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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be freaking out that DD has gotten her period!!!

222 replies

hungryhippo90 · 28/09/2016 09:31

Just exactly that!!
She's a big girl, 4"11and size 5 shoe. She looks about 12 by most people's guesses. I'd expected it to come soon-ish because she's started to get hairy legs. But I thought it would be in a year or so, which would put her at the age when I got my period, but she's 8. And this seems far too young..

Am I bu to really be freaking out about this?

OP posts:
ThePinkOcelot · 28/09/2016 09:52

Lilets do a good range of teen pads. The others are far too big, I think. They also do a starter pack with a little pouch for her bag.
That is young. Dd was 10 and I thought that was young.

MissPattie · 28/09/2016 09:52

Also, remember that this may be a false start. I had a period when I was 12, but it did not start properly again for another six months.

Bountybarsyuk · 28/09/2016 09:53

OP I actually think this would be a big shock. You haven't had years of other pubertal development to prepare yourself, and you do still tend to think of having a period as something for the nearly teens. I would also be shocked by my 8 year old having periods, and I think those saying they wouldn't simply haven't had this happen to them. There's a whole heap of difference between an 8 year old and a mature 10 year old, at 10 they are nearly at the top of primary for a start!

That said, this is probably very normal, given puberty is going much earlier, plus if she is a big girl, it is much more common for bigger/taller girls to start puberty/menstruate earlier, there's lots of research on it.

Deep breaths, go to chemist, and I would be honest with her but in a nice way. Don't be upset, just say 'well, that was a bit of a surprise for all of us!' as it probably was for her too, and give her a big hug. You will do just fine on this, once the original shock has worn off.

CakeByTheOcean · 28/09/2016 09:54

That's true about false starts. She may not have another one for some time.

petitpois55 · 28/09/2016 09:54

AH OP Flowers 8 is very young. No wonder you were a bit shocked. It will be fine though. Your DD is probably a bit confused as well.
Mine was 11 and i was still a bit shocked when it happened.

LoisWilkersonsLastNerve · 28/09/2016 09:54

8 is really young. I get why your upset op. Just keep it calm for your DD when you see herSmile

ThisUsernameIsAvailab1e · 28/09/2016 09:55

I think it's too early and I'd be making a doctors appointment for reassurance

Would I freak out? Yeah of course- privately. As a rule 8 year olds don't start their periods. Some do but that is not the norm so there's nothing wrong with a private EEKK and making an appointment just to double check

Op / ignore the idiots

Realhousewivesofshit · 28/09/2016 09:55

Yes agree with all that. Good luck with it all op. Who would be a woman aye!

I remember dd aged 11 vividly crying with cramps and I felt furious that she had to put up with this crap as a child. Hugs Flowers

EdmundCleverClogs · 28/09/2016 09:56

hungryhippo90, I explained why. I'm surprised that when hearing what happened to your daughter, the first thing you do is jump on the internet, tell strangers about your 'freak out' before actually going to get/speak to your daughter. I think you're overreact and it will probably show - yes 8 is younger than usual but not unheard of. She's still a little girl, it's not like she's a woman now, why the 'freaking out'?

CuddlesAndCupcakes · 28/09/2016 09:56

hungryhippo90 I don't think you're being the least bit inappropriate, if I were you and in your situation I would be the absolute same, I don't understand why someone commented that this seems as about you Confused because you've not made me think that.

People tend to comment ALOT of unhelpful things on this site.

Bitzer · 28/09/2016 09:57

Totally normal to be panicky. It is early, and you've only just found out. Also, much better to get your worries out into the open here so that you can get it out of your system (to an extent) before your DD gets home.

Of course you're not being 'inappropriate' - what the hell is mumsnet for if not to get support about stuff like this. Can't believe how judgy people are.

Just do everything you can to reassure her. Yes, it's a surprise. But you can handle it together and make sure she's prepared for all the practicalities of starting before her classmates. And make sure she knows she can ask you anything she wants about it. Good luck Flowers

Hockeydude · 28/09/2016 09:57

Yanbu what a shock for you op
I have an 8yo, slightly taller and similar shoe size, also looks about 12 and your post has made me think I must get my dd some towels just in case
Op would you mind if I asked your dd's weight, just so I can compare with mine (who is 5ft tall and 6 stone 8) because I thought generally they don't start until 7 stone or is it 7 1/2 stone. Is your dd is less than this?

