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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be furious with my sisters in laws refusing the flu jab when my nephew has cancer

79 replies

AdmiralCLingus · 28/09/2016 21:42

My nephew is 3. He has been in and out of hospital on antibiotics since his chemo started and has just started the second stage of his treatment.

My sisters in laws are bloody wishy washy at the best of times but this just takes the biscuits. They (mainly her mil) are refusing to have the flu jab. They are finding excuse after excuse not to have it done and it's really starting to make us angry. With his immune system so low (he has been neutropenic more times than I can count now) why is it so hard for them to understand the enormous risk something like the flu could be to him?

OP posts:
Doggity · 28/09/2016 21:47

YANBU but they will need to stay away from him at any sign of cold and sniffles or other illness anyway.

Poor little boy, I wish him well.

neonrainbow · 28/09/2016 21:49

Well it's their choice. They'll just have to stay away from him.

SallyMcgally · 28/09/2016 21:51

YANBU at all. Poor little fellow.

TotallyOblivious · 28/09/2016 21:51

Confused... Are they aunts to your nephew and is the MIL his GM? Confused

Yoarchie · 28/09/2016 21:51

:(
Why are they refusing? That flu jab is given to all sectors of the population.

FiveGoMadInDorset · 28/09/2016 21:52

It's not a guarantee that they won't get flu. I had the flu jab last year but came down with another strain, flu is evolving

Coulddowithanap · 28/09/2016 21:52

I agree with posters above, very unfair of them. They shouldn't be around him till they have had their flu jab.

callycat1 · 28/09/2016 21:52

It made dh really ill so I'm not sure about it.

CockacidalManiac · 28/09/2016 21:57

Yes, the flu jab only gives protection against certain strains. It won't protect against coughs and colds. It would be a gesture by your family that they care, though. It's only a moment's discomfort, that has the potential to prevent disaster for your nephew.

RazWaz · 28/09/2016 21:57

Hell yes she is being totally unreasonable! I have asthma and OH has COPD so getting the flu means hospitalisation and steroids for us usually (has happened before, once even for just a cold). We always get the jab and so does everyone we spend a fair amount of time with (my parents and step dad, his mother and siblings).

Even if you are not normally supposed to get the jab you can request one saying you are a carer or close to a person who is high risk and it will be accepted.

I would refuse to see the child until the jab is done or your child is out of danger. Flu can kill the vulnerable and it's not worth the risk.

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 28/09/2016 21:59

I am so sorry about your nephew - wishing him the very very best

That's said I don't know about flu - as frankly with or without it I still get a stinking cold every year - and I don't know anyone that has had flu ? Maybe calm down and read around

It's a very upsetting scenario though Flowers

RazWaz · 28/09/2016 22:00

*meant to type "let them see the child". I'd also avoid them at the slightest sign of sniffles as you don't want to risk becoming a carrier.

Cherryskypie · 28/09/2016 22:00

Utter arseholes. Can your sister tell them her DS won't be seeing any of them?

Hadiever · 28/09/2016 22:01

Can your nephew not have the flu jab as then he would be protected anyway.

DeathStare · 28/09/2016 22:03

It made dh really ill so I'm not sure about it

As ill as a three year old with cancer? Would your DH have swapped with him?

CockacidalManiac · 28/09/2016 22:05

Can your nephew not have the flu jab as then he would be protected anyway.

No Immunisation is 100% effective, especially with a poor immune system. That's why immunity is important in the surrounding population.

Cherryskypie · 28/09/2016 22:07

I've had the flu once. If you've had it you'd know. It bears about as much resemblance to a cold as a hurricane does to a gentle breeze.

FiveGoMadInDorset · 28/09/2016 22:07

Sorry, meant to add that I wouldn't go near my sister who has cancer with a sniffle from either me or the children even though I am not eligAble for the jab any more

Original poster
AdmiralCLingus · 28/09/2016 22:07

Even if they couldn't have it free (which they can as they are both over 65) lots of pharmacies have a paid service now anyway! I don't normally have it but have paid for it this year so I can spend time with my nephew

OP posts:
AnyTheWiser · 28/09/2016 22:08

"People that have been vaccinated mustn't have close contact with immune-compromised people for around two weeks after vaccination, because there is a remote chance that the vaccine virus may be passed to them."

This is on the flu vaccine leaflet. Is there a chance they've seen that, so don't want to put him at risk?

Original poster
AdmiralCLingus · 28/09/2016 22:11

They have colds at the moment and are using that as a reason not to have it but still want to see their grandson. They just don't seem to get that something as minor as a cold to them has the potential to be fatal to him

They don't live local but do come to stay for extended visits. Two weeks wouldn't be an issue for them to be away if that makes sense

OP posts:
GplanAddict · 28/09/2016 22:12

Same with the Rotavirus jab given to newborns. It's a live vaccine.

Sorry to hear about your nephew :(

Doggity · 28/09/2016 22:13

Any I don't think that's true of the adult flu jab because it's given to immunosuppressed people.

Hadiever · 28/09/2016 22:15

Anythewiser
But if the young boy has had his flu jab first he should be ok as it will be for the same strain.
The difficulty is you can really only do your best. There is no way of knowing who may just gave had a flu jab or a cp jab ( same risks) or not when you are in public.

Hadiever · 28/09/2016 22:16

Any - yes I was meaning the nasal vaccine