To be freaking out that DD has gotten her period!!!

[hungryhippo90]

Just exactly that!!
She's a big girl, 4"11and size 5 shoe. She looks about 12 by most people's guesses. I'd expected it to come soon-ish because she's started to get hairy legs. But I thought it would be in a year or so, which would put her at the age when I got my period, but she's 8. And this seems far too young..

Am I bu to really be freaking out about this?

Totally understand where you are coming from OP.

I have posted about this before but my 7.5 year old is regularly mistaken for 11/12. She wears 10-11 or 11-12 size clothes. She is skinny but tall. I am hoping she doesn't start early. I would be freaking out if she did.

I have told her about periods etc but I think I will get some of the teen pads and a few books and have them on hand just incase. Hopefully I won't have to use them for a good few years.

Why is everyone being so horrible to the OP? She's asking for advice from other parents, that's why these sites exist.

I have a seven year old dd and I've only just told her about periods (it had never come up naturally before). I'd be very surprised if she started next year and I would freak out a bit privately even though I'd be matter of fact with dd. Because she is still a little girl and managing it independently would be a big ask. She still plays my little pony. She has only just started to shower alone. OP is not being unreasonable!

The weight thing is only a guideline as my DD started at 12 and a half when she weighed just over 5 stone and had, as she put it, no boobs or fur yet.

The point is, she started because she was at the right stage of development for her as an individual. We had no indicators ahead of time other than moods!

hockeydude I think the seven stone is a myth tbh. Dd1 started at 11 she's now 23, she's had regular periods from the off she's barely seven stone now and would have been closer to five at eleven. Dd2 was 12 and only 4 foot 8 and again about five stone 7.

everyone is saying puberty starts much younger now - is there a scientific reason for this? I was shocked when the OP said she was only 8!

Spot on long

Mumsnet used to be a relatively safe place to share those "Oh Fuck!" moments we all have from time to time. Without having loads of people wading in. I feel like an old gimmer but Mumsnet has certainly changed in the years that I have been a member.

And yes, I am aware that this is in AIBU and not chat.

I'm not a nasty bitch. I have a completely different point of view and perhaps a dry sense of humour. I have not had a go at the op but calling me a nasty bitch is apparently ok! I have just disagreed with some of the advice on here. I have dealt with it as a parent and I know 8 is not uncommon for a girl to start their periods. So let's just normalise the whole thing. Op, it's not the end of the world and not abnormal in the slightest. I'll leave you ladies to help the op organise the girls first moon party.

I'm never sure if there's a competition on here to be the biggest arsehole or to be the most cool blasé person in the world

Yep. Can you imagine what joys these arseholes are to be around IRL?

Awk OP, 8 is still so tiny. I can understand why you're a little freaked out. Just follow her lead on how you react.

Did the school say how she was? I would be worried in case she wanted to come home now.

I have noticed it a lot lately too. No matter what the subject is there is always some dismissive post about how its not important/worth worrying about.

Great for those posters. They clearly have their shit together and sail through life never being upset or worried or hurt. But there is a time and a bloody place. If you can't be helpful then STFU.

ah, that's too young to be worrying about that sort of thing. Our biology is rubbish. DD is ten but even then she's too young to be dealing with this - although she's two years older she's still a little girl, playing with cuddly toys, running around naked, holding my hand all the time.

Lots of sympathy to you too OP. I think it is a shock for you too and that's perfectly understandable.

Seeyou That's not a helpful post and there isn't a definitive causal link between weight and onset of periods, though it is a factor.

Artifical oestrogens in the environment have been theorised as a contributing factor though this is not proven.

God some people in here have as much empathy as a used tea-bag!