CuddlesAndCupcakes · 28/09/2016 09:58

EdmundCleverClogs have you maybe thought that she hasn't got anyone in real life to discuss this with?

Aworldofmyown · 28/09/2016 09:59

I would pop along to your doctor. My friends 8 year old saw a specialist when she started puberty, she was told 9 is on the early side of the spectrum. I believe they do like to keep an eye on things if it does start young.

EddieStobbart · 28/09/2016 09:59

I think it's worth having a chat with the GP. One of my colleagues had a DD who showed early signs of puberty and the doctor thought it was worth monitoring. She had some hospital check ups and follow ups.

I also had a friend who was thought to have started her period young -started bleeding, given sanitary towels - but it turned out she had an infection. She wasn't developing on other ways however.

I really don't want to freak you out, I just think it's worth having a conversation to make sure everything is ok.

Bountybarsyuk · 28/09/2016 09:59

Hockeydude the relationship between weight and early onset of puberty/menstruation isn't that straightforward. If you have a child who is adults size, essentially, whatever her age, I would definitely get in some towels, practice using them, chat about it and buy a book (we have the Osborne one). It's hard to wrap your head around, but easier if you start young. I know two girls who are tall/big for their age (so taller than me by Year 5) who started periods at 9.

Realhousewivesofshit · 28/09/2016 10:00

intheknickers then that would be making it all about your feelings and not the dds.

Unlike the adverts not many girls want to go kick a ball outside while having a first period at 8!

There's no suggestion the op is being OTT here, 8 is very young and you can't just give her a pad and tell her to get on. It's different as a teen as her user group will support her. This is totally different.

BlueStockingUK · 28/09/2016 10:00

Awwh Bless ! My DD is 10. I too would be shocked !
it just seems so young for them to get headaches, be hormonal, cramps and then the blood.

She's asking on a thread, whilst daughter is at school, not freaking out in front of her!

cuddles, a chat & chocolate OP

I think some MNettr's on this thread are being nasty bitches.. Angry

longdiling · 28/09/2016 10:01

I'm never sure if there's a competition on here to be the biggest arsehole or to be the most cool blasé person in the world. Unless you are a robot, devoid of all emotion you are going to get freaked out by stuff sometimes. Your 8 year old starting her period is an understandable thing to be taken off guard by. The op has already told her about periods and is heading straight to the chemist so she's clearly not a complete muppet in need of a grip. She just needed to share her 'omg' initial reaction with people on here. She'll be fine OP and so will you, good for you telling her all about it from such a young age. When my sister started at 9 my mum hadn't thought to tell her so she was quite freaked out and upset.

Realhousewivesofshit · 28/09/2016 10:03

Ignore the nasty digs op. You get that on aibu. Take care of you and her.

Realhousewivesofshit · 28/09/2016 10:04

Exactly long

Soubriquet · 28/09/2016 10:05

Christ course yanbu

You can freak out all you like.

8?! Poor girl! Poor you!

But yes game face on when you see her.

Artandco · 28/09/2016 10:05

It's quiet early but she also sounds tall and almost adult size anyway ( my feet at size 4 at 30 years!)

SuckingEggs · 28/09/2016 10:07

Jeez. Some of you are bloody awful.

She's 8. It's young. The OP is not running around screaming.

It'll be fine. Be a support and give DD lots of reassurance.

EdmundCleverClogs · 28/09/2016 10:07

CuddlesAndCupcakes, my apologies. We're all different - I'm not saying that it's awful asking a parenting forum for advice and support. I'm saying for me, the first thing I'd be doing is making sure my daughter was ok and reassuring her that it's nothing to worry about. Mumsnet would not be my priority. I do feel for the daughter, it's not nice to be going through this so early. I stand by my first post in saying the op needs to get a hold of herself before seeing her daughter, as she will pick up on any 'freak out'. If that makes me 'mean', 'unhelpful' or an 'idiot', fair enough.