To be furious with my sisters in laws refusing the flu jab when my nephew has cancer

[AdmiralCLingus]

My nephew is 3. He has been in and out of hospital on antibiotics since his chemo started and has just started the second stage of his treatment.

My sisters in laws are bloody wishy washy at the best of times but this just takes the biscuits. They (mainly her mil) are refusing to have the flu jab. They are finding excuse after excuse not to have it done and it's really starting to make us angry. With his immune system so low (he has been neutropenic more times than I can count now) why is it so hard for them to understand the enormous risk something like the flu could be to him?

I'm confused. Do you mean great nephew? I can't understand how the sil could be over 65 otherwise. Anyway, doesn't really matter they are being massively unreasonable. They should definitely not go anywhere near the little boy (or his relatives until recovered from the cold) until they had the jabs.

they are cruel and ignorant YANBU

It is my sisters husbands parents I'm talking about. Sorry for the confusion!

Ah fuck them,

Just keep him away from them indefinitely, they cant be that bothered or they would take the extra precaution.

doggity/hadiever- sorry, yes, thats' the leaflet for the nasal vaccine.
I presume it cannot be given to the 3yo. You cannot have it if you have a condition that weakens the immune system.

The information on the PIL for the adult vaccine says it is inactivated so very unlikely to make them ill. Which is one of the things they're saying is a reason they don't want it

This has made me think of something - and maybe there's someone on this thread who knows the answer.

DMIL seems to have had her cancer definitively treated and has been given a clean bill of health by her oncologist. But she's had half her lymph nodes removed. Should we (DH, DC and I, with no other medical factors) still be getting our flu jabs this year?

YANBU at all! FFS, their non-scientific beliefs are endangering a child. Neutropenia is a situation that needs to be taken very seriously. A simple cold can kill a neutropenic person. They need to get on board or stay away.

You need to scatter a few apostrophes into your posts, OP.

What's their issue with the flu jab?

I am immunosuppressed and have been told by dr not to have it.
It would probably make me very ill and also wouldn't develop antibodies.
An immunosuppressed person does not have antibodies either to previous vaccines or previous illnesses.

Disclosure: DH died from infection while neutropenic from chemo. So, you, know, I know.

Oh, sorry, they think it'll make them feel ill? Idiots to prioritise that over their DGS's life.

Haha don't i just 😳

Her mil won't have it done by anyone but God as you know, those lowly doctors use a cheap vaccine that's going to poison her...

Oh crisps

What arseholes. And you can bet that your sister will be blamed for keeping their grandson away from them. And clearly no one has managed to get through to them that if they have the slightest virus they cannot see your sister or her husband incase they carry the bug to DNephew.

I can think of quite a lot of things that I would want to say to them, but I wont post them here as I would hate to upset you OP. As it is, at least your sister has you backing her up. What is her husbands reaction to them refusing?

Tbh these are the people that insisted on being at the hospital when he came round from an 8 hour operation to remove part of his hand so nothing is surprising me anymore

Madg - Immuno supressed is different to neutropenic. Totally understand why you wouldn't have it. But for a person with no other health issues to refuse, particularly when they have a family members that it affects, is, I think BUR.

But surely the flu jab is massively inefficient against flu. It just seems to make more sense for anyone feeling in any way under par to stay away from the child.

He is getting better at putting his foot down tbh bogey, but he still gives in to their whims most of the time. Like letting them stay with my sister for a week when she's exhausted from yet another hospital stay and not sticking up for her when they dictate to her 😠

Hadiever - whether the vaccine would be safe for the OP's nephew, or whether he had it before he got sick, doesn't matter - thanks to the chemo the poor wee lad doesn't have much in the way of an immune system right now to mount a response either way. Which is why it is so vital that everyone around him works hard to minimise the chances of him picking up an infection. His grandparents are being unbelievably stupid and selfish IMO.

Yes, that too. When DH was in this situation I was vigilant about anyone with a sniff coming near me, because I would have have to stopped visiting him in ICU. BUT, I knew that flu vacc probably protected my mum. And all these things are often most infectious before symptoms show, so, if you are offered a vaccine and you are in this kind of situation, take it.

Most of us have been incredibly vigilant with not visiting when we have any kind of symptoms. I've had to let them down with visits a few times when I've just had headaches, just in case. Dd had a rash and we didn't go (turned out to be an allergic reaction but would never have risked it)

I don't think they get that, not only could they be compromising my nephew, but also all of the other children on the ward hes on

YANBU they need to get it done or stay away from him they obviously don't understand how dangerous it would be for him to get so much as a cold while he is going through treatment it completely destroys his already weakened immune system. When my grandma was going through her cancer treatment we couldn't go anywhere near her if we had anything like a cold because she had no immune system from the chemo. Make them go and get the flu jab or tell them to stay the --fuck- away from your nephew. Praying that your nephew pulls through this and gets better.

Crisps
I'm permanently neutropenic and nobody seems to take it seriously at all