Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To cut my husband's ****edited by MNHQ**** with blunt scissors?

1018 replies

Pinkbabe1 · 28/09/2016 13:11

So my husband works shifts and this week it is his early shift - he is gone from the house by 5am. I came down this morning to find he had left his iPhone on the worktop. As I was making breakfast for DC's I pressed the home button on his phone to check the time and saw an unread message from my best friend of 27 years saying "is she in bed yet?".

Now, it's my birthday next week so I thought they were arranging some special surprise for me. So left it as that. Dropped the kids off at school but something was niggling at me, I just had this feeling in my gut. His iPhone has got a passcode which I don't know. On my third attempt, by pure and utter luck, I managed to guess it right and get into his phone. What I have seen has made me sick to my stomach. My "friend" has been sending my husband dirty naked pics of herself - full on legs spread and sex toys involved. There are no replies or conversation from him but then I guess these can be deleted??? I noticed he's saved the pictures to his camera roll also - presumably for quick access. I have no idea if they have met - I can't think straight at the moment it feels like everything is in slow motion

My husband NEVER leaves his phone at home so I suspect this was a mistake. I've currently packed all his bags and I am just about to post the pictures of my "friend" on Facebook with a tag saying "you are welcome to him"

I don't know what to do

OP posts:
pregnantat50 · 28/09/2016 14:42

Have you got someone that could come and be with you tonight Pink? I am angry on your behalf and dont think you should be alone.

I would block your 'friends' number, and only interact with your DH via solicitors. At some point in the future you may need closure and have questions answered but I would protect yourself from listening to whatever feeble excuse they come up with to save themselves.

Sending you hugs

ToffeeForEveryone · 28/09/2016 14:42

Think that means he already knew and didn't tell you.

Stay strong OP, this is fucking shit Flowers

DigestiveMuncher · 28/09/2016 14:42

Sounds like he already knew this was going on HmmConfused

Ilovewineandcrisps · 28/09/2016 14:43

What a nightmare I'm so sorrySad

BoopTheSnoot · 28/09/2016 14:43

I'd leave him OP he's probably as shocked and sickened as you are and didn't know what to say after confronting her

justilou · 28/09/2016 14:43

Arseholes....
Meanwhile, definitely make appointments at all the local solicitors and make him sweat.

ISpeakJive · 28/09/2016 14:43

The trollop probably just told him!!

Diddlydokey · 28/09/2016 14:43

Has she intercepted his FB?

ProfessorPickles · 28/09/2016 14:43

Boops suggested response Grin

So sorry this is happening to you OP. They're absolutely vile

Original poster
Pinkbabe1 · 28/09/2016 14:44

I've just replied saying "what do you mean, so sorry?" I feel sick

OP posts:
ThoraGruntwhistle · 28/09/2016 14:44

Did you reply to SFJ?

HerRoyalFattyness · 28/09/2016 14:44

Why is her husband sorry? Confused

ShowMeTheElf · 28/09/2016 14:44

I log onto my husbands FB all the time OP. It might not be him.
Make sure you get the husbands phone number out of your husbands' phone if you don't have it yourself, in case you get blocked on his FB. At this point I'd presume he has not seen your message.

ProfessorPickles · 28/09/2016 14:44

Either she's on his Facebook or he already knew, I suspect the first

pregnantat50 · 28/09/2016 14:45

There is no chance her Husband was involved in this deception is there. I mean more than just the knowledge of it taking place? That response he gave is weird, as if he is partly to blame.

InvoluntaryCelibacy · 28/09/2016 14:45

Sorry to hear this is happening to you OP :(

BastardGoDarkly · 28/09/2016 14:46

How odd, it does sound like her doesn't it?

blushrush · 28/09/2016 14:47

Just offering a different perspective OP, but he may not have known. It may be that the OW's husband has been emotionally 'checked out' of his marriage for a while and only suspected she was cheating.

So, it may be a case of he knew she is the type of horrid person to do this and he is sorry it turns out to be you she's done it to.

Give him the benefit of the doubt, at least until you know for sure.

Helmetbymidnight · 28/09/2016 14:47

It could be her, it could be him just found out, it could be he has known for a while...

Have you got family you can lean on op?

redisthenewblack · 28/09/2016 14:47

Confused what a bizarre response from the husband.

Could they be swingers?

PollyPerky · 28/09/2016 14:47

His reply makes perfect sense to me. he's being polite and he's sorry that his DW has done this to the OP.

He may have known all along and felt it best to keep out of it. Maybe his wife and him had an 'arrangement'.

OR he may be in shock, not believe it and feel the best he can right now is a rather bland 'I'm sorry' in case the OP is winding him up.

EdmundCleverClogs · 28/09/2016 14:48

Either her husband already knows (which makes him almost as culpable for not telling you), or she's hacking his FB (I can believe it, my friends ex did similar- no one more paranoid than a cheater). Does the husband have his mobile number public on his FB page?

justilou · 28/09/2016 14:48

Could stbxh and ow are over at hers - telling her husband?

PeppaAteMySoul · 28/09/2016 14:48

I also suspect it may not be him on his Facebook. His wife may have suspected that you would contact him so has logged onto his account to reply to messages then delete. Otherwise it's just weird.
I'm really sorry your husband and friend have been such utter awful cunts to you.

pregnantat50 · 28/09/2016 14:48

Maybe they have an open marriage so it didn't shock him. I am so sorry Op, xx

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In
This thread is not accepting new messages.