From the point of view of a girl who started hers young, I wouldn't like it if my daughter started them at eight, because I felt crap when mine started at nine, but you deal with it, and soon its like you cannot remember life without them!
I was the first in my class to start mine (first to get boobs too which I bloody hated!) and the teacher, thinking she was making me feel special, told all the girls in our sex ed lesson that 'Here's Cass, and SHE has started her PERIODS everybody! Yay! She is on the road to becoming a WOMAN!'
I felt sick to my stomach, embarrassed, and wanted to punch my Mum for not telling me that these could star so damned early! I still loved Care bears for Christs sake, and My Little Pony!
My mum was from a family where periods and sex and stuff were not discussed, it was embarrassing, therefore, I was given a little booklet about pads and such, and I felt like a blooming alien!
I now have a 9 yr old daughter, and she knows all about periods, I started telling all my kids, boys included, about periods and sex, (I never wanted them to feel out of the loop like I did!) why Mummy gets p*&^%d off with Daddy so much for that one week every month, and I make it as matter of fact as I can, even funny!
My 17 yr old boy now even goes and buys me a massive Toblerone when he knows its 'That Time' (which most people find so wierd! lol) but he'll get my tampons and pads when I need them or his gf needs them, because me and the husband have desensitized my kids to it all, its life, its crappy, it can hurt for a bit, but its so worth it in the end. Plus, us girls that start earlier, well, it just means we're more special and lovely! lol
Your little lady will be fine, treat her too so she doesn't just associate it all with being rubbish, when my girls start theirs, we shall have a girly shopping trip (if the cramps allow lol), they can choose which pads they want (yippee!), we'll go and stuff ourselves with hot chocolate and cake from the shops, and then watch netflix with a hot water bottle! lol. My husband cannot wait until the day there is four of us girls with synced up hormones, all screaming at him to get chocolate! (Although I fear the actual result will be much much worse! lol)
Lotsa love to you and your girl! Tell her that by the time the other girls are all freaking out, she will be old hat at it all! xxxxxx

Why are those things mutually exclusive Edmund? It takes seconds to post on a forum, the op didn't write a novel. Also, getting the freak out of the way before she heads to school is probably a good idea, she's even had some good advice on here (in-between the bitching)

seeyou

Sorry that's utter bollocks and has absolutely no scientific proof.

Please don't believe this crap posters. I am a HCP and that's the daftest post ever read.

My dd was tiny tiny and started at 11.

Puberty onset seems to be in some cases genetic so some cultural/racial groups start earlier and it can be just arbitrary. The 7 stone rule is urban myth too.

The only girl I knew growing up who started her period this young was tiny too.

Oh and when I started at 13 I was nowhere near 7 stone.

Ah yes knickers, there's nothing in between telling the op off for being freaked out and organising a moon party is there?! Only one extreme reaction or the other in your mind clearly! After all how else will your post stand out from the crowd?

And FYI the pleasant lady up thread who postulated that the op's dd must be overweight, my sister wasn't. She had a friend who started at the same time as her, she was very petite. I'd be interested to see the links to the articles/evidence you got your information from, as a mum myself.

seeyouontheotherside

Actually going to report your post as not only is it factually incorrect it's utterly spiteful.

Gosh, eight is just so little. Hopefully this will be a false start and she'll have a bit longer before it comes properly. I usually feel like I need a day on the couch with chocolate and cuddles during my period, and I'm 43, so I think that sounds like an excellent plan.

I have a just 8 (pretty mature outlook with older sister) year old dd and a nearly 10 year old dd. There is a chasm of difference between the two ages. The nearly 10 year old is moving towards the end of junior school and thinking about secondary schools, more independence etc. The yr4 8 year old is developing out of infants and into a junior child.

Having both in front of me and seeing their friends etc I can see it's a different ballgame.

So, for those who say 'i started at 10, what's the fuss?', don't be so bloody mean.

OP - if my 9yr old started now it would be ok, she is mature enough but would still be hard. If my 8 year old were to I'd be upset for her having to deal with it and feel like you do.

Hope she's ok 😊

You have my sympathies OP, I'd be the same. My DD was 5 when she started showing signs of puberty (pubic hair, BO) and we're under the care of the hospital at present. We're just awaiting the results of her bone age assessment as early puberty can stunt growth as growing slows down generally after the onset of periods - maybe worth you running it past the GP for an opinion? I've had to tell the school about it after being bullied by the consultant because I figured if she did start their period at school their first thoughts might be towards something more sinister.

And just clarify, my DD is not fat; on 75th centile for weight and over 91st for height. She's incredibly active, has a great diet that doesn't contain huge amounts of processed food and looks 'lean'. Early puberty has numerous causes, it is not purely down to weight, although that can sometimes be one of the attributing factors.

intheknickersoftime

We're just terrible, unsympathetic monster . We just don't understand, obviously never been through a tough time ever, and periods mean that you can never be a proper child again. As opposed to 'yes, can see it must be a shock, but it's not the end of the world. So get a hold of yourself, go get your daughter and tell her it will be ok'.

We may be bitches, but at least we're not overreacting.

Seeyouontheotherside where has the OP said her daughter was "padded out" (horrible expression by the way).

She says she's big as in she's tall and has large feet, neither or which indicate she's overweight!

I think you've taken a leap there.

long there is no evidence unless you count the daily fail medical pages which are generally hilarious.

I reported the post as its factually incorrect and utterly spiteful too.