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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

IABU but WTF?

137 replies

Famalam13 · 28/09/2016 13:50

OK so I know IABU as the thought behind this is very kind.

FIL and his DW are coming to visit this weekend. They have offered to make a lasagna (the DW is Italian) and have sent a list of ingredients for us to buy. This includes 8 balls of mozzarella, an entire block of cheddar, 8 boxes of lasagna sheets and 750g of mince (plus a lot of tomato). This will make two trays.

I don't eat meat so will have to sort out something for myself and DS is 8mo so will eat hardly any. DH is on SW so will have a tiny portion.

Surely that amount of lasagna for 3 people is insane?! Also am a bit put out that I have been ignored, feeling a bit sidelined in my own house.

OP posts:
WussyWat · 28/09/2016 13:51

Just half the ingredients and explain why Confused

user1474627704 · 28/09/2016 13:52

They must think you are hosting a party for them, because that would feed about 15 people.

MoreGilmoreGirls · 28/09/2016 13:53

They offered to make a lasagne - just say thanks but no thanks. It's not much of an offer when you don't eat meat and you are expected to fork out for a shed load of ingredients!

Original poster
Famalam13 · 28/09/2016 13:53

I believe DH is explaining now wussy :) I know it's ridiculous, just feel a bit hurt that they don't care about what I eat or about DH's diet. Clearly they didn't enjoy what I cooked for them last time :(

OP posts:
DudeWheresMyVulva · 28/09/2016 13:53

So, they are staying at your house and expect you to buy the food they were presumably going to cook as an offering / gift / thankyou?

MidnightVelvettheSixth · 28/09/2016 13:53

Could you halve the meat & substitute Quorn for the second tray?

Or ask them why they need 2? I don't even use one box of lasagna sheets up but they want 8 boxes? Are they clear about numbers? A typo somewhere?

I'd ask them & check also pointing out that you won't be having any anyway...

DerekSprechenZeDick · 28/09/2016 13:53

You can never have too much lasagna

Lasagna left overs are necessary

Dementedswan · 28/09/2016 13:54

8 boxes of lasagna sheets?!

MillionToOneChances · 28/09/2016 13:54

8 boxes of lasagne sheets?! YANBU at all, imposing a meat dish when you're a vegetarian is very rude and implies slightly that they don't think you can cook something they'll appreciate.

OhNoNotMyBaby · 28/09/2016 13:54

Way too much! 8 balls of Mozzarella? 8 BOXES of lasagne sheets?! sounds very odd..
And no, YANBU. Given your own requirements I would say something like "Sounds delicious but neither myself nor my son could eat it, so how about I cook xyz instead..."

DudeWheresMyVulva · 28/09/2016 13:55

8 boxes of lasagne sheets?

I mass cook lasagne quite often for when we have a kitchen table supper. 2 boxes easily do 6 gown adults.

Original poster
Famalam13 · 28/09/2016 13:55

Yes Dude and that list would cost a lot more than what I would normally spend on a meal! Worried now that they have felt hungry when with us in the past although I tend to overcater (not to the extent of this lasagna admittedly).

OP posts:
seminakedinsomebodyelsesroom · 28/09/2016 13:55

I don't think you are being completely unreasonable. Did you specifically ask them what you could buy? If I was going to someone's home and offering to cook for them I think I'd also expect to bring the ingredients.

Plus I'd offer to cook a meat free version if I knew one of the people didn't eat meat. Maybe that list is so they can make one meat one vegi?

Maybe they are expecting you to freeze one, which is a nice thought I suppose.

TheIncredibleBookEatingManchot · 28/09/2016 13:55

I think I would just tell them I couldn't get all the ingredients and say I'll make something else instead.

DudeWheresMyVulva · 28/09/2016 13:56

At this point I'd be saying 'how about you take us to the pub instead'.

Original poster
Famalam13 · 28/09/2016 13:56

Glad I'm not massively out of touch in thinking that's a ridiculous shopping list for a lasagna!

OP posts:
Gatekeeper · 28/09/2016 13:56

get some of those plastic food boxes from Poundland; divide the lasagne into portions for your dh and freeze. I do this all the time with moussaka and lasagne

TaterTots · 28/09/2016 13:56

Are you sure they don't mean eight lasagne sheets, not eight boxes?

Amalfimamma · 28/09/2016 13:56

Famalam13

(the DW is Italian)

Would you like me to teach you a few choice words for Her? 😇

MidnightVelvettheSixth · 28/09/2016 13:57

Also just a thought as the wife is Italian, has there been something cultural lost in the request along the way...?

DudeWheresMyVulva · 28/09/2016 13:57

yeah- gotta be 8 sheets. Has to be. Surely.

Otherwise 2017 is going to be the Year of The Frozen Lasagne.

Original poster
Famalam13 · 28/09/2016 13:58

Everything is coming through DH who is being messaged by them while at work so I don't know whether he offered to buy the ingredients. They are trying to be kind so will pull myself together. Not sure they quite get people who don't eat meat.

OP posts:
BibbidiBobbidi · 28/09/2016 13:58

If I was having an Italian person cook me a lasagne I'd like them to make their own pasta! Yum yum!!

Original poster
Famalam13 · 28/09/2016 13:59

You are right must be 8 sheets but that still leaves a ridiculous amount of cheese! I think DH will go over his syn allowance somewhat Grin

OP posts:
DudeWheresMyVulva · 28/09/2016 13:59

I'd be thrilled to bits though to have an actual lasagne cooked for me by an actual Italian.

Even if it meant that I had to buy another freezer.