To be freaking out that DD has gotten her period!!!

[hungryhippo90]

Just exactly that!!
She's a big girl, 4"11and size 5 shoe. She looks about 12 by most people's guesses. I'd expected it to come soon-ish because she's started to get hairy legs. But I thought it would be in a year or so, which would put her at the age when I got my period, but she's 8. And this seems far too young..

Am I bu to really be freaking out about this?

I understand how you are feeling OP, you don't expect your little girl, and she is a little girl, to have to deal with puberty and periods and possibly unwelcome attention at such a young age. I realise children are getting younger but it just feels a little bit sad. She will more than likely be the first one, and the most of the other girls wont have this for another 3 or 4 years. My DD was 13.

Big hugs from me for you both.

Gosh, 8 is so very young. I'd be freaked out too.

Oh, OP. I have a nine year old and I too would be shocked if she started her periods now. It seems so young, my DD loves playing with her dolls and Build-a-Bears.
Hope she's OK

On the outrage at the 'unpleasant' posters on here - I do get where Edmund and knickersoftime are coming from (explicitly not including seeyou... in that, though!). I think it's probably best for the next generation of girls' attitudes to these things if they're not treated as some kind of childhood-robbing, shocking tragedy to be responded to with chocolate (-> setting up an emotional eating pattern right there), but just, as another pp said, as a normal bodily function with practical ways of coping with it. I think there's a lot of projecting of posters' own feelings about periods and about being women going on. I'd want my own dd's response, when this happens to her at 8 or any age, to be able to be a neutral 'oh' and going off confidently to find someone to help out with sanpro. Surely it should only cause upset if the child is embarrassed or thinks it means she's 'growing up' (which at this age is manifestly untrue), neither of which I'd want my dd to be associating with it? (And if there's pain, surely the answer is to find ways of eliminating/dealing with that, just as there would be if your child suffers asthma attacks or migraines).

YANBU to be freaked out, my DD is the same age and I am concerned for her as I think she may start soon, but she is still a child who plays with My Little Pony.

I started myself when I was only 10 and it is not nice to have to deal with it in primary school. My mum had to go in and tell the teacher, as I got in trouble for "forgetting" my swimming kit, when in reality I had my period and didn't want to go swimming, and also there were no facilities for pads etc in the toilets so the school had to put measures into place for me.

I hope your DD is ok and that the school can provide suitable facilities for her.

I have reported seeYous post so hoping it will be deleted for reasons of utter factual incorrectness and inappropriate.

Most posters have completely supported and understood the ops feelings completely.

There's a bit it beep beeping by the earlier unhelpful and unsupportive ones but generally I think we all can see ops view.

Hetero

Is your opinion based on how you think you would feel and how your dd should feel or from practical knowledge?

Do you have a dd of this age?

Oh bless you. I'd be shocked as well.
My friend was shocked the other week when her 8 year old started smelling of BO.
I dont think you're being unreasonable at all

I completely understand why you are freaked out & you're freaking out here & not in front of your daughter. YANBU.
Periods are no fun and I would feel terrible for my 8 year old daughter too

Hetero You don't get to dictate how your daughter feels about her own bodily functions nor do you have any control over it. OP should be open minded and follow her daughter's lead. I'm glad I had a lovely mum who hugged me when I cried and then helped me cope with it and feel grown up. I think people forget that bodies may be mature enough for periods but emotionally, 8 is very young.

Hetero I know what you mean, it's just a bodily function and all that, but actually, girls talk a lot at school and in groups about this stuff, and being ahead of the pack can be a bit of an issue. I also think it's unrealistic to say don't make it all about growing up, because it is part of puberty and not separate to it, and having adult looking female daughters by top primary brings a whole lot of other stuff around it (like inappropriate male sexual attention and harassment).

I'm sure the OP, now she's got over the shock, is handling it calmly and supportively. But trying to make out having your period at 8 is no big deal and just a bodily function is overdoing the blase attitude in my opinion- it is actually very early, the average age is about 12 and a half, even with earlier puberty (the average age of starting puberty is much earlier but now this stage before menarche is longer). It may even need checking out with the GP. It's also a risk for breast cancer.

I don't think it's weird either to post a thread, or be slightly concerned about the wider issues of your dd starting her periods at 8.

Ah bless. My dd is 8. Good luck. You sound like a caring mummy and she will be fine.

Yikes. DiddyDragon has just turned 8 and seems so little to be dealing with all of that. I'd be shocked too.

I think follow her lead. She might be upset, she might not. Either way there should be cake and cwtches.

'Gotten' is not a word.

'Has got'.

Thank you all for the lovely replies. J headed off to the chemist, where they had such a small selection of bits, so I headed into sainsburys, and had a shopping trip I wasn't particularly prepared for!
I left with umpteen pairs of knickers- I can't imagine that she's not going to need spares if she's not stuck sanitary works on properly or something,
Also got some lightweight towels... one of the packs came with a sanitary towel holder which seems a good idea!
Some hygiene wipes, they weren't femfresh but we're sold in a funky bag which I thought she would like, also have some nappy bags and a cute little wash bag. I bought her a gift set, just as I needed the little bag (sainsburys had very little else that was usable for the purpose!)
So she's also got some nice new toiletries to come home to.
I hope I didn't mess up buying what I did. I didn't see the teen started pack mentioned upper thread.

When I made it to the school she was playing with friends, and I was told that she dealt with it really well. I left the school (having not seen her, they didn't want her to have to explain to friends) but in the understanding that she was completely unfazed by it. She apparently said that she had started her period, and could they call me and let me know that she needs some pads...
So I left school feeling really proud of her. We're going to see what should be our new house this evening. I'm going to pick up some chocolates for us to share on the way.
Thank you so much everyone for the kindness, and the advice. I don't have anyone to turn to and ask for advice with these matters, and its scary being a mum at times like this!
It's just the idea of her having to be prepared for having her period come at that time every month, and all the cramps that come with it. Just last night we were out buying shopkins. Xxx

Glad you're getting used to the idea op. Your DD sounds lovely

And somehow hereto you managed to make a good point without being a dick! The posters you mentioned made no good points initially, only insults.

How we feel emotionally as parents doesn't always reflect how he actually parent. My eldest started secondary school this month and I was stressed and anxious about it because secondary school wasn't always a positive place for me. So, yeah, I stressed and worried on here and with my friends, would she get the bus OK? Would she bullied for wearing the wrong coat? Would she be able to use the cash free lunch system or would she - gasp - starve?!

My dd had no inkling of any of these concerns. I was positive and excited for and with her. We shopped for stationary and chatted about how much fun new lessons like French and cookery would be. She went off nervous but happy and excited and settled well. The op is probably calmly dealing with her dd right now because she got her initial reaction out of the way on here.

I'd react the same OP. What a shock so young.
Get her and yourself some nice chocolate too

Doggity:
If you'd read carefully, you would see I had said I'd like her response to be able to be neutral - i.e. I hioe I'll have given her the confidence and matter-of-factness in responding to her own body that she feels able to respond like that.

How very dare you suggest I would want to dictate her response to her?

I await your apology.

Ha! Cross post where you proved me right. Well done op, proof that you can present a calm and positive front to your child even if you're freaked out yourself! Hope my girls are so chilled when it's their turn!

hungry your dd sounds so sensible, so you must have done something right to this point! What you've bought sounds spot on. I have found it hard to get the products right for my dd, who is a bit older, I didn't ever have a heavy flow myself, for example, but she really does and we did go through a few 'teen' pads and pairs of pants over three or four months before we cracked the type of pant and the type of pad she needed, she also didn't realise how often they need changing. It's been a learning curve, but I hope we've been on it together, I think that's what most girls want, rather than any particular thing said or done.

longdiling, thank you.
Housewives, my dd is 1, but I have older boys and know about the vulnerabilities of growing up (which boys have to deal with too, albeit in different ways).
I just think it's unhelpful to attach such profound symbolism and currency to periods in particular. The more normalised they are, the less fertile ground there is for embarrassment/shame around them (incl in the playground - sorry, can't think of your name pp who said that and posting in a bit of a rush). After all - to think of an imperfect analogy - boys' voices changing can be embarrassing, and inconvenient (yes, mostly not painful), and identity-touching - one's voice being a big part of one -, but we are very matter-of-fact about that.

What a mature attitude she's shown. I think it's worth mentioning it to the doctor via a phone call, if yours do them. Then they can decide whether they would like to see her or not.

HeteronormativeHaybales, thank you but unfortunately we've already tarred ourselves the bad guys here. It does make me cross to see the instant reaction to a period is 'oh no'. Yes it's younger than usual, but not terrible. Most periods aren't debilitating and we don't even know the whole circumstances here (how the daughter, the important person here, has reacted). Very much in the minority about 'freaking out' over the whole thing, as I see. No point reiterating my view though, so just hope your daughter is ok op, and you're both getting over the shock.

Hungryhippo You've been great and she sounds like she's taking it all in her stride. I think you just have to be practical about it. It is what it is.

And I get what you mean - starting their periods is a big step on the way to 'growing up' - it biologically means they can become a mother - and this is what I think underpins the 'freaking out' because children who start their periods are in no way emotionally ready for that journey. So I think it's important to remember there are 2 journeys our children take - the biological one as determined by their genes - but also the emotional one as determined by their upbringing, culture and society.

Be assured your daughter is still a child and will be for quite some time.