of what went on - and it wasn't my place to tell her either

*wasn't

Sally, I misunderstood your post. Of course what you suggest is reasonable.

3 things to add:

1 - OP - you do have a right to pass on the effect this is having on your child yes.

2 - when I started working in a really tough school, back in about 1998, there was a huge flotilla of TAs - I would say maybe 17/18? and loads of LEA (as it was then) support and help available. Move to 2014 there were 4 TAs in a school the same size and with intakes requiring a lot more specialist help. I can't tell you how hard it is to stretch the support that thin.

1. EHCPs. I don't know if they are easier to apply for as a parent but I can tell you that as a school it requires hours and hours and hours of work "proving" how you have spent a "notional" £6000 before they consider releasing a bit of money for those successful. Where I worked they then capped this and forced schools to reapply for the next band up. The LA next door gave their schools the full amount.

It's massively frustrating and constitutes hours and hours of work.

Fund schools properly!!

I would love my DS to have an EHCP, but school will not support it and nor would county. My county was one of those affected by the Baker-Small scandal and county actually refuses nearly all EHCPs and gets in the nasty lawyers to block tribunals. They even go after parents who have EHCPs in a bid to get them removed!! I do not have the time, energy or money to fight my county council.

OP, if you are going to question anyone over the child's suitability to be in a mainstream school it should be your county council's education department.

Jason schools hide their SEN kids by not supporting EHCP because the information on how many statement children they have is publicly accessible on their ofsted report. Years ago, a very naive me opted not to send my DS to the school with all the SEN kids as I thought he'd get no time allocated to him. Now I wish he'd gone there as they'd have identified his issues sooner and would have likely supported EHCP for him. When kids have needs the school can access the pupil premium, which is extra money, but it is not ring fenced and doesn't have to be spent solely on the child, meaning schools can sneakily increase their budgets by claiming it. If a child has an EHCP then the money for them may be greater, but is ring fenced and can only be spent on the child.

So school has visible SEN kids and no increase in overall budget vs. School has fewer visible SEN kids and an increased budget.

You can guess which option schools find more attractive.

Strikeout fail!
C o unty council

Oh Plan. Yes, Fuck the lot of em and for you.

I used to work with disabled kids. I always remember the mum of a very tall autistic 15 year old boy who was often hurt by him during his violent outbursts.
There is a big difference between a child who has a few outbursts and needs extra support, and those few children who have major issues.
www.ageofautism.com/2013/10/lost-afraid-where-to-turn-when-autism-turns-violent.html

Yes this is unusual, but I do feel these parents are constantly silenced. I felt desperately sorry for the mum I knew. She knew she was at increasing risk herself.

gosh I take a break from mn cos of the blatant disablism on here
and come back to another anti thread.
nothing changes, wtf are mn hq doing allowing a thread like this? with a title like this??
fuck all

dixie the sad thing is how many people fall for this shite......mn hq do nothing , not even a link to TIMC......

and i have an nt son who was bullied to fuck by nt kids
no big head line there though.

just saw mn hq post. if they really felt that....this thread would go poof
did they not read the thread title???

Runninglulu - a) how would the OP know what is causing the behaviour? It's none of her business. And b) bollocks is that how a DX of ADHD is made and I'm not sure how being a foster carer qualifies you to make that statement

Is ADHD/ASD actually causing the violence or is it something else?

1. ADHD / ASD doesn't Cause violence in anyone.

In many cases a diagnosis of ADHD is given because the doctors don't know what's wrong but clearly can see something's wrong.

No... ADHD is a recognised medical condition to do with attainment of attention. Nothing to do with diagnosing becuase things are wrong with behaviour, or because they "Don't know what is wrong".

Samco To be fair this thread has actually gone too badly in comparision to similar ones, i can fully understand why Mumsnet put up a warning rather than remove the thread.

But now we are starting to get the "MOST ADHD IS DIAGNOSED BECAUSE DOCTORS DONT KNOW NUFFIN" post it won't be long before it slides.

[;www.autism.org.uk/adhd] used this site a lot to help me with my support work. There's a lot of crap spouted about ADHD particularly in the media from the likes of Katie Hopkins